Hi,

I have been married for 14 years. I am self employed and work at home. My wife works away from home.
I knew my wife was a controlling person when I married her and I have lived with it happily or un-happily. I also knew she was a drinker. I have had my share but seldom do I drink anymore.

About a year ago I was obese and taking diabetes and blood pressure medication. My wife talked me into trying the Atkins, low carb diet. I was 245 lbs and am now 195. I no longer take any medication, I walk 30 minutes every day on my tread mill.

My wife claims that my personality has changed with my weight loss. I believe that with my weight loss came improved self esteem and feeling better about myself in general. You wouldn't catch me dead outside without a shirt on one year ago. Now I mow my lawn with no shirt all the time.

I did a stupid thing in December. I went and leased a truck without consulting her. It's not like I suprised her with a new vehicle. We had been shopping for a Suburban or Expedition for 3 weeks and I was done. I wanted that big red Truck and didn't want to stand there at the dealership on the phone to her begging to let me get it. A couple of weeks later she got too drunk one night and hit me in the face. I left that night and stayed in a motel. The next day I got about 15 messages on my cell begging me to come home and that she would make it all better.

Anyway she says she can't get over the fact that I went and got this truck and she was not involved in the decision. Please keep in mind that this is the vehicle I drive. She has her own car. She says that I hurt our marriage by doing that. I try to tell her that it's just a truck. It's not like I went out and cheated on her or something.

For my birthday this year I told her I would like to get my pilots license current again. She said that would be great. A few weeks later we were talking to some friends that own a Harley-Davidson. They told us how much fun they have with thier bike and how they are constantly meeting new friends. She looked at me and said why don't we get a Harley instead of you flying again. Well, that's a no-brainer. Owning a Harley has been a life long dream. We went to the local dealer and started looking. She liked the colors of gold and black so, not wanting to rock the boat and take a chance on blowing the deal I agreed to order one in those colors. 3 weeks later I found out I would be waiting another 2 months for this motorcycle. The riding season here is not very long. I got ants in my pants and wanted to get the red and silver one on the showroom floor. After polling people at her work for their opinions on the colors (the overwhelming response was for the red & silver) she reluctantly agreed to get the red & silver one instead of waiting 2 more months with ants in my pants.
Now she's holding that against me.

My wife drinks way too much. She goes to work with a hangover almost every single day. Once she gets past about 4 or 5 drinks she can get mean and says hurtfull things to me and other people that love and care about her. This doesn't happen evey time but more often than I like. She wonders why we don't have so many friends anymore. She doesn't understand that when a friend calls with a problem, they don't need to be told what to do about it and then have their faces rubbed in it when they don't follow her advice.

We got in an argument on Sunday and have not really spoken since.

She knows she has a drinking problem and freely admits that she is a controlling person.

She is also extemely envious of my work situation. In the winter I work 7 days a week and sometimes 14, 16 or more hours per day. In the summer I am slow and have more time off than the average 9 to 5 working person. She wants me to get a regular job even though it would mean a fairly large loss of income.

I almost want to get on my bike and ride away and never come back but, I do love her and I don't want to throw away my relationship.

I haven't seen my parents in over a year. I was thinking about riding out to see them and giving her some time for herself. I just know if I was to bring that up it would immediatley be shot down. Even though just a couple of months ago I sent her out there for a mini-vacation.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I really appreciate any helpfull suggestions.

Thanks,

HomeAlone