Hi all<p>It has been a while since I have popped in over here. On the GQII section of the forum there is a thread that was closed here and copied and pasted to start a new thread over there. After I replied to that thread I came directly over here.<p>I wanted to say hi [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] and let you all know that this section of the forum and what's going on lately have not gone unnoticed by us very old timers.<p>Much love to all,
Samantha

Hi Sam<p>It's really, really good to hear from you and I am glad to know you oldtimers pop in from time to time.<p>I think because we are a small group over here and appear very vulnerable, we seem to attract an interesting group of people.<p>So far, we have six threads locked...I think its a record.<p>Catnip =^^=

Samantha,<p>"very old timer" checking in AND posting, rather than just reading. [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Yes, I also read here and was concerned about several posts recently. I was maddly searching through my recipe box,,,,just incase!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Catnip<p>Actually I read here quite often, you'd be surprised how much. I started doing that many months ago when all the intruding OW were showing up. Maybe nearly a year now. <p>I don't know for sure if six threads at once is a record or not? I remember seeing many locked before here in a short time, but you're right because these were all done in one mass swoop. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>It always seems that trouble brews on weekends when the majority of the people aren't around doesn't it.<p>I want you to know that many of us very old and old timers have a very special part of our hearts dedicated to you members here. There go any of us but by the grace of God.<p>Speaking of very old timers!( Even older than me [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] ) Nerly so nice to see you! It's been a while since we've been on the same thread. How are you doing and that Hubby of yours? <p>You were on the right track with the recipes. Maybe we should all dig through our boxes and respond like we used to? It sure would give the overworked moderators and administrators here a break. But tell me can we please have a "PARTY" too? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Love to all,

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> It always seems that trouble brews on weekends when the majority of the people aren't around doesn't it.<hr></blockquote><p>
Just to clarify for the misinformed. The "trouble" that was "brewing" over the weekend causing so many threads to be locked was the result of the unacceptable behavior of an "OLD TIMER" not an "intruding OW". Hope that sets things straight.

PEANUT BUTTER BALLS<p>HEAT UNTIL MELTED OR SOFTENED - 3 CUPS OF CHUNKY PEANUT BUTTER AND 3/4 CUP OF BUTTER IN MICROWAVE.<p>REMOVE FROM HEAT AND ADD: 1 BOX POWDERED SUGAR, 3.5 CUPS RICE KRISPIES, ONE LARGE BAG OF CHOCOLATE CHIPS AND STIR UNTIL MIXED.<p>ROLL INTO 1" BALLS AND SHAKE IN A BAG OF POWDERED SUGAR (USE FLOUR ON HANDS TO SHAPE THE BALLS)<p>KEEPS BEST IN REFRIGERATOR OR FREEZER<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] ENJOY!

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by want it back:
<strong><p>
Just to clarify for the misinformed. The "trouble" that was "brewing" over the weekend causing so many threads to be locked was the result of the unacceptable behavior of an "OLD TIMER" not an "intruding OW". Hope that sets things straight.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Clarification in obvious order. Thanks WIB. Seems even old timers get it wrong. None of us are perfect it seems.
See you later..

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>
want it back
Member
Member # 17184 posted June 06, 2002 04:34 AM

quote:

It always seems that trouble brews on weekends when the majority of the people aren't around doesn't it.
<p>Just to clarify for the misinformed. The "trouble" that was "brewing" over the weekend causing so many threads to be locked was the result of the unacceptable behavior of an "OLD TIMER" not an "intruding OW". Hope that sets things straight.
--------------------
<hr></blockquote><p>Want it back<p>I was not misinformed nor did I say that the trouble of the last weekend was an intruding other woman. I simply stated that when intrusions of OW started to descend on this section of the forum about a year ago I started coming here. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] I’m sorry if you took offense [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] to my post, I certainly didn’t mean to offend any member here at this section of the forum. I sincerely meant to be supportive.<p>Please see below: <p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>
a blessed Samantha
Member
Member # 4951 posted June 05, 2002 07:08 PM

Catnip
Actually I read here quite often, you'd be surprised how much. I started doing that many months ago when all the intruding OW were showing up. Maybe nearly a year now.
I don't know for sure if six threads at once is a record or not? I remember seeing many locked before here in a short time, but you're right because these were all done in one mass swoop.
It always seems that trouble brews on weekends when the majority of the people aren't around doesn't it.
<hr></blockquote><p>And Cmiranda,<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>
CMiranda
Member
Member # 18147 posted June 06, 2002 01:09 PM

quote:

Originally posted by want it back:<p>Just to clarify for the misinformed. The "trouble" that was "brewing" over the weekend causing so many threads to be locked was the result of the unacceptable behavior of an "OLD TIMER" not an "intruding OW". Hope that sets things straight.

