Oh, she makes me crazy. I can honestly say that i hate her. I don't hate anybody, but I really hate this woman. She has never had a great relationship with my husband (he is one of four.) She hates me, but we used to get along. Right before we got married she started treating me like crap. She is terrible to my family, friends, whomever.
My husband knows the way she is, but says nothing because, 1. she does not care, and 2. it is his mother and he can't change her. It is causing strain on my marriage. We have only been married for four months. She didn't talk to either of us a week before we were married. She made me miserable that week and I wound up with an ulcer and in the emergency room because I didn't know what was wrong with me.
At Thanksgiving she ignored me and if I would walk in the room she would get up and leave. When I say I did nothing to this woman, I truly mean that I did nothing. She has multiple personalities. She talks to my husband now, but not me. I don't know what to do. If I bring it up to my husband he gets defensive because he knows how upset I am and he can't do nothing about it. I will not spend X-mas with her. I absolutely refuse. I will not be treated the way I was treated at Thanksgiving. My husband was not at Thanksgiving, he was out of town so he did not see what happened, and I have not mentioned it to him. Should I? Someone please help before I burst.

Steph,

Gone through the same thing with my in laws. In the Recovery posts is a thread titled " putting spouses first " Feel free to add to that one. Recovery gets more traffic then here.

Steph,
I hear you Ihave the same issues with my mother in law, she will do anything for her son but as far as me she hates me when we were dating she loved me said i was the best thing then when she realized she lost control of her son, see my husband has four other kids with another women that they were not married but she will do anything for them, the oldest grandchild is her pride and joy and honestly he is the worst one, she hates my kids because they are mine, but the funny part is that when they want something then i am gold. I spent thanksgiving by my self while he went to his mom's with the kids, the quite time was nice but i was bored. My husband doesn't see what she does only because if he sided with me then he would not get money help from her, but she has made him so mad that he didn't talk to her for 4 months because of things that she did say to me, he never believed me but one day the answering machine didn't turn off and he finally heard it for him self. I told my husband we have been married for 10 years together for 12, that once you get married the parents are on the side lines, I hope you can stick it out, good luck

Steph,
I have been married for 2 1/2 years and haven't had a good relationship with any of my in-laws because my psycho mother-in-law and I were in an argument. I think that my in-laws really would do whatever they had to just to get their son to leave me or to get me to leave him. Lucky enough we both know this (even though I don't think he'll admit to it) I am a very family oriented person and hate the fact that I don't get along with my in-laws, however I am determined not to let it affect my relationship with my husband (although it does get shaky at times) I have just began to expect each day with the in-laws to be worse than the day before and with each day I know that God made no one perfect and all good things are worked out thru him. I pray constantly that he'll heal our broken relationships in his time I also pray for protection for the kids and the in-laws as well as me whenever I have to go around them and that certainly seems to help. Good luck in your journey I’ll keep you in my prayers

Dealing with in laws is never easy. I know that in my situation my wife has an uncommonly strong bond with her mother. While I do get along with my inlaws, it can be very difficