I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one cause I feel that no matter how long you've been here that everyone deserves the same amount of respect and consideration. I don't believe that there is anyone here advocating affairs and that they need to go to gloryb. Understanding why some things happen means hearing the things you want to hear as well as the things you don't.

<p>[ March 03, 2002: Message edited by: catnip ]</p>

Hi,
Just had to respond to this one. I blame my husband for betraying me, but...the other woman made my life hell for a whole year with threatening phone calls, one day called 21 times, until police finally traced all calls to her as well as an abusive, obscene e--mail that she sent to my 16 year old daughter. This is how I found out about affair. I forgive my husband, and love him with all my heart, but live in constant fear that he will hurt me again. As far as OW, I pray that she will find some sort of peace and just leave me alone!! I had known this woman and she spoke kindly to my face, never letting on that she was sleeping with my husband, and cowardly making prank phone calls to me at every chance she could. Hard to respect someone like that. Don't blame the whore for the affair, just the sick little phone game.

MT<p>Are those your initials or just the way you feel?<p>Isn't it sad what we do to our fellow human beings? I just grieve sometimes for mankind and for the pain we inflict upon one another. I am so sorry for your pain and for the sadness you are experiencing.<p>The good news is that you have come to the right place. You find this site via Divine Intervention and this forum's creator is Dr. Harley who has authored many books on surviving affairs and issues pertaining to infidelity and how to get past the pain, rage, grief and get to acceptance and solutions.<p>Dr. Harley has devised a system of Principles such as Rules of Honesty and Protection and others to guide you and your spouse into a true and lasting recovery. He has designed a Policy of Joint Agreement which will help you to restore trust in your marriage.<p>If you have just arrived here, you need to read all of the introduction and the articles posted on this site to familarize you to the policies and prinicples. MT, you need to incorporate these Principles and Policies into your marriage immediately.<p>There are a quite a few of members here eager to get you started posting your so we can all get to know you and hopefully help you and guide you through the next few months. Start by telling your story with more detail and read all the literature by Harley and get a few books at the bookstore such as "Surviving the Affair" by Abrams (?) and "His Needs, Her Needs".<p>I am so sorry you are here but so glad you found this place...let us know what we can do.<p>Catnip =^^=<p>PS Check out Jenny's thread on Welcome to Newbies<p>[ March 01, 2002: Message edited by: catnip ]</p>

Hello Catnip,
My initials are mt, but it is also how I feel. I did find this site quite by accident. Sometimes I just feel so alone. I've told my husband about it, but he would rather just forget about the whole thing.(His affair). It's pretty hard for me to forget because he still works with her. Sometimes I feel like he really loves me and that this is really going to work, but other times I get very insecure. I don't post very often, it hurts too much sometimes to even read the pain that others are going through. I know that everything will be ok, I have read a lot of articles on this site when I first joined. I would say that we are in the process of recovery.
Thanks for helping!
Bs
married 19 years
2 children, a girl 19, a boy 14
Husband had affair 1999