This Dr. and his family were in your exact situation. Hope someone in here is from Tenn. ALL children must be created equal, no matter what birth order (Babstr this could help you most)<p>http://family_court__reform.tripod.com/articles/HotNews/tenncsdecision.htm<p>I will continue to look for more information to pass to you ladies.<p>Melissa [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Hmmmmmm,<p>that link didn't work.<p>Go here,<p>http://family_court_reform.tripod/Articles/HotNews/index.htm<p>then scroll down to "Child support declared UNCONSTITUTIONAL in Tennessee" and click on it.<p>Melissa

How come my links aren't working?!<p>Darn it. Sorry about that ladies. I hope this one works! This one I copied and pasted from his email! Click on it and scroll down to "Child support guidelines declared UNCONSTITUTIONAL in Tennessee"<p>
http://family_court_reform.tripod.com/Articles/HotNews/index.htm<p>[ May 21, 2002: Message edited by: mshermi ]</p>

OK,<p>The third one works. I am so sorry for all these posts, you all must think I am nuts LOL [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Melissa

mshermi, Makes me wanna live in Tennessee....I may forward it to Ohio representatives, but I doubt if it'll do any good.<p>Thanks for the link.
Debi

I do live in Tennessee!!!<p>And with us beginning ttc again soon, we may need this information in the future. <p>My stepson will be 18 in Dec and Lil Bit will be 1 in July. Maybe with this information we can protect our future children if the need arises!<p>Thanks Melissa!!!

Melissa,<p>thank you for that information. I read all the articles there concerning child support. It really makes me cry and cry. Like I have mentioned before, you have more rights and less time if you commit a murder or a rape in this country. <p>I have never said that support should not be paid, but fair support. And it breaks my heart that my husband's actions have put myself and my children in this prison also. That even in the event that my husband DIED, I would be responsible to pay the support. For all of those who look at this from the mother's point of view think about that part. If I divorce I pay, if my husband died, I would pay. How is a system who claims to care for the children, only care for those who are born outside a marriage? I am just hurting. Thank you for the information. I just wish I had the funds to hire a lawyer. I just keep praying that within the next 14 years, that my children will also be taken into consideration like the oc. <p>babstr.

babstr,
im sorry for intruding on your thread, but are you serious? where you live, if your husband dies you still have to pay child support to a child that is not bio yours? if that is so than there is something major wrong with the system where you live. that is terrible
fh

full house,<p>Your not intruding. Yep, it is pretty standard. That is why alot of the men have had to make sure to have a separate life insurance. We haven't been able to afford it. But the child support still has to be covered. They literally say that death does not exclude you for providing for child support. So I need to get a policy that right now is worth $110,000. Now my husband only has life insurance worth $200,000 through his job. So I would be up the creek. Since we don't own a home, the hope is that his life insurance would be enough for me to get a home, and stay at home till the kids were in school. <p>Also if you don't have the insurance to cover the child support, they will challenge the estate, or my life insurance. So you also have to write out that the oc is not included in a will. Another thing we don't have. She would obviously get social security, and can get his military retirement, but could challenge everything that would legally go to me. <p>On the site divorce net, they have a lot info. Here is their answer to paying after death. <p>11) Does death of a parent terminate support?
NO! The support obligation may be enforced against the parent's estate, or modified, revoked or commuted to a lump sum payment. How much child support is likely to be awarded? Child support awards are to be determined by accommodating the needs of the child with the available means of the parents, the priority and paramount concern being not the convenience of the parents, but the support of minor children. <p>By the way we get slaughtered on the college issue. Here is what it literally says about continued support after age 18! By the way read the last line, about how once again children outside of a standard family have MORE rights. <p>6) May child support continue after a child reaches the age of majority (18)?
YES. In Illinois, adult children (over the age of 18) have the right to continued support for education, to finish high school and attend college or trade school, or if they suffer some impairment as a result of which they cannot support themselves. In the matter of a college education and post-childhood support, children of divorce have greater rights than those of in-tact families.<p>Illinois is one of the screw the non-custondial family as much as possible. Also one of my favorite quotes with Illinois.<p>35) Does an increase in the supporting parent's income always require an increase in child support?
A substantial increase in the supporting parent's ability to pay will support a petition for increase on the basis that the child is entitled to live a lifestyle as close as possible to that which he or she would have enjoyed if the parents had not divorced.<p>Everything in Illinois law is written as if there was a marriage, and a divorce. But my children are the ones who don't get this fair treatment. they also wouldn't take into account if the OW married a wealthy man. But if I have a job with a lot of income they will include mine. Nice situation don't you think?<p>Do I sound upset or bitter???<p>babstr.

