My H has a "friendship" he says with a women that he has known for about 6 years. At one point he said he had more feelings for her then just as a friend. That was some time ago. Then I found some pictures (of him spending time with her). I found them on our anniversary. Our anniversary has never meant the same to me again and I am having a hard time dealing with that. I have asked him several times to end the relationship as it is having a very negative effect on our marriage (which is already in serious trouble). He did for awhile, but has again been talking to her. I have been in counseling for depression for 6 years and I am very lucky that with lots of hard work and the right medication I am able to lead a good life now. My H was very supportive through all of this. Now that I am better he is having a hard time adjusting to the new "me" and has started to talk once again to this other women, saying she is easy to talk to. We have discussed it at counseling and because it did stop for awhile I was finally able to start forgiving him for it, but a few weeks ago I know he called her again. Now I am not sure what to do anymore. I am also going to marriage counseling to try and work out our marriage - he doesn't go. I am in the process of typing up an email to let him know he has to make a decision - either come to marriage counseling with me to try and put Us back on track and to also stop corresponding with this other woman. Any other suggestions as to what I can do???? I did not read anywhere about "friendship affairs", which my couselor said this type of "friendship" is, which can be just as devastating and harmful to a marriage as an intimate affair......

Welcome. How I understand your feelings about this "friend."
See if you can find the book "Not Just Friends" at the library or on the internet. It's a very recent book. It goes into the Emotional Affair.

I too am seeing a shrink, and I take meds to cope with the situation of being married to a husband who back in '98 told me he'd never loved me. This followed a roughly 2 year "best friend" EA with a woman he worked with.

The damage a friendship that becomes more important than the marriage to one of the spouses is really bad. You feel like someone scooped out your insides and left you empty.

Read everything you can here on MB to understand what you're up against. Talk to people here and think about what you're going to do to fight for your marriage (if that's what you decide to do.)

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