Here is a link to another MBer's "Cliff Notes" on Harley principles. Please all newbies, read through this material. Please, all us "oldies" let's refresh ourselves on the Harley material. It helped many of us rebuild our marriages and I hope we would recommend it to our newcomers. (Hey how about a newcomer quiz? [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>You can't post until your are certain that POJA stands for "Policy of Joint Agreement" not "Policy of Joint Aggression!" [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>and that The Four Rules for a Successful Marriage aren't:<p>1. Think of yourself first, all the time
2. Demand jewlery and other expensive gifts
3. When the going gets tough, just hit the road
4. And finally, hmmm? any idea for the fourth? <p>DRAT: I forgot to add the link:<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=009007<p>Peace,
MJ<p>[ February 26, 2002: Message edited by: MaryJanes ]</p>

I'm sure #4 must be "don't forget to have your affair" Since that's the only one on the list that I'm guilty of. I guess I should have started at #1 huh?

Well, I was thinking that #3 kinda covered the affair bit. You can hit the road without legally leaving your marriage. (No guilt trip intended here. I kinda think that is what most WSs do. They don't like the game so instead of negotiating new rules, they take their marbles and go play somewhere else. I think my H lost his marbles. He took them over to her house to play and he forgot to gather them back up when he was done. Whoops! that isn't supposed to be as phallic as it came out. I wasn't referring to what we politely call "cojones." I meant marbles as in "lost his marbles."<p>I'm trying to help him gather them back up and rebuild his life--financial, spiritual and emotional. He ain't as recovered from his affair as I am. Even when a brief affair ends in a child, I don't think it is as damaging as the long-term love affair that ends in a child.<p>MJ