I have been battling my drug addiction with crack/freebase for over a year now. I used to be bad with it around 3 years ago and put myself into rehab a few times and it made me quit. I started doing it last year again because I ended a 2 year relationship with someone, and an 8-year relationship with someone, which I think I never mourned over these breakups. I was feeling down, apartment-less, broke, in debt still, parents just got divirced after 35 years and well, I was self-loathing. I turned to the drugs again and it whirled out of control. I went to stay with my mother in Florida for a month in December 2003. I came back and was clean for 5 months, and turned to it again. I don't know why I did because I was totally in love with my new boyfriend and he also with me. I am so happy, I loved being sober and I just want answers of why, no matter how happy I am, I keep turning to drugs and move backwards when everything is going great in my life. Please help!!!

Have you looked into Narcotics Anonymous ?

Yes, but it does not work for me, it makes it worse actually. Also, there are not many NA meetings in my area of bedford hills, ny and greenwich, ct.

(Yes, but it does not work for me, it makes it worse actually. Also, there are not many NA meetings in my area of bedford hills, ny and greenwich, ct. )I will say this because I have been there, am still there and will always struggle there. You have to stop with the excuses, if the desire is there,work it, stop the "stinkin thinkin"(it does not work for me, it makes it worse actually) it does work, only if you "work" it.I live in NY and there are meetings out here, check the net for info, if NA is not available, go to AA. Work the steps, get a sponser, quit the enabling, you are only going to get what you put in.
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