I found out that my h got another woman pregnet. She threatened an abortion if he did not leave me. he told his parents and they think he should go with the baby. We agreed we wanted to stay together. OW decied to have the baby no matter what. H and I want to work things out and try to help out with the baby. I am willing to be a step parent if it means staying with the man i love. The main problem is that his parents want (well pretty much demaned) he leave and go with the baby. I think i am stupid and selfish to stay and he is even worst. They do not even want to see him anymore if he does not leave. The other bad thing is OW talks to H's mom. OW has turned mom against us. His mother fully support ow and does not care about h or his family. i am so hurt. i dis not do anything wrong. she only cares about the baby. she does not even care about her own son! he is willing to help with the baby but just not leave. OW parents do not even know she is having a baby. let alone with a married man. she is 22 and still lives at home. part of me wants to call and tell them but i do not want to interfere. What should i do? i have not told my mom ow is keeping the baby. she thinks she got rid of it. i am not sure how to tell her.

jen,

well, my W is currently pregnant with OM's child, and my sister is a stepparent for OW's child in her M, so I can speak with a little perspective, even for a guy.

Your H needs to make a stand, either with you or with OW, but he can't have both. if that means he has to give up parental right to OC, then so be it.

If H loves you, then it doesn't matter what anyone says, OW, mother, whatever. it's the 2 of U in this M, and that's all that matters. That's what M is all about, leaving the overwhelming influence of parents in exchange for always standing by your S. If he won't do that, then maybe he's not made up his mind yet, or he doesn't care enough to try.

that's my reader's digest version reply. Off my soapbox now.

Me - 28
WW - 27
M - 5 1/2 yrs
D - 5 yrs old
D Day - 2 July 02

"Love is a choice. Go home and love your spouse."

jen,

I'm sorry for your pain. Your H's parents are out of their heads. You can't change other people. CS is right--your H either sticks with you and your marriage (like God intended him to) or not, parents or no-parents. It's hard, but it's life.

IF DNA proves your H to be the bio-dad, ch-support is mandatory, and then it is up to the two of you by mutual agreement to decide the extent of your involvement with OC; again, regardless of his parents, though you may have to take their insanity into consideration of how involved you want to be. Meaning, if being involved with OC means constanting being berated by XOW and/or H's parents for the decision to keep your marriage, you may have to decide against seeing the child for sanity's sake.

The marriage has to come first or it won't survive.

IMO, Prayers and angel wings,
J

jen100

sorry your still having troubles, I dont think this should be an issue, if your husband is old enough to be married.. what his parents say and do about anything should not really matter.. when you marry, you leave your parents and make a new life. If your husband loves you and wants to stay married, then he will and he will tell his parents, he loves them, but they have to respect his decision and if they cant, he is sorry, but his priority is to his wife.

Sometimes we have to stop being around people who are hurting us, even though we love them.

Telling her parents is not your place and in time they will notice if she has not already told them, Most parents stick by their child reguardless of the situation. She is 22 and telling them is not going to change the fact that she seems to be having a baby.
You and your husband have to present a untited front, do what you need to do for the baby, and work on your marriage, and dont worry what every one else says.. They will only interfere if you let them.

A great thank you to each of you. it is so nice to hear from people who understand me. i thank God everyday i found this site. i will let you all know what will happen. H and i just got home from a great evening of traveling and being together. Thanks for all of your advice and encouragement