<p>[ April 06, 2002: Message edited by: yelodaisy ]</p>

Just had to add something no one here understands. H ended A with ow, and saw ow at work and knew she was pg, but h said he never imagined it was his. H then heard ow had oc weeks after she had it. OC is now nine months old and now ow springs all of this on us. ow called my house a month ago and I answeredthe phone, why didn't she spill then?? I just don't understand any of this. And sometimes when I think about the future, I think how can H know his plans already, He found out aobut all this a few days before I did. I realized it is as much of a shock to him as it is to me.

Hello,
I am sorry for this hardship for you. I do not understand why OW waited so long to tell your H.<p>My situation is different. OW had the baby but has not contacted H for a paternity test and when my H tried to contact her she hung up. She said the OC is my H but won't get a paterinty test done. OC is only 5 months old and so far she does not want CS or does not want my H to see OC.<p>At least OW can only get back support from the date she files.<p>
Dawn

yelodaisy,<p>i can't tell you why OW didn't tell you anything until now either, but we had a similar situation. just make sure not to let it go. we did out of not knowing for sure and being naive and in denial and when she finally filed for CS the OC was almost 3. AND even though all the law books here in AZ say that support is from the date of filing, that is when the couple was married or together since it assumes that support was being given during that time. so we owe over $20,000 in back support and therefore will never get a house, etc. she has ruined that for us, all because she waited. but we should have done something too. hindsight is always 20/20...<p>hang in there. this is still fresh and new to you and the pain is very strong now. emotions are high and it makes everything seem impossible. <p>your H needs time to think of all this and so do you. it is not a decision to be made lightly or in haste. be the support for each other. use this time to start to grow closer and rebuild your marriage if that is what you both want to do. prayers for you both that you can get through this. <p>happy_girl

OMIGOSH happy_girl,
I just added something to my prayer list: That God would do a miracle in your finances so that if you guys need or want to buy your own house, that it would be possible! OW doesn't have the last word in your situation, God has the last word. I'm praying for your situation! Nothing is impossible for God!<p>yelodaisy, Maybe the OW was embarrassed or maybe she was sleeping around and not really sure whose baby it was, which is why she waited to tell you anything... (?) [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] Regarding your H thinking he knows his future plans, maybe he is just in shock. Men sometimes feel like they need a solution to everything immediately while we women tend to go by our emotions as events occur. One step at a time.<p>I didn't get any back support (in CA). I filed for CS when OC was 5. I really thought I could make it without bothering MM and his family. I couldn't make it. I hated to file, but I really was desperate. I didn't do it for myself or to get in contact with MM. I filed for OC's benefit alone. I filed and there was only one court date.<p>I'm sorry you are in this situation. I'm praying for you to keep making it and for all God's best for you, with your head held high and a real smile of contentment on your face.