Clarification in obvious order. Thanks WIB. Seems even old timers get it wrong. None of us are perfect it seems.
See you later..
<hr></blockquote><p>Please see my quoted post above. It “seems” even old timers get it right! [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] You are right! NONE of us are perfect.<p>Ladies I only popped in here to show you ALL that your section of the forum is not ignored and is viewed by some of us members who don’t have issues that pertain to this very section of the forum and it’s very difficult heart breaking situations.<p>I have read all the posts that were closed and believe me it was some “old timers” and “newer members” both who were out of line causing those threads to be closed. Bickering and being mean to fellow members is not going to help anyone out. Both posts you two have written above border on being “bickering and mean.”<p>I have also been surfing all over in the past five or so days and have seen all post written to or about both of you.<p>I don’t mean to seem critical, but some members have noted to you that you both come off like intruding OW. You aren’t that are you? No you’re not! You are two WS who are here trying to recover from a bad situation and time in your life. To move forward and work on your marriage, which is exactly what this discussion forum was developed for. So please don’t react like an OW. Even if that was your role in the past it is not your role now. All of us have made mistakes in the past and will in the future, I am especially including is myself in “All.”<p>You remind me of what my hubby used to say about me when we first got married. “You’re like a cobra ready to strike first. Not giving anyone the chance to get even near you!” He was right, I was. It was a defensive mechanism developed after a horrible first marriage. It was an exhaustive stance to keep up and when I finally let it down I found it was really nice to listen, feel and see all the wonderful people around me. <p>May I suggest instead of jumping up on the defensive or jumping to defend OW who have popped in here and are not trying to repair her own marriage, you listen to the sound advice many people are offering you. On the same token you too have sound advice to give back. Remember I said before I have been lurking and reading. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Seriously ladies, no one here is against you. We are all here for you and anyone else who wants to repair their marriage. We only want to see success in your lives and happiness for your families. <p>Cmiranda,<p>I see from reading you are going on a much needed vacation. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Have a wonderful time and enjoy every minute of it. I pray you all have a wonderful time.<p>Again ladies I am sorry if I offended anybody. That was never my intention.<p>Hugs to one and all,
Samantha<p>[ June 06, 2002: Message edited by: a blessed Samantha ]</p>

A blessed Samantha, I was not referring to the threads that were locked, I was referring to the thread that took place over the weekend that has been removed. Did you see it before it was removed? Probably not. It was not about bickering. It was a total ambush. I have seen my share of "bickering" threads and I try to stay out of them. Granted, I realize that all parties (BS,WS and OP) get involved in that sort of thing but somehow the BSs never get called on it. They are in fact somehow entitled to it. I'm not sure if I've ever seen someone say that I come off like "an intruding OW". In fact the only time I usually get offensive is if someone has attacked me personally. I'd be very glad if you could point out to me just where that was posted. If I am being defensive it is only because I am being put into the position of having to defend myself. Except for my very first few posts here months ago I don't beleive I've ever put anyone in the position to defend themself up until now. I don't beleive I've ever criticized what anyone was doing with their life either. I may have offered advice that they didn't agree with but that is a totally different thing. I also don't think I'm being overly sensitive. If I were that I would have been gone a long time ago.

Want it back<p>Yes I did see that thread and it was totally inappropriate for this section of the forum. This was not an OW who had a child as a result of an affair. It was not a person who was trying to build or rebuild a marriage, but an OW who is smoothly on her way to the total destruction of someone's marriage. <p>I have commented on that thread a couple of times over on GQII but since my first post the OW poster has chosen to ignore my comments. <p>I have very strong views about single OW coming here period. Again only my opinion but, her thread belongs on divorcing/divorced if it belongs anywhere on here at all. <p>I can't really point out where someone was referring to you and/or Cmiranda often coming off like defensive OW. I am old, weary, and I have read so much today. My observation is that when I have read your posts, and I don't claim to have read them all, you seem to be on the defensive and always popping up to defend OW who come here.<p>Single OW who come here, especially to this section causes so very much trigger pain to the BS. I realize you don't totally understand this. I pray you'll never be inside the skin of a BS so that you do understand what I am speaking about. <p>I also think these single OW cause pain for the FWS too. It may not hit them in the gut but it usually insights a need in the FWS to feel defensive and I imagine brings up some old yucky feelings for them to? Possibly it may bring even some current ones to the surface?<p>Again it's just my opinion. <p>All I am really saying is that this is a wonderful place. It can be a part of your saving grace. I pray it will be.<p>Let's agree to meet here again in three years and discuss it again. Okay? [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] If you stick around and are active I'll bet you dollars to donuts you'll have a different view of this forum than you have now.<p>Hugs,