babstr,
you should be upset, i do know here that they do consider the joint income of both families. government is really screwed up, all children need to be taken care of, but it should never be that one child is worth more than another, and that is what they are pretty much saying when they disregard the whole picture. i am really sorry.
fh

Mshermi,<p>Thanks again for another great link.<p>You never quite introduced yourself... Please take a moment to tell us your story, and how you became such a FAIR C.S. advocate/researcher.<p>Looking forward to getting to know you,
Z.

Zebrababy,<p>Your welcome for the link. <p>About me, not a whole lot really. No story to tell. I am a happily married woman (2 years in August)with an exwife to contend with. My DH and I just had a beautiful baby girl (picturetrail.com/melissahorrall)to add to our brood. His exwife is a greedy you know what, and I have made a vow to fight for what is right ( have managed to get her $ down to $248.00 per month, sorry but after her share of support that she is supposed to provide, she shouldn't need more, and nobody is going to tell us that our dd is not worth as much. That pisses DH off)and fair so I scour the net finding everything I can about child support. I got interested in Ivillage and stumbled upon this site about a year ago and have been here everyday since then to read your stories. I just absolutely hate what these courts are doing to your families. I have become involved in fathers rights organizations, anything that has to do with cs, I have my nose in it.<p>I am not in any of your positions, but I care about you all and this just sucks. Babstr's position brought out my hound dog instincts again, so I am on the prowl. Now that I know she is in Ill., I'll dig there.<p>Babstr, have you guys thought about going to court pro se?<p>I have told my husband that if his ex tries again for more $ and gets it because her and her dh just built a new home, I will sue the state of Indiana, declaring it unconstitutional against our dd, dh is all for it. Nothing to lose.<p>You ladies are all so strong and you inspire me. I don't know if I could hold up like you guys do.<p>
Thats me in a nut shell<p>
Melissa [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Melissa,<p>When the judgement first came out, we went to a few lawyers. They told us basically that we should be happy that she wasn't seeking the two years back support and didn't ask for health insurance. That we were taking a huge risk going in front of a judge who thinks these two things should be standard. And because we weren't being asked for that than we should smile and pay the amount. <p>We had to pay an amount for one of the lawyers just to get a meeting with him. No one wanted to fight for us because my h doesn't want any visitation. Most feel that is there only leverage to lower the child support. Because society thinks my H is a sob, than we don't get any help or sound advice. I just keep praying that the ow won't sign off on the review. At divorcenet where I listed that other information, they claim that the woman has to show the increase. But once again because the ow went through public aid, they will push and do whatever she wants. She knows all of our information we have none of hers.<p>I requested could we have proof of what she was going to be doing with the child support. Public aid said they didn't have time to check on those things. Basically just like those articles said we are at the mercy of the system. once someone yells it is for the child's best interest everyone clams up. I also don't like that the ow in my case gets 20% for each child although she is supporting two children. According to the law two children equal 25%. But because she has different fathers for her kids she collects 40% child support. But if I leave my husband I only get 25%. So what it costs her more money to raise her two, nope. The system really almost encourages behavior that doesn't promote the family. No marriage, multiple children, equals more money. Try to have a marriage, two parents, less money. I just don't understand how anyone could think that works out to be fair. <p>One of my good friends doesn't even get 20% for her child, because her ex wouldn't hand over his w-2. but because they had to hire lawyers and work it out between them, there was no government influence. <p>Sometimes I think if I could talk to the ow, and we could have lawyers, than she would agree to a more reasonable money, or at least discuss it. She told me when the order went through the first time, that she only needed $250 a month, she got $600. But because public aid has their hand in there, we can't do anything without their permission. I will tell you that the case is in Illinois, but we moved. I am always afraid that if I give out too many details together she might trip upon this. Who knows it is a public site.<p>babstr.

