Message edited by: Tina71 ]<p>[ June 26, 2002: Message edited by: Tina71 ]</p>

Tina,<p>It may be a good idea to get a mediator and have a custody agreement drawn up so both sides know what to expect and the guilt trip can stop. No one can make him do more than he is, not the OW and not the mediator. I think in this situation that your H is doing a very good job of fulfilling his responsibilities. With $1500 a month tell the OW to hire a mother's helper for crying out loud.
BTW, I have 3 kids and my H never got up in the middle of the night with any of them and in the mornings he was too busy getting himself ready for work to help with the kids so I think she can manage on her own.<p>[ April 05, 2002: Message edited by: want it back ]</p>

sounds to me as if you and your husband are doing all you possibly could for OC. In fact more than generous, maybe mediation wouldnt be so bad, I would think any one listening would see you are going above and beyond your responsibility. I am not sure I understand what more could you give?

losing his job while a tremendous burdon, is a blessing, he will not be around other woman and , my guess is, he will find an even better job than this one, and you will both be happier.

Tina,<p>I don't there is anything else your H can do for these children. Paying CS and having visitation is the only thing a father in these circumstances can do. She has to get her emotional support from someone else. If there is to be a mediator involved make sure your H stipulates that you are to be present. Sit down and write out your thoughts and feelings so that your opinions are heard. So far I've been included in all the mediation hearings except one. It's helped me feel included and it allowed me to express my feelings to exOW and the mediator heard my side of the story. Your H exOW has to be realistic she knowingly and willing had a long term affair with a MM and had two children by him. What did she expect? Good luck and keep praying for strenght.<p>Unsure <p>PS- Even though it doesn't seem like it I think your H losing his job is a blessing in disguise.

<p>[ June 26, 2002: Message edited by: Tina71 ]</p>

Tina71<p> with out saying too much, I KNOW SOMEONE IN THIS SITUATION AND HE LOST HIS JOB AS WELL DID ow, but he has a better job now, pay is better, more respect , more responsibility and is loving every minute of it. God helps us when we need it. He will be there for you.

OMIGOSH,
She knows your H is not going to leave you and be with her so she is just pushing and pushing and pushing for all she can get and trying to give him a guilt trip. Rather than take responsibility for what she has created for her own two kids... I cannot imagine standing inside of your shoes right now... BUT I believe that if your H views your marriage as his priority and first commitment, then OW/OC's will naturally fall into their places on the totem pole... OW just needs to wake up and smell the coffee for HERSELF and for her kids...