I am 26 and my husband is almost 30. We have 2 sons together, 4 and 1-1/2. My husband's 12 year old daughter has lived with us full time for the last 5 years (She's a great kid-no problem). We have been together for 7 years and married for 4. We were together about 8 months then spent about 18 months apart and then shortly after I moved home i got pregnant and we married after the baby came. I am lucky to work at home full time (making more than my husband) and i also help my dad out at his bar on saturday afternoons. My husband works about 32 hours a week on average. Somehow through the years it has come about that I do everything to make our household run. I do all the dishes, laundry, housecleaning other than the chores my stepdaughter has (overall about 20 percent of dishes and picking up toys) and I also do all of the cooking, shopping, bill paying, errands and child rearing (he's only given the boys about 6 baths total). This includes getting the boys up and dressed and breakfast even though i am working and he doesn't go in until 10 am. He acts like anything he has to do is a burden such as if he's going to a friend's house and i ask him to go to the store for something. It's to the point where i would just load up the kids and get it myself. He is always in a bad mood and hates his job. he complains if he has to stay with the kids on one of his days off (this only happens if i am working an extra day for dad). Anyways, I could go on but this is a very one-sided relationship. I have talked to him about how uneven the responsibilities are in the past on occassion and he just blew it off ("That's a woman's job"). Finally about two months ago I made it very clear that i wasn't going to live like this forever. He still didn't try and I finally gave in to temptation and started seeing someone that was my friend from high school. I was honest with H and told him about the other man and told him if it wasn't for the kids i would've left before and now I have something to leave for. of course now he says he'll change and he acts like this is some big surprise even though i've tried to discuss this before. I guess my guilt lies in the fact that I really like my new friend and whenever I think of staying it's because of my kids and what they will go through. I don't think I love my husband anymore. Any advice????

Time to address the POJA. You obviously do not have one, and you also obviously need one.

Your H is responsible for his part in the deterioration of your marriage, but you are solely responsible for going outside of the marriage to get your needs met. This affair needs to end before your marriage can be fixed. The reasons are long and extensive.

What you really really need to do is buy the book "Surviving An Affair" and read it. You also should read everything here.

Once again, I will wholeheartedly back what Takola has said.