Help!!! I don't know what to do. I have been with my W for 6-7 years, married for 3. Most of the married years I was addicted to pain killers, but I have sought counselling and medical attention not too long ago, sobered up, and I have ZERO desire to return. I love my W. but I have went to my parents in the country to give her alone time while she sorts things out in her head. There was never any physical or verbal abuse, but I was emotionally unaware and I'm sure draining. She became more and more OCD and angry as time went by. I let my career slip, etc... all this is changing now. I'm doing my best. She is scared of therapy because she doesn't want to come out more screwed up than she already feels. Her mother already tells her that she is Co-dependent, etc... She's even reading that Melody Beattie book. I don't know what to do. She says she is not sure if she wants to be with me, but if there ever was two compatable people who WERE soul mates, it's us. I think she'll take me back when I return to Los Angeles, but what can we do?

I think you need to get a professional involved. If she doesn't want to participate at first that is fine. This does 2 things: gives you direction and demonstrates to her that you are serious.

Therapy and counseling are not the only options. You should seriously consider coaching.

Coaching Vs. Therapy Overview

The only thing you can control right now are your own actions. I strongly suggest you get "Love Busters" and "His Needs Her Needs". "Love Busters" is the more critical of the two at this point. Avoid LBs like your marriage depends upon it (it does), and begin to identify and meet her ENs (Emotional Needs).