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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 271
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Does your daughter call both your husband and xOM "daddy"? A child psychologist told me this would be confusing to my D but I could not see any way around it and both are called daddy to her. I was just curious how you were handling it. When I speak of xOM to my D I try to use his name by calling him "daddy XXXX". I just could not bring myself to let her call my H anything else but daddy since he truly is her daddy. Anyone else in this situation is welcome to comment too. Thanks.
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,163
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Joined: Mar 2002
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WIB<p>That was a great source of difficulty for every one, They refer to my husband and XOM as daddy and I do as well, but when I speak of him, I cant bring myself to say just daddy.. so I say LETS GO SEE DADDY****and we go from there, his wife is called a shorter version of her first name. However as confusing as this is, little ones are able to adjust easy. WE have the trouble. <p> I dont say daddy in front of my husband because I fear hurting his feelings, and they are the same way. Lets be honest it feels a little wierd, but we all have to make adjustments. I worried she would start calling every man with glasses or grey hair daddy, but she has adjusted well, and when she is able to talk better , we will explain more, and I feel we have done best by introducing this early in her life. I still have worries, and wonder if I am doing right. Time will tell. there is a difference in comfort level at this age and I see changes taking place all the time. I believe when kids grow up a certain way, they dont think its odd, because they dont know anything different.<p> If I woke up every morning and placed an orange on the table.. chances are she would think every morning when you woke up.. you should put an orange on the table. <p> ITS late I probably dont make sense, haha but I think what you do is the only answer, because while it may be a little confusing.. by adding that name on the end you help distinguish the difference. Because as you say H will always be daddy.
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Joined: Feb 2002
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MoF, Thanks for your reply. I know that it is an unusual situation and I try hard not to call either one daddy in the presence of the other though I know it will be much more difficult to do once my D starts talking. As with everything else I just do the best I can and hope for the best.
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Joined: Mar 2002
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she can say daddy, so it will happen and we as adults will have to deal with it. <p> My biggest concern is OM is so gaga over her now, He wont let any one else handle any of her care when he is around, he cooks for her cleans for her changes, bathes her, and performs all the task at hand that I do, It is a great way for them to bond, But mY husband has never helped with house work, or bathed a baby or changed a diaper, and I fear this will change there relationship and he will lose in the end. I try to encourage those things, but he never did any of that with any of the children. He helps once in a while , but less as time goes on and OM knows this because he knows my husband.. And he works twice as hard.. I think sometimes it might just be some sort of jelousy on his part. I pray we continue to work on it. I wish you luck as well, I know this is hard. you have given me a lot of courage.
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