I am hoping someone can help me...My husband has cheated in the past (8yrs ago) and a couple of times before that (that I am aware of). The time 8 yrs ago was a doozy (that is a very long story, so to keep it short he really screwed me and our children over). Now he is gone with the military and he was home on leave not too long ago, while he was here we bought him a new wallet. While going through his old one there was a list of all his passwords to emails etc...He has told me all of his passwords so I assumed he really had nothing to hide, except there were some passwords that I did not recognize. When he cheated 8yrs ago it really messed my head up, I was a wreck for several years, I don't want to be like that again. All I know are the passwords but what the addresses are I have NO idea, any way of figuring out what they might be? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated! I could go on for hours about things he has and hasn't done to make me think he may be cheating again, and it's not just sex either, I worry most about him giving his heart to another woman since that's basically what he did 8 yrs ago. I would love to share the rest of my story, but like I said it's very long, if anyone is interested in hearing it let me know, I have wore out everyone elses ears, they probably would rather not hear it anymore.

Please tell me your story as I would like to hear it and it might help you to talk about it. ##Here is mine. Dating 18 years, married 8 years. Just had a kid - she's one. Discoverd him cheating recently, he says he never meant to leave me (as did the OW as she is married) but I think he is in love with her. He says it has been going on about 3 years (I had to force that out of him as initially he said it was a brief affair) I found out after discovering that they have a place together can you believe that. They have a small house about half an hour out of the town centre which they have decorated alike it's home. I know because I have been there. This I found out when mail to them was accidentally sent to his office address and I was in his office.

He tells me it is over but I don't think so. Initially he told me that family is very important to him so he broke it off with her but I think he is in love with her and would leave me and everything to be with her if she agreed. He is physically here with me but I think his mind is elsewhere. I ahve always thought we had a loving relationship but I guess I was wrong. we have been together about 20 years - how do I get him back or am I misreading him. SUrely he should more of an effort to win back my trust and show me he loves me - what do I do?

I know that you are afraid that he is cheating again, and maybe he is. You say your husband is in the military. Is it possible that some of these passwords are military related and therefor confidential?

As a state employee myself, i have to have passwords to several different accounts or sites or applications, and my husband is not to know anything about them. I'm also not supposed to write them down anywhere, but it is hard to keep them all straight.

Would that be a way to ask him about your concerns? maybe he needs a better way to keep his genuine work related security more secure?

I, too have been cheated on. I do no longer trust my husband, and so i really do understand your concerns. but passwords may not be the litmus test you want to use.