My question(s) may seem strange to you guys, but here goes:

I am just married (few weeks ago in fact) and have a great relationship with my husband with a few bumps here and there. However, the other day, I was at home on our computer and discovered a bunch of nude pics of women (lots of porn basically) on our hard drive. I thought, hmm, that's weird. So I asked him about it, and he goes, "I don't know what that is. Maybe John (his best friend who visits occasionally) was looking at porn or something." Sure. Somehow I don't believe that because when they are together they are either out at the bar or playing Playstation all night. Plus I'm there the whole time.

Well then a few weeks later I saw that he has lots of porn coming in regularly (that he looks at) to his work email as well (guess he thinks I would never see that)...I don't usually snoop but I admit it, I did it and I'm not proud of it. So, now I'm stumped. This is making me feel like I'm inadequate in our sexual relationship. Why would my NEW husband (who obviously looked at porn before we were married as well, I have no doubt) need to look at this stuff, and then deny it? Am I crazy for getting mad about this? I've dated other guys in the past who occasionally looked at dirty magazines (and admitted to it), and it was no big deal to me. But this seems different. I don't know if I should be mad, or if most happily married men do this and it's a normal thing.

Please help, I don't want to confront him about this and start a war if I don't have to. In case anyone is wondering, I have no other reason not to trust him and he is usually honest about stuff. Any thoughts, comments (you can tell me I'm nuts if you want <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ) would be great. I don't want to start my marriage on the wrong foot!

Thanks!

NW26,
Welcome!
As a man married for almost 11 years to a very beautiful wife, I will tell you that Porn is a very serious problem for most men. By God's grace I was able to overcome my addiction many years ago, and yes it is an ADDICTION, however I still get tempted from time to time.
Porn is a very powerful tool Satan uses to lure men away from the love of their wives because he knows men are stimulated by such things(quite opposite of women). That is one of his main goals, to break up the unity of family. Any discord he can sew he feels is a victory.
Because you have discovered your husband is looking at porn doesn't mean he doesn't love you or that he doesn't find you attractive and appealing. It is a very easy thing to get drawn into. But all this doesn't excuse the fact that it is a problem. A problem that definately needs to be delt with soon. The only advise I can give you on how to safley approach this is to go to it in prayer. Pray for your husband and ask
God to clean his heart of this addiction.
I hope this helps and I hope perhaps someone else can offer some more tangable advise on the approach.

I agree with jahoney,

Porn can be a a big problem for a lot of men but may not mean that he thinks anything less of you.

My guess is he denied it because he didn't want to offend you.

The most important thing is that it is something in your relationship that bothers you and it must be adressed to keep from starting on that wrong foot.

You need to be open and honest with him about how it makes you feel without being judgemental.

If he were spending all day looking at pictures of cars on the internet and that bothered you, you would find a way to express your concern!

WIWH

<small>[ May 12, 2004, 11:37 AM: Message edited by: WishI WereHome ]</small>