Boy oh boy do you have the wrong thread. It is not the thread that was moved to GQ. This thread was completely removed and it involved MoF, who definately belonged here. You've also got me confused with someone else. Ask CMiranda how tough I was on her when she first came here. I don't think I've ever defended ANY OW who came here. Ask anyone. I don't mean to be rude but it is situations like this where all the facts are NOT known that cause all the trouble. Maybe you should be more sure about what you're talking about before you post.

WIB<p>Okay, I have to tell you that I also read the disappearing thread. I do know what I am talking about. Many people on that thread were out of order, new members and old timers alike. The tempature of that thread was red hot and I bet you that is why it was moved.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Maybe you should be more sure about what you're talking about before you post. <hr></blockquote><p>Okay, now again you have attacked me. I do know what I am talking about, much more than you can imagine. I have spent the better part of more days than I care to admit reading. I am not some feather headed idiot who doesn't care with nothing else to do with her time. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Maybe you yourself should read more carefully before you post. Because lady you have misread Tempest's announcement apparently several times. <p>What I am seeing here is a group of some of the women who post here that are at war. WS against BS. It's all so stupid! Has anybody told any of you that WE ARE ALL ON THE SAME SIDE!?!?!?<p>I'm exhausted. I'm out of here. I think I give up?

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by want it back:
<strong><p>
Just to clarify for the misinformed. The "trouble" that was "brewing" over the weekend causing so many threads to be locked was the result of the unacceptable behavior of an "OLD TIMER" not an "intruding OW". Hope that sets things straight.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>No, this is not so. The "oldtimer" in question had a little bit of a meltdown due to an unpleasant anniversary (you know the kind) and because of "triggers" that were being squeezed here on this site by an OW. Anyway, the bouncers came in, yelled "last call", turned on the lights and locked the door to protect everyone from getting completely out of hand. At least this is what I understand and have been told, in a nutshell. The OW then called for the Oldtimers removal from the site (as if)...I don't think even Betrayeds have ever asked for this except in the case of that BonnieB last year.<p>Catnip =^^=<p>[ June 06, 2002: Message edited by: catnip ]</p>

And that makes what she did to MoF "ok"??? I don't recall seeing ANY OW on that thread. Her anger was greatly misdirected.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by want it back:
[QB]<p>1. I was referring to the thread that took place over the weekend that has been removed. Did you see it before it was removed? It was not about bickering. It was a total ambush. <p>2. Except for my very first few posts here months ago I don't beleive I've ever put anyone in the position to defend themself up until now. I don't beleive I've ever criticized what anyone was doing with their life either. I may have offered advice that they didn't agree with but that is a totally different thing. QB]<hr></blockquote><p>Dear WIB<p>1. I have come to find out that the post in question was not an ambush but a meltdown by someone in an extraordinary amount of pain. Her anger is justified even if her delivery was offensive to OW's. Before there were so many OW's here, we could say all these things while in our pain, to vent, to get rid of it, and no one complained and everyone understood. Now we have to walk on eggshells and see people demanding people be removed because they didn't like witnessing the meltdown.<p>2. You're OK, WIB...what you say about yourself is absolutely true. You have conme a long, long way. These are sensitive issues and remarks and we have to get through this. I know your heart is in the right place. No need to be defensive...we do love you.<p>Catnip =^^=

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> Okay, now again you have attacked me. I do know what I am talking about, much more than you can imagine. I have spent the better part of more days than I care to admit reading. I am not some feather headed idiot who doesn't care with nothing else to do with her time. <hr></blockquote><p>When it comes to me dear lady you DO NOT know what you are talking about. You have accused me of defending OW who come to this site which is an out and out LIE. So you bet your A** I'm going to defend myself.

