O.k. so I have been reading some of these posts and I guess it is time to tell my story.<p>My H and I seperated last year in Feb. due to his taking up drinking. A couple of months later after filing for DV because he was not responsive to anything but alchohol, I found out he was living with another women who had 4 kids already.<p>He did contact me drunk frequently trying to tell me that he loved me and couldnt understand why I was keeping our daughter from him. (even though I wasnt - he just wasnt making an effort)I know he didnt come around because he felt extremely guilty for his actions and didnt want our 2 year old to see him the way he was. A couple of months later he was thrown in jail for DWI and took that time to get his life together and give it over to the Lord. He cut off all contact with OW and continued to try to build our marriage back to something. I was very stubborn and continued with the divorce until the very last minute. <p>Anyways, we ended up reconciling and he has been sober for a year now. We go to marriage counceling and he is still very active in his faith. <p>The problem is that the OW just had a baby boy in
Dec. that she says is his. Yesterday we went and he had the paternity test done. So we are waiting for results. <p>I am not sure how I feel. I love my husband and know that we are going to have a great marriage. How can I accept this child if it is his?<p>Is it o.k. to ask H not to see baby? I so desperatley want to keep OC best interest in mind but I am embarrased, I cant even imaging going somewhere with this child and having someone ask who's it is. I realize that we were seperated at the time but it still hurts deeply. I know that he hasnt had any contact with OW for a year. Should I try to talk to her?
Help!!<p>
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resolution?<p>It's "OK" to ask your husband anything. It's not OK to demand it, or use angry outbursts or disrespectful judgements during the asking (all lovebusters), but marriages work much better when both spouses are completely honest with one another and use the Policy of Joint Agreement to negotiate solutions to their issues.<p>You have a lot of issues to deal with. The first, however, is to wait and see whether the child is his. If it's not---you're off without too much pain. If it is, you and your husband will have to discuss various options (no contact with OC, contact mediated through you, divorce, etc) in a respectful manner and come up with a solution that appeals to both of you. If you can successfully apply the Policy of Joint Agreement to this issue, it's an excellent sign that your marriage will be successful in the future, becuase you won't get a tougher test on learning to negotiate to a win-win situation.

I just have to say one thing...YOU have nothing to be ashamed about and you should hold your head up high, if you have the child with you or not. <p>If you have a alot to offer a child and can handle the emotional part of it, by all means be a step parent to the child, many here find that difficult , but it can be done, the most important thing is for you and husband to present a united front. on what ever decision you make. <p>if you have been readng two peope just found out the child was not their husbands... so keep the faith,, you may not have to deal with it after all.

Thank you so much for the responses. It helps to know I am not the only one.