For anyone who was not posting over the weekend and did not get to see the CM thread before it was removed from the board I will tell you what happened. Gemini1 totally and completely behaved like a spoiled brat child. She said things to Mom of Five that went way over the line and were completly uncalled for. That thread should NOT have been removed so that everyone could have had the chance to see this with their own eyes. There is NO excuse for the way she behaved and I don't think even an apology would cut it. I,like MOF, know that me and my H will be fine. There will always be the wrinkles that need to get ironed out but having to deal with people like gem1 on this board makes it not worth looking for help here. I don't feel bad for myself. The only person I feel bad for is the H of gem1. He has to live with it everyday. Everyone else here(for the most part anyway) take care.

WIB,<p>I just said my "official" goodbye to Momof5. I feel terrible that she got beatup over the weekend, particularily on a "CM" thread and by gemini, no less. I would guess she started a new thread where she attacked me further after she didn't like my response to her very insulting post to me. (if she didn't like it, she should have realized I don't want to know her and don't want to hear about her whining, blaming OW for her husbands affair and OC) She attacked me on friday on Fluke's thread because she didn't agree something I said. She has repeatedly lashed out at me in the months I have been here. It is sad because I'm guessing she started a thread directed at me and Mom came long in her usual well mannered way, to lend her very needed and welcome perspective and Gemini reacted to her the same way she reacted to me. (see fluke's thread)
Anyway, it doesn't much matter now that both you and Mom are leaving MB.
I wish you well WIB, you have given me some great advice and I want you to know that I appreciated it.
It is a real shame that someone like Gemini, who will be around here lurking as long as she blames OW for her husbands A and child, can be empowered to push two great people off, you and Mom. People like her will stay here and try and spread their pain and bitterness. She doesn't want to heal, she wants to hurt. I guess she thinks we all should feel as lousy as she does. She feeds off it.
I agree, WIB, I feel sorry for her poor husband. If she treats him like she treated people here who aren't in her very shoes, then he'll have many more affairs I'm sure. And she'll continue to blame someone outside of her marriage, for all her problems, naturally.
Take care WIB.

Didn't see the argument.<p>One thing: Don't go.

WIB,
I am sorry that you are you leaving. You have been a big help from the other point of view. I missed the drama this weekend. The moderator probably removed the threat because of the harsh comments. I believe that is his job. Too bad he did not see it earlier. I believe gemini and gemini1 are two different people.<p>Dawn

[QUOTE]Originally posted by 2long:<p>Neither did I. I wish I had. A thread started by gemini named "cm". I wish I had been around to support Momof5 who was, as I understand it, attacked personally. <p>I know what it feels like. The person in question attacked me with what can only be described as a incredibly stupid comments. It is not possible to have a rational discussion with someone who first, attacks you for your opinion, especially when your remarks were not even addressed to them, and secondly, when the person says things that are off the wall stupid.
I don't know what was said over the weekend, but in light of what she said to me, I can understand why WIB and Mom want to get away from someone who demonstrates themself as truly ignorant.<p>(Gemini and anyone else involved, should have had their account disabled rather than 2 wise women leave here by the way, moderators).

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by CMiranda:
<strong>
It is a real shame that someone like Gemini, who will be around here lurking as long as she blames OW for her husbands A and child, can be empowered to push two great people off, you and Mom. People like her will stay here and try and spread their pain and bitterness. She doesn't want to heal, she wants to hurt. I guess she thinks we all should feel as lousy as she does. She feeds off it.
I agree, WIB, I feel sorry for her poor husband. If she treats him like she treated people here who aren't in her very shoes, then he'll have many more affairs I'm sure. And she'll continue to blame someone outside of her marriage, for all her problems, naturally.
Take care WIB.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Cmiranda<p>While I understand your bitterness at having Mom of Five unjustly attacked, you did not see the thread and thererfore should not use this forum as an excuse to counterbash Gem or anyone else just because you see an opportunity to be self righteous or judgmental. Only Mom of Five, the attackee, has the right to comment directly on this.<p>It appears this situation is being used to bitterly reprimand and "tell off" someone else which is no better than what Gem alledgedly did.<p>EVERYONE should check their "bitterness" at the door and do not use other people's situation as a means to take advantage for one's OWN self satisfaction.<p>Let's not stir this pot up anymore than necessary.<p>Catnip =^^=

