My H is in medical residency. He is almost three years through a four year program. When we met he was the most warm, loving, sensitive man I have ever seen. We met in his first year of Medical School, six years ago. Since then, each year he has become more removed and distant. He is now completely withdrawn from me. He says he feels no emotions at all -- but I know he has some because he laughs and has a good time with his friends. He just has no time for me, and he when he does, he wants to watch a movie and call that "good time together." Well that time is good, but certainly not enough to meet my needs. Because he is withdrawn sexually as well, I have asked him if there is another person involved. He says no, but my gut says something is wrong. Because this situation feels unusual due to the stress residency places on a family, I wonder if I am paranoid and I wonder how to fix it. He doesn't think he has the time to make things better right now. [LIST]

Hi Sally-Yes the signs are there. I am sorry, but it doesn't mean it is over. My H had an affair 4 years ago, we are together and things are now going well. Very well.

I'd post on general if I were you, you will get more help there or in just found out, but start with general.

Trust your gut.

OK, start with plan A, read the general welcome too.

There is a great deal of temptation in the hospital, I've witnessed many women throwing themselves at residents in the hopes of a free ride. Your hunch is on target. You need a plan A-read surviving the affair and you need his needs her needs. You also need to spend 15 hrs together a week-something difficult for residents to do.

Thanks I will post in general. I think I am in disbelief because I don't have any "concrete" evidence. I definitely need help and will post to general. Thanks for the advice.