So be it, lostsoul, God's will be done...you do not know your bio=dad right?
Neither will oc,
God,s will was done here and maybe with you too..<p>[ May 15, 2002: Message edited by: gemini1 ]</p>

Okay, so here I am sticking my neck out once again... but there was NO WAY I could leave this one untouched.<p>I've got one thing and one thing only to say...<p>"How sad it is when we become so lost in our OWN pain, that we cannot see or even possibly fathom or empathize with anothers"<p>Everyone meet in the middle, group hug time, then back to our perspective corners with at least a smile on your face.... <p>(This thread needs to end because it's no longer even about what the original post was)<p>[ May 16, 2002: Message edited by: AnnLovesCharlie ]</p>

I told myself I wouldn't post here again, but I'm going to anyway. <p>Why are these children being spoken of like they're property? Like they've been 'thrown in the trash' per se'. I understand there's pain that everyone goes through dealing with this, but to treat or speak of a child in a poor manner is unacceptable. And as far as CS goes, everyone can argue forever about why you/H think(s) you/H shouldn't have to pay it, the fact is you/H does have to pay it. Pay it and move on, no sense dwelling on it.<p>Treat others the way you would like to be treated, isn't that what we teach our children? How would you all feel if you were the little child(oc)? They do grow up you know, and most of them will probably seek their fathers out later on down the road. What will he say about everything? What will you say(if you're still in the picture when this occurs)? I refuse to believe that child will be loyal to their father rather than the mother that raised them, and that child probably won't stand for their mother being spoken of in an ill manner. What will everyone do in the future when the child can speak for themself? If the father can say nothing else to that child about where he was and why he was absent, at least he can say he paid his child support and he paid it on time. Maybe that will help salvage a little respect for him in the eyes of that child.<p>Just some food for thought. Take it or leave it, but it's just how I think of things when I look to the future. What goes around comes around, for everyone. Karma.

Skittles<p>I am not worried about the karma for the betrayed spouses because they are innocent victims as are the OC's. No one is speaking badly about OC's. I haven't heard one mean thing here about any OC. Emotions are high and there is anger, sadness, confusion, differnces of opinion, but there isn't anything remotely hateful or vindictive about OC's. The OC situation is another thing. none of us "like" having an OC situation in our lives. It changes everything for us. just because we wish the OC didn't exist because ofn the pain and destruction the situation has caused, doens't mean anyone wishes the OC ill will or is being hateful. This is just about our own pain and confusion.<p>God understands and knows what is in our hearts and how we really feel and forgives us any selfish thoughts. I am not worried about any karma...what could be worse than this? <p>Sometimes I think what I am living right now is a horrid karma I acquired from a previous life. If this is the case, I must have been the Whore of Babylon.<p>Catnip =^^=

Gemini-<p>I sympathize with lost soul because I also thought your comment about rape and a mother not loving a child born of it was distasteful generalization. Many of us generalize based on our own biases and situations but it isn't right and your statment about a mothers love was not correct.
I believe that it is God's will that a soul be created. I DO NOT believe that our messes here in this life have anything to do with God's will. Whether the biological parent knows the child or not isn't God's will in my eyes. I persoanlly believe that we WS/BS/OP act out of our own hurt & desperation regarding OC and our presence in their lives.

Skittles,<p>I think you make a very good point and bring to light some ideas for us to think about. I agree but I'm not a BS so it may be easy for me to see that your point is valid.
I firmly believe what you say about what comes around goes around. I don't blame the BS for having a hard time accepting oc, the tangible evidence of the a. The oc isn't the BS responsiblity of course. Howerver, the biolgical parents who want to wash their hands & not pay support, will no doubt find that justice (not for ow) but oc is served by a higher court.

WIB,<p>Your story is very interesting. I think that you have added an interesting twist to all of this. I had another member post to me yesterday and she said basically the same thing. It made me think of my own situation. We were using bc but I had told Om that my dr. wanted to change my pill because I have a hx of high cholestrol. Rather than go off of it, she changed me to a mini pill of sorts. I told him that while it was still very effective, it was not fool proof. I told him the week that we conceived my child that for the past 5 or 6 days I had been on a powerful antibiotic. His reaction was to pursue me practically daily. Looking back, I wonder about that. When I told him I was pregnant, I was all worked up. He was not. He was calm and said one thing: I don't want you to feel bad about yourself or this baby. I love you. I was puzzled then but having been at this site for a few months, I now wonder alot about it. I was expecting him to feel as worried and frantic as I did but he did not. He asked me to reaffirm what I had agreed to over the years, no abortion, no adoption, etc. He said it would work out either way, with my husband or with him. It was up to me. I don't mean to go off on my ex-om, I have been thinking alot about it. It doesn't matter much now I realize but an interesting twist to ow becoming pregnant. This thread took off of the outrageou cs and review practices that are unfair because someone said that ow get pregnant because they choose to.
I know we all have our own stories and experience and with them come our own little twists that should prevent generalizations that hurt others.

Hello Everyone,
I think that it seems this threat needs to end. If someone wants to discuss another topic besides CS, then they should make another threat. We are way off topic here.<p>Dawn

I would normally agree however babstr has 2 other threads to discuss cs and there have been some really interesting view that have cropped up after babstr left. I felt I needed to respond to some of the very interesting posts at the tail end of this thread and I would hope anyone who wishes to add theirs would feel welcomed to.