I posted a while back wondering how your DNA test turned out as we were expecting ours at the same time...from reading your recent post...sounds like we both didn't get the results we wanted/expected....*sigh*<p>I often wondered how you were doing and I send thoughts and prayers your way...
Hugs,
Twiisty

Hi Twiisty: I was gone for so long I didnt think anyone would remember me or my situation. Thank you for your kind words. How are you doing? And what are you doing or plan on doing about your OC? How is this effecting you and the effort you have put into your relationship?<p> The OC was born the end of August, & we got DNA results October 4, It was a terribly difficult and emotional day. My hands were shaking when I opened the envelope. H wasnt home. I went into an emotional tailspin that H couldnt understand. His reasoning was that I knew it would probably be positive. (Still I was hopeful it wouldn't be.) We had an argument where he divulged that he had a phone card to call her for updates @ Oc so I wouldnt find out. That caused me to move out for 3 months. He stayed home and took care of everything. We have a disabled child that I physically can not care for alone, so him staying at home was the best option. I think behind it, he got tired of all the work, & thats why he asked me to come back home. <p>I believe he decided staying w/ the family was the best thing, but his heart isnt complete toward ME. I can feel it, that makes me feel sad and lonely, even when things seem good between us. I keep hoping that will change in time.<p>I like your little sayings at the end of your message. I collect them. I have a 3" binder full of stuff I have written down over the past 1year. Some of it is what I think and feel, the rest are thing Ive read or heard. Alot are verses from songs, or phrases from books. <p>I just finished reading a book I got at the library called "Heart of the West" (sorry author I cant remember your name :{ ) I got a ton of things from it that touched me. Here are 3:
**********************************************
"I rekon I'm just a sucker for love, & it costs a lot of your heart to love a thing you're bound to lose: either through death, or them leavin you, or you givin them up. It costs... (especially for) the one man out of all the worlds sweet-talkin rascals that you've allowed inside your head and soul. Most of all him."
*************************************************
"You're right! I don't understand! I gave you all that I had. Everything that was mine I gave to you. Everything that I had to give from heart to guts, I let you take it all and willingly. But, I swear, I feel sometimes as if I'm looking at you from the other side of a hurricane fence. Is there a heart inside you? Are you feeling anything at all?"
**************************************************
"We Chinese believe that to be born is not enough. And if that is so, what matters then? Honor matters, and hope."
**************************************************
I have hope and wish it for you.<p>Keep sharing, and may things work out the way that makes you happy.<p>In frienship, thought and prayer, I'll be here.

HOH...<p>It was good to see your reply...I rememebered ya.<p>To answer your question,
our DNA test came in shortly after yours. I went ballistic...broke a finger...(my wedding ring finger of all things) among adding a few new holes to our wall...very mature, eh? [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>From the beginning my Husband, Mr. "T", has decided on no contact. He met ex-OW in public, paid her cash and moved on...did no interaction with the child. He told me that even though he was stupid and irresponsible, he wanted to do the responsible thing and give the child up for adoption, so the child would have a better chance at life with two loving parents.<p>Of course, we understand that adoption may not be an option for the mother, so she essentially chose single parenthood. Mr. "T" signed over his rights to the ex-OW...essentially giving sole care and custody to ex-Ow, sent a no contact letter. We settled out of court for child support and we have been paying faithfully what we agreed on out of court.<p>So far it's been quiet, but I watch, pray and continue to move on and work with my H in recovering our marriage.<p>We don't feel that it is beneficial for us to be in OC's life for a variety of reasons, one of which is the instability of ex-OW and how she would upset our lives as a household (we have four children of the home)...if you read back on my posts it will give the full situation. We cannot in good conscience be a part of OC's life and be fair to her...therefore, Mr."T" gave her up to her mother.<p>That's it for us right now...I'll write more later, I have two screaming kids who are protesting nap time!
Hugs,
Twiisty

We too settled CS out of court and feel we are getting a fair deal. OW says she will be cooperative w/ visitation. Our first meeting she wasnt. She insisted on staying w/ OC the whole time which was hard on me. <p>H wants to be part of OC's life because of what he knows @OW and her relationship w/ her H and his family. Alot of bizarre thinking and behavior there. He feels he could be the stable influence. Though how much when you see someone 1 or 2 times a year is yet to be seen. From what I could tell when I saw them, the baby seems very healthy and happy. Nice and clean & nice clothes...Very good natured and that says alot, I think. I think she is being taken care of very well.<p>A relationship w/ OW & OC I think is inviting trouble, but I am leaving that up to him. From day one I knew of the kid and decided I wanted my marriage regardless. I am trying to be accepting of the kid, But I dont want to be of the OW. <p>Funny thing, the OW was very nice when I met her. I didnt dilike her really. Im a weirdo arent I?!!