WOW, Mina! What a blessing. Of all the counselors in the world, you end up with one who has the same experience as you and has successfully moved forward in her life with happiness!! That is amazing. I'm sure you must feel a little bit better to have actually been able to speak to someone who really REALLY knows what you must be going through. God is so good! He obviously loves you so, so much! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Whatever you decide to do, I know you will be taken care of. This was not a coincident--it sounds more like a God-incident!!! [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]

Mina,<p>For the first time in a very long time, I had tears in my eyes reading a post here. Like BTDT, I think God intervened in your life--to be given the gift of a social worker who had been in your same shoes. I am so very glad that you have found some help.<p>I have felt for a very long time that it might be a mistake not to let your family know what is going on at this time. The Harley's have stated (somewhere in their online material) that we all need the support of our families at a time like this. They even suggest that a BS who moves out go back to where their families are. If WS later moves toward reconciliation then he or she must move to where BS is now living.<p>I know that I could not have gotten through this without my family. My father even drove 1,200 miles to come see me in the psychiatric hospital.<p>Are you and H still together? If so, remember no confrontations--he is not ready and it is not safe to confront him when he is in this state of mind. <p>In crisis, please use the "Good Samaritan" telephone counseling service. You should be able to find them through Directory Assistance. You might also call National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. They have volunteer counselors to help, I think 24-hours per day.<p>(((((((Mina)))))))--seven hugs. One for each day of the coming week. Hang on to your boys, hug them and love them. My boys weren't even adopted yet (but we were in the process) when D-day happened. I held on knowing that they were counting on me to come get them out of the orphanage. You have much to live for. If the Zoloft doesn't work, get back to the hospital for a change in prescription. Be as proactive as you can for your sake and for your childrens'.<p>Love,
MJ

Dear Mina,<p>I firmly believe that God sends angels at certain points in our lives to share messages that He cannot get to us any other way. You were visited by an angel in that hospital.<p>She made it through the darkness and so can you, Mina. But, you can't and shouldn't do it alone. I know how hurt, upset, and embarrassed you feel about this situation. But you have done absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Share the problem with family members that you trust and feel confident with. <p>And as MJ said, please have your medication changed if you don't feel better. You must take care of yourself for your own well-being and that of your children. You are a special person in your own right and you must think of your needs now.<p>Sending you prayers and hugs for support. You are going to make it, Mina. Find your inner strength and your inner self and you will be just fine.<p>love,
heavenly

^^bump^^ to see how you are doing, mina29!?

mina,
what a miracle!! I'm sorry it took so long for me to reply. I'm truly amazed how you were led to this lady... WOW and Praise BE!<p>Amen to what Heavenly said!!! Take care of yourself!!!<p>I hope you and your kids are well.<p>Prayers and Godbless,
J<p>[ June 25, 2002: Message edited by: Jenny ]</p>

Thank you my dear friends for your support and concern.<p>Sorry that I haven't post this last couple of days. <p>I am having very bad days. One moment I am crying another moment I feel so angry.<p>I can't control these feelings. I am taking zoloft, it will take a least two weeks to see any results. I did took zolof back in August of 2001. At that time it did help me. I am not sure if will help this time. This pain is more that I can endure.<p>I am so mad and angry at God, that I did not interpretate as a miracle, when I met that social worker in the emergency room. I have tought about what the social worker told me that day. <p>I wish I had my family support, but they do not leave in NY, except for one brother. I haven't told him about this. His girlfriend just had a baby. I do not want to preoccupied him with my problems. The only person that I can talk about this is my counselor, and you my dear friends.<p>mina

Dear sweet Mina29,
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I am so mad and angry at God, that I did not interpretate as a miracle, when I met that social worker in the emergency room. I have tought about what the social worker told me that day. <p>I wish I had my family support, but they do not leave in NY, except for one brother. I haven't told him about this. His girlfriend just had a baby. I do not want to preoccupied him with my problems. The only person that I can talk about this is my counselor, and you my dear friends.<hr></blockquote><p>First off I'd like to tell you this is not God who did this.
I have to tell you I also blamed God and asked "WHY?"
At a time when I wanted to bury myself after giving wholeheartedly 26 plus years of my 47 years I couldn't for my beloved son of days short of his 21st birthday, who "stayed strong" for Mom...suffered a mental breakdown! And could not quit crying for what his Father did. Did you hear me? His Father did. <p>God did not do anything. HE was there throughout all of the insidious hospital visits where H said son should get over it and handle it. HE was there when I'd cry out at night asking "WHY?" Why did this happen to our common family? Why did my son's 21st birthday have to be so RUINED???????<p>Why did our priest say he [son] was faking to h?
I'm being deposed at this very time to expose priest and all the bad he did to our fragile lives at the time. He was a fraud seeking and helping h and ow behind my back in reference to oc. Had birth announcement in OUR church bulletin as if ow and H were married. Ow name/H/name parents of oc...I wanted to die, Mina, die.<p>My son was so messed up he cried for days on end.<p>I wanted to cry also. I did in private. <p>I kept my faith in Jesus.<p>We are good humans.
We don't make such dangerous mistakes to ruin everyones lives and want them all to continue as if nothing more than a wrong dinner was sent to you from a restaurant menu.<p>Your h is with you for a reason. As hard as it may sound, it may be because he finds a sense of comfort with you and your home.<p>He may not be able to distinguish between happiness in the true sense or fantasy in the wrong sense.
That is his wrong sense Dear Mina.
If you want to be with him find a way that is pleasing to YOU.
You put up with the utmost humiliation a human married can go through.<p>You needn't put up with more.<p>Do not blame God.
God continuiously calls us home, yet we don't hear Him.<p>I above all else hear your cries.
I was in that only spell where no one could consle me and the one that could was so wrapped up in oc, he forgot how happy I made his life.
OH!!!!!!! He remembers now. Praise God, he remembers now.
He remembers comfort of knowing we'll always be there for each other.
He remembers the god-forsaken nights he spent away from home thinking about what was most important to him.
He remembers the LIES ow spoke to him. Lies he may or maynot have spoken to ow.
He always said he'd never leave.<p>Your H must have said it too.
When it comes down to brass tacs...everyone wants the comforts of what they've spent years to accomplish. BS, WS.
They are happiest there.
The op is a symptom of their faults.<p>My son has recovered and he and his wife have given us a beautiful healthy granddaughter.<p>THAT is God's miracle to us.<p>Ow CHOOSES a rotton fatherless life for oc when she beds with a married man and expects an Ozzie and Harriet life for oc w/o MM consent.....
IF MM wants his former life [as most do].<p>I guess what I want to say is pray for God to show you the path you should take.<p>Trust Him and you'll know.<p>Patience is a virtue and you are a prime example, Mina.<p>Peace and prayers and love
Debi<p>[ June 27, 2002: Message edited by: gemini1 ]<p>[ June 27, 2002: Message edited by: gemini1 ]</p>