Catnip, I read the thread. It was not a vent or anger towards OW in general. It was very personal towards MoF herself. I have let many vents about OW in general go by but this DID cross the line. I am done here. It's apparent that no BS can ever do wrong. What happened was wrong. If it can't be admitted to then it WILL happen again and I'm not going to be the one it happens to.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by want it back:
<strong>And that makes what she did to MoF "ok"??? I don't recall seeing ANY OW on that thread. Her anger was greatly misdirected.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>No, it was not OK, if it really was directed at M of F...this is the part that bothers me because she isn't usually like that and personally, I thought she was in trouble and having a tough time. Come to find out that was true.<p>Regardless, it really is too bad M of F got caught in the crosshairs and if she was inadvertantly or advertantly shot at, I feel badly about that. However, we have all been jumped on at one time or another, ambushed and lambasted. When it happened to me, I just mouthed off, then blew it off as emotions run amuck and let go of it...after I had my say, of course. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Sometimes I think the BS's suffering has been so extraordinary that they might occasionally take exception to the remarks made by the FOW's here and see them as their own OW and retaliate. While I can certainly understand those feelings as I struggle with that as well, I also know none of the OW's here are my OW, or at least I hope not...can you imainge what I would do to her if she came here??? Anyway, I kind of understand just generally sweeping through a thread of OW's and just spewing. It isn't really a right way to do it, especially if it hurts someones feelings, but, she probably sees her feelings as being hurt and that she has been treated insensively. And I am sure that she didn't mean to hurt anyone directly...but I can't second guess her right now because I ahven't walked a mile in her sandals.<p>Let's just say it was a bad deal and let's all move on.<p>Catnip =^^=

I think everyone should calm down. Please! This has gotten far to heated and off topic.<p>In advance thank you for your cooperation on this matter.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by want it back:<p>
Just to clarify for the misinformed. The "trouble" that was "brewing" over the weekend causing so many threads to be locked was the result of the unacceptable behavior of an "OLD TIMER" not an "intruding OW". Hope that sets things straight.<p>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<p>No, this is not so. The "oldtimer" in question had a little bit of a meltdown due to an unpleasant anniversary (you know the kind) and because of "triggers" that were being squeezed here on this site by an OW. Anyway, the bouncers came in, yelled "last call", turned on the lights and locked the door to protect everyone from getting completely out of hand. At least this is what I understand and have been told, in a nutshell. The OW then called for the Oldtimers removal from the site (as if)...I don't think even Betrayeds have ever asked for this except in the case of that BonnieB last year.<p>Catnip =^^=<p>
cat nip
I hope this is not reffering to me? I must say I have never asked that any one be removed from anything and certainly never would. I am a big girl just didnt feel I had anything more to contribute and where I was at in my life it seemed to disturb so many. However I am happy I am working on my marriage and will continue to try and rebuild. AND yES i KNOW ALL too well what it is like to be a BS more times than most here.
I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN A MODERATOR about any thing, PLEASE you should know I was not here to cause pain and I do understand how much pain some have. I dont mean any one any harm.. when I first came here I thought there might be someone who could help me work through having to deal with the other man and his wife where my child was concerned, I thought there would be other people in the same situation learning to deal with it all.
I think my situation makes some people here very angry.. but the one thing I have in common is I want my marriage and want it to grow stronger and perhaps prevent this devistaion from happening on either side again. <p> I can merely give opinions to what we have experienced and i have learned. That is all and I HAVE learned both sides, But I have learned alot about the women who have had to deal with OC and I understand how to try and be more respectfull and when XOM wife says something that bothers me.. I have learned to not react. SOMETHING i HAVE LEARNED FROM HERE. Because I see what frustration some of these dear people have to experience while trying to do what they can for their husbands child... I do not want to be that type of women.
TODAY XOM's W called and asked if she could pick up OC and take her home that her husband would not be their till late but she really wanted to . THAT isnt easy sharing my child with her.. and technically they have no rights as we have never been to court.. But I said yes, Because I try so very hard to respect her. I got my little one ready and packed her a bag and off they went, D was thrilled to see her and blew kisses all the way to the car at me. IT was heart breaking, But also great because she is safe and happy with her when she goes and that makes me feel better.
ANY way I dont feel I can contribute anything, but If I see somethig I might be of help I am sure I will post but will stay away from the garbage that sometimes appears from all parties.
But incase catnip someone told you I wanted a member moved you are so wrong.. I have not nor would I. I am a big girl and can take care of my self.
I hope that maybe a few will learn something from me, Not every one has to agree with me.. as you and every one else I can only do what is best for my children and my marriage.
frankly my personal relationship with OP has nothing to do with it That is OVER so i am not AN OW. I am unfortunately an FWS and I will never be in the other position again.
I am married and no i do not have a perfect marriage and it needs work, But I am trying and will continue to try.
I am not a mean person, but do when pushed get angry like most.
I wish every one well including those who disagree with me.
[img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]