WIB<p>I hope you will reconsider and stick around. As with many others here, I did not see the thread, but it sounds like Gem was out of line and this needs to be straightened out.<p>Gem<p>I am confused with what happened and why...and, Gem, if you're out there, please explain what the problem is...there are some members here who are leaving because of this. We can't have that and I can't imagine that Mom of Five could have done anything to provoke an attack. Could you please clarify?<p>This needs to be addressed and settled without disrespectful judgments, smart remarks, name-calling, sarcasm and fighting amongst ourselves.<p>CM<p>And, I am sick to death of hearing the word "bitterness" slung all over the place as a button pusher...knock it off. It's manipulative and used to death. Please. <p>Catnip =^^=

Catnip,<p>You are responding to my farewell to WIB. I'm not using that goodbye as a medium to bash Gemini. I'm pissed off that Gemini started a thread for me, which I didn't show up for, and the result was 2 wonderful, very needed people here at this site, have left.
Its one thing to have a help group. Where all people with similar problem can band together and pound their clubs until they feel healed. This is not a site exclusive to BS's. I will get more information from MOM about the infamous CM thread where she was attacked, but if people here think this is a site only for BS, then they are wrong. That is why I'm bitter. Gemini doesn't bother me. I feel sorry for her. I'm angry that someone with her mindset chased off 2 intelligent, well rounded people who I personally valued. They helped me alot and they had alot to offer many,many people here.
I didn't see the CM thread. I don't care what Gemini had to say at all. But I know what Gemini said to me on friday. I'm not looking to tell her off, I wasn't even looking to hear from her. She had a few very insulting comments directed at me that were just plain stupid. I am pissed that she spread her bitterness and attacked good people. I'm entitled to voice that frustration.<p>I've done that and now I'm off to try and contact Momof5.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by catnip:
<strong>WIB<p>I hope you will reconsider and stick around. As with many others here, I did not see the thread, but it sounds like Gem was out of line and this needs to be straightened out.<p>Gem<p>I am confused with what happened and why...and, Gem, if you're out there, please explain what the problem is...there are some members here who are leaving because of this. We can't have that and I can't imagine that Mom of Five could have done anything to provoke an attack. Could you please clarify?<p>This needs to be addressed and settled without disrespectful judgments, smart remarks, name-calling, sarcasm and fighting amongst ourselves.<p>CM<p>And, I am sick to death of hearing the word "bitterness" slung all over the place as a button pusher...knock it off. It's manipulative and used to death. Please. <p>Catnip =^^=</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Catnip,<p>I'm sorry that you don't like the word bitterness. I didn't know that it was a "button pusher" for you. But your knock it off demand seems say that hate the word bitter.<p>I use it when I see it fitting. And bitter is what Gemini's remark to me was. I call a spade a spade. I won't apologize for being honest. Its not meant for you. Just like BS's using calling OW sluts, tramps, isn't actually directed at me. I don't see anyone telling them to knock it off.
When Gemini told me to Keep the kid, she'd sue for usaage of MM sperm,e tc, no one said she was pushing buttons.
I'm sick of this.

I am only posting to set some things straight as I did read the thread and I am in fact the one who notified Xarelel. It was Gemini1(Debi) who started the thread. After giving MOF a complete bashing, accusing of her of having "OW mentality" among other awful things she then told MOF, and I quote (because I still have it in the email I sent to Xarelel), "Chill and do not comment on whatever BS says. Or leave". She also told her that many of the other "oldies" also felt the same as her even though they don't say it.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by catnip:
[QB].
And, I am sick to death of hearing the word "bitterness" slung all over the place as a button pusher...knock it off. It's manipulative and used to death. Please.
QB]<hr></blockquote><p>If the word fits...use it. In this case that is the word I would use.
I am sorry to say...I was around this weekend and witnessed an attack on someone that was certainly unwarranted. I wont even attempt to try and quote any one( old timers memory setting in). All I can say is it left me with an extremely bad feeling.<p>This forum should be a safe haven for people in pain or struggling with very sensitive issues B]REGARDLESS OF WHAT SIDE OF THE FENCE[/B]you happen to be on.

2 THINGS: WIB AND DOCSGIRL,<p>WIB, I haven't heard yet what Gemini1 said to Mom. I can imagine though. I just want to say thank you for reporting it. I agree, the thread shouldn't have been removed. Everyone should have a chance to see who Gemini really is as she flaunts herself all over this board as real MB. I personally have asked the moderators if and why her account hasn't been disabled. It should be with what I know so far and from what I experienced from her onfriday which was nothing by comparison to Momof5. Thank you again. I do hope you reconsider staying around. I and others like me, need you. <p>Doc's Girl,<p>Thank you for letting everyone know that it's just a word. That needed to come from a BS, because as we have seen, us WS/OW are not really accepted. And this little example shows how that is the case. Some always have their guard up and think we're out to hurt people on purpose.
As you pointed out, we all can learn from eachother and end up better for it. Thanks again.<p>thank youthank you

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by CMiranda:
[QB]
1. I'm pissed off that Gemini started a thread for me, which I didn't show up for, and the result was 2 wonderful, very needed people here at this site, have left.
<p>2. but if people here think this is a site only for BS, then they are wrong. That is why I'm bitter.<p>3. Gemini doesn't bother me. I feel sorry for her. I'm angry that someone with her mindset chased off 2 intelligent, well rounded people <p>4. I didn't see the CM thread. <p>5. I don't care what Gemini had to say at all. <p>6. I'm entitled to voice that frustration.<p>QB]<hr></blockquote><p>
1. Yeah. I am sorry about that, too. You are entitled to be pissed about that.<p>2. Hey! Don't be "bitter"!!! This site was originally for just Betrayed Spouses in the beginning as I requested this site for Betrayed Spouses dealing with OC issues almost two years ago. Just like anything else, it has evolved to include OP's, and as long as they are not OUR OP's, and we know it, and not here to disrupt our site, then there is no problem. So that's how it is.<p>3. These two intelligent people should not give one person who is clearly not herself lately, the power to chase them off. I feel sorry for Gem, too, but mostly I am deeply concerned for the mindset...sounds like she's in trouble to me. I know Gem can get fired up and jump on a bandwagon pretty easily...but, hey, so can I ...so cna a lot of us. Just need to find out what her problem was. Maybe she needs help.<p>4. I didn't either...it shouldn't have been removed.<p>5. I do. It might give us a clue what crisis she must be in. An unprovoked attack from anyone is a violation of this site.<p>6. Absolutely...<p>Catnip =^^=

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><p>1. I'm sorry that you don't like the word bitterness. I didn't know that it was a "button pusher" for you. <p>2. But your knock it off demand seems say that hate the word bitter.<p>3. I don't see anyone telling them to knock it off.

4. When Gemini told me to Keep the kid, she'd sue for usaage of MM sperm,e tc, no one said she was pushing buttons. QB]<hr></blockquote><p>1. It's only a button pusher if the person using it, ad nauseum during every post, is using it to manipulate guilt or shame<p>2. Yeah...I have come to really hate that word because it is used in the most manipulative of ways and also conjurs up images of snarling hateful BS's when in reality it is simply the pain they are expressing...besides, who wouldn't be bitter at times after everything they've endured? It would be unnatural NOT to be bitter at times.<p>3. You're right. Then they should. However, this site was originally intended for BS's to vent and 'beat their clubs' (I like that metaphor) but ANY disrespectful judgment is wrong and I will personally try to watch my P's and Q's when spewing venom against my personal OW and let it be known I am speaking of just MY situation and it no way means any OP here.<p>4. Eeeewwww...didn't hear that. She should probably be more diplomatic, however, there was a time she could say that and anything else without anyone getting upset, because we were all BS's here and we might have felt the same way at tone time or another. We don't want to walk on eggshells or have to be excessively polite about our feelings or apologize for them but at the same time, the site is changing and we will have to be more sensitive to OP's. You OP's will have to understand this and be more tolerant. We mean you no harm...just trying to deal with our pain.<p>Catnip =^^=

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by DocsGirl:
[QB]
If the word fits...use it. In this case that is the word I would use.
QB]<hr></blockquote><p>Point taken...and I agree...as long as it isn't just a way to manipulate others. Guess we have to check our agendas at the door. <p>I gotta go to work now so I hope Gem shows up and explains what put the cat among the pidgeons. <p>Catnip =^^=

Something tells me Gemini aint showing up to explain herself. My heart isn't that big, I don't care what excuses she comes up with to explain away her bad taste. Maybe her friend Ember can shed some light on what went on though.. Probably not either.
Why not let them remain quiet if that means peace around here for a while and hope to hear from WIB and Momof5 instead??

CM, Just let it go if gem feels the need to explain herself she will. I think I read everything that was said. I cant see where it was so terrible. I am sure something is bothering her.
You really have a way of rubbing some of us the wrong way. I usally dont even post to you because of that.