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Joined: Jan 2002
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Hi all,<p>I know that our situations are very different in this corner of MBs because we have the added burden of OC to deal with. But haven't we strayed awful far from the Harley ideas that are meant to guide our marriage recoveries? <p>I can't remember the last time I heard someone mention the POJA, Love Busters, the Love Bank, Plan A and Plan B. <p>It seems we mostly get bogged down in discussions of a) visitation and b) the yucky OW.<p>I am going to try starting a couple of threads on MB techniques just to see if there is any interest.<p>As for all newbies, welcome to the board. Please go read all of the materials that the Harleys have posted on this site. They practically give away for free their entire system for rebuilding marriages.<p>I wish you all God's Shalom, His Peace and His Wholeness,
MJ
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,369
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I concur, MJ. This site has also taken on an uncomfortable theological bent. We are not here to debate Scripture or insist we corner the market on translating/interpreting Bible verses. <p>God is an integral part in our recovery, lives and marriages. He is the Alpha and the Omega. He has led each and every one of us to this site for healing. He divinely inspired Dr. Harley to supply us with the tools. Now we must use these tools for recovery.<p>Our personal relationship with God is a sacred and private one. While it is important to discuss God's meaning in our lives here, this site is for incorporating the plans, the policies and the principles of Dr. Harley. <p>This is what I believe and is only my opinion.<p>Catnip =^^=
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,303
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I don't know if you are referring to the private thread where Katie Scarlett and I got off into a discussion. If so, then I apologize.<p>However, I think that in order to be a "marriage builder" one does need to have some foundational beliefs and values, i.e., faith in the one who created marriage in the first place. I have read many WS posters who do not value their vows nor marriage, so no amount of POJA or Plan A-ing would convince them that this stuff is anything more than manipulation. FWIW, I found MY copy of HNHN in my local Christian bookstore.<p>As for discussing the Harley principles, I'm all for sharing articles and different Q&As that I believe are helpful.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 610
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Dear BTDT,<p>My comment wasn't directed at you. I meant it for all of us. We have a lot to deal with and sometimes venting is what we all need, but we also need a plan to recover our marriages (or leave them if they do not improve). I see a lot of people on all sections of these boards who stay in marriages where the spouse has been unfaithful and, even if he or she breaks off the affair, never moves toward rebuilding the marriage. <p>From what I understand, although I have not done it, when you counsel with the Harleys you put plans in place. <p>I was just suggesting that we move back toward implementing Harley tools. Vent yes, but also build a plan and work toward recovery or make appropriate steps to protect yourself from a spouse who only continues to injure.<p>Shalom,
MJ
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Joined: May 2001
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