babstr,
I have felt the same about not giving too many details. It's creepy to think about XOW invading "our space," taking away from us again. <p>Most probably know this, but I want to remind everyone that it only matters what state the custodial parent (XOW/OC) lives in, the state the court-ordered support goes through. Unless B's XOW moved too, still use ILL law. <p>Following this info. closely,
J

babstr,
I am in WI. I used to live in IL. I grew up in IL and I have family there. My brother got a divorce in IL and he only has to pay around $850 a month for 4 kids.<p>O.k. I have a question. If paterinty has not been proven and my H dies can OC get anything? I mean if OW finds out and wants social security benfits or heritence? We have three kids together. So, can they use one of our kids to find out if OC was my H. You guys are just scaring me.<p>Dawn<p>[ May 22, 2002: Message edited by: Dawn71 ]</p>

Babstr,<p>Don't give up hope. <p>I went to a website, I didn't realize Ill. was so bad. I am going to dig around and see if there is a loop hole somewhere. IN the meantime, you and DH should really join a fathers rights organization ( almost all are free)via the internet and start learning from them how to represent yourselves in the court room, how to file for a reduction because of extinuating circumstances (2 children), learn about filing an appeal on your own for the next time they take more money, file on the grounds that it is harming the children of the marriage, there is no equal protection for your children. These fathers groups will tell you everything you need to know to do this, they will even hand you the forms you would need. They are a huge, huge help. In the mean time, I will find out as much as I can. These guys don't use family lawyers for the very reason you can't get one. It is all one big circle of filth, pretty much. They can help if they want to, they just don't want to help change the standard operating procedure. Every now and then you can find a good family lawyer who knows the system sucks and will stand up and fight them.<p>Is the ow still in Ill.? The oc is older than your DD right? If she only needed $250.00 per month, how did it go up to $600.00? Dept. of Social Services get involved? SOunds to me like you all could have come to an agreement at one point in time, until the state stepped in. Is she on some kind of public assistance? Maybe she will do the right thing and not ask for a review, who knows tho. <p>I'll let you know of anything I find that could be of help to you, and I am FREE [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I am thinking to, that the whole idea of stepmom having to support the oc in the case of death could be fought and won. The state cannot force anyone into debtors society whom doesn't owe them anything. You did not sleep with her and create a child with her, they cannot force you to financially be responsible. I know they say so in ink, but you would win that one. Another thing, do a will. You can get forms over the internet to do this and work with a paralegal to file it.<p>Well, my liyttle needs me, I stop for now.<p>I'll be back.<p>Melissa

One last note. even though the court order papers are not consistent with how my husband's employer pays, we would have to travel to Illinois to get it adjusted. So twice a year she gets an extra $300, which they give her. They claim if we want to send extra money than that is our choice. Even though I have told them over and over, you are the ones who control how much money is sent to you. She has received an extra $2000, because of late paper, wrong papers, and mistakes between offices. But instead of us getting credit, we would have to once again hire an attorney, and take her to court to get the money back. That is why we are screwed. we can't even get help getting money back that she was never supposed to have. And we don't have anything extra to give to attorneys. Once again thank you for all the help.<p>babstr.

Melissa,<p>thanks for sharing your story. It's awesome you are out their fight for what's fair. I wish I had more time to research and learn.<p>Keep us posted on any new developments.. And good luck with your personal fight!<p>Z,

I want to get this straight. My husband had an A which resulted in a child. Because I live in Illinois my husband has to provide the child 20% of his pay, health insurance and they are also entitled to monies even in the event he dies and if he dies, I have to pay his child support for a kid that doesn't belong to me and my 3 kids are not represented at all because we are still married? And Illinois will consider my income in all of this?

Crying,
If your kids were born before OC then I belief that they will take them into account and CS will not be 20% . I will definetly seek out a lawyer and ask them.<p>
Dawn