We have been married for 10 years. We have had great marriage until 2 years ago. We were remodeling our house and I asked her if she had anything going on with our contractor. Of course she said no but for some unknown reason I wasn't satified. I kept asking about him.
I thought we were past this conflict, but know she is telling me that she has fallen out of love with me. She says that I broke our trust.

I know I was wrong. I never knew how I much I hurt her until know.

I quess my question is for her. How can she forgive and trust me again. We have 3 wonderfull children and both want our marriage to work.

You would get more action on general. Anyway-I am not sure about your story-are you the WS or is she?

I am 4 years out of my H's affair. I still hurt everyday, but we have a great marriage. I live with the knowledge that my H threw us away for OW. That she meant that much to him and that I meant that little to him. The damage to my self esteem was great. I am a strong person and can deal with the above, but sometimes it hurts. I think it helps to understand what the other person (wife) is thinking and to acknowledge their pain. You can never reassure them enough of your love. You won't hurt her if you bring up the subject of the affair-it hurts more when it is ignored. If you are the WS, think of what it must feel like to be the BS-so unimportant that your spouce risked it all. So easily replace by your spouce-kind of like a used tissue-thrown away. That is how she feels, so you need to rebuild her trust and confidence. My hubby has done his best, and I love him for it, but it takes time. Best wishes. Jersey Girl

One more thing-read surviving the affair and his needs her needs by Dr Harley. Very helpful and I give you tons of credit for being here.

My husband and i have been together for three years and married for over a year, we are both young and have moved twice. We are in a transitioning period of our lives right now. But my struggle is with finding my husband attractive. I have dealt with this since we have been together. I love him more than anything and he is truly my best friend, but he has severe acne and he has a pale complextion. I am actually a model and want the same appearance back, and place a high need on feeling those "butterflies" and passions for my partner. and most of the time i dont. I really dont know what to do about it, but it constantly gets me down becuase i focus on it so much. If anyone has some advice that would be great! Thanks