My h is involved in a *friendship* that I know is an emotional affair. He calls her his best friend. They went several times on day bus trips with coworkers.4 mnths ago he went by car with her alone and didn't tell me about it. Their reason, I would get mad. They take break together almost daily. I found her vac. sched and weekly sched with her days off circled in his briefcase. I no longer let him go on bus trips if she is along unless I go. She says she doesn't want to go if I go. They share very personal info about each other and she is aware that I don't like her because I feel she is a threat to my marriage. H has admitted she told him she knows he has feelings for her. They share a locker on the work floor and he has his own office. About 5 mo. ago I began to think somehing is going on. H says they have never kissed or embraced, I believe him. However, I know that to him that means there is not a problem. I called her and told her she was the reason we were in counciling. She angrily stated they are just friends. Maybe to her, but to H it is an important friendship that he is not willing to give up. Please give me feedback. Is this an EA? How do I handle it? Yesterday I foung a note to her saying Happy 41st birthday, I owe you 41 lottery tickets. He signed it Love ya. When I confronted him, he was sorry I found it. He didn't want to hurt me. He said I give my best friend gifts, why shouldn't he. My best friends are female and I never tell them love ya. Please give my guidance. Finding that note is almost the last straw. It really has me devestated. He sees no problem with the relationship except that I don't like it

bmarrowt,<p>Well, from your description, this is definately an EA. I don't have any concrete advice here, but we are mostly dealing with a child born of a PA on this particular spot on this forum. I would recomend re-posting this to the General Questions II portion on this forum, and you will get much more advice. I'm not trying to run you off, just re-directing you to the better area for your situation.<p>Tigger

I dont mean to alarm you, but my gut instinc would tell me there is more to this than you are seeing, dont go in with blinders on.
I am not saying all A are the same, but I can tell you when I had one, we worked together, we had the same days off together, including when he worked over time, he made sure, I had to work as well, we took trips, he incorporated me into every aspect of his life as his best friend.
WE had dinner together every day, we worked a lot of nights as well, and took all our breaks together, in fact we spent about ten hours a day just with each other, sometimes more.
WE made each other so available to the other person, that I had become his entire life, his time spent with his wife, was to tell her, she was crazy.. I was his best friend, get over it, needless to say it turned into a very long ordeal and we now have a child together. <p> You posted under pregnancy /child. are you pregnant?
You need to put a stop to this friendship at best, if it isnt an PA then it will head that way in time. Try and get your husband to see this, maybe read about plan A on this site, it is very interesting and can be applied to many situations.
Stand up for your self and always trust your gut instinct, I find we are usually right when we do that.