My W's friend has recently separated from her H. She now goes out every Friday night to a night club and encourages my wife to go with her for company. My W goes with her and she enjoys it. They have now become friendly with a bunch of guys and meet up with them each week. I am now starting to get worried. I worry that my W will eventually become involved with one of these guys. I have talked to her about it. She says they are just friends and i should'nt worry. I can't stop worrying though. I want her to stop going out but i seem powerless. I can't just ban her from going out, i'm sure that would have an adverse affect. She say's that she needs to go out with her friend to support her through her separation. I'm just going with the flow at the moment. Can anyone offer advice?

TryingHard,

well, I would suggest going out with them next Friday. if you have kids then find a sitter. that way you could assess the situation and put your mind at ease. who knows? you might like the other guys that they meet up with.
you see, I had a similar situation with my wife. she took a job from 4pm-1am so we wouldn't have to find child care. she would ask if she could hang out with friends after work. this continued and she would talk about them all the time. I finally started to include myself with her friendships. I met with her co workers and it turns out that they were all guys. I started going out with them all together, which seemed to put my mind at ease. but she continued to go out afterwork every night. I just couldn't go out with her everynight because of work. one saturday, she told me that she was going shopping alone all day. she said she needed some time alone. well, I had a hunch and I drove by the OM's house. she was there. Although I didn't catch them red handed, I can't help to think that she was cheating on me. my point to this long story is to squash this situation. if it is important for your wife to go out on Friday night then go with her but don't let her go alone. this is just MHO. so take it with a grain of salt. Anyone else have an suggestions for TryingHard or myself?

Well, this sitch is a bad one for sure. Your marriage is in trouble (like you didn't know that.) But other than locking your wife in the cellar, you can't "make" her stop what she's doing.

If your wife's recently separated friend were going to the gym, or church, or something wholesome, and needed your wife's company, no problem. But you don't hang out in a bar unless you're hoping to get something started. And a married woman has no business going to bars without her husband.

Wassabi has an original solution, and I like it! No matter what it costs to hire a sitter, if you can go with your wife (or join her later) do it. Don't drink alcohol though; drink non-alcoholic beverages. If the place has a cover or a minimum, order whatever you need to to keep the waitress happy.

Why no alcohol? Because if the others are drinking, their inhibitions and their reactions are slower and poorer. You won't lose your temper if provoked, you'll be Mr. Class. Be courteous to the men who your wife drinks with, to a point. Ask your wife to dance, tell her she's beautiful and smile into her eyes. If she behaves inappropriately, say so, if conversation becomes raunchy, "I don't like that kind of talk" will assert your opinion.

Kill them with kindness. Do nothing hostile or aggressive. But be a very real presence.

Your wife should have no reason to object to your presence with her and her separated girlfriend at the bar with the other men. After all, they're "just friends," right? She wouldn't do or say anything with these "friends" that she wouldn't do or say in your presence, right?