My wife of two years and I have been having trouble the past 6 months. She credits our growing apart to me spending too much time on the computer at home. At the time I was doing computer work at home, and spending time at several websites entertaining myself, ignoring her, and not talking to her or spending any time with her at all. There were nights when she went to bed alone because I was still wasting time playing games or goofing off on the computer. I was so blind to the hurt and trouble I was causing then and the thought of losing her never crossed my mind.

Since then I have completely cut out all computer use at home while she is there and have been trying to spend as much time as possible with her. At first when we first had a serious heartfelt conversation about our trouble, she agreed to try to work with me, and we both had hope. We both agreed to go to counseling with hopes that it would help, but after only the second visit, she told me that she wasn't comfortable with the whole situation, and didn't like the counselor. I suggested that we look around and try to find another one, or somebody that she would feel more comfortable talking to. She didn't show any interest in doing so. All of this happened several months ago, and since then it seems her hope for recovery has diminished. I searched around, and found this site. I read through everything several times, and also purchased the Love Busters book which I also read. I have been putting everything I have into trying to win her heart back, but I am blocked out and can't get through the wall she has built up. I still love her very much even with the coldness and rejection that I get from her, and I have been determined to make things better and willing to try anything. We recently sat and had some really good talks about how each of us felt and I know she still loves me, but not in a romantic way. I have tried getting her to agree to go on a weekend getaway trip with me so that we can spend some good time together with out any influence from friends or any distractions, but I think she dreads even thinking about spending time alone with me like that.

I haven't given up yet and I'm going to continue to do all that I can in hopes that she'll start appreciating me and all that I do for her. I guess I'm just afraid that she's never going to let me get through to her, and it's hard emotionally and physically to stay strong and continue with my efforts. I asked her if she would be willing to read the Love Busters book, and she said sh'e look at it. It wasn't a very enthusiastic answer, but I'll take anything I can get.

I feel alone in this fight, exhausted and don't know what to do next. Any ideas, tips, and support will be greatly appreciated

<small>[ July 12, 2004, 10:03 AM: Message edited by: sewsklov ]</small>