Hi everyone, I have not posted in months, but I have been reading the posts for comfort. I have a question for all BS. Why do we always (me included) look for fault in the other party and not our lying, cheating spouse. For those who don't know me, I was betrayed by my H. We have been married for 18 years. In July 2001 I found out by accident he had a 2/1/2 year old daughter who lived less than a mile away. I called this women every dirty, nasty name I could think of. She has not had the paternity test done as far as I know. I finally broke down and told my children and they seem to be handling it well. But you know what I learned after all this time. I could care less if it his baby or not... it will not take from the fact that he had an affair and he lied and he had unprotected sex. If she is a nasty, lying whore it doesn't make me feel good, it just says my H whom I loved and respected laid with a lying, nasty whore. So again, why should I forgive him and not her. She didn' promise to love me? Tell me please, why forgive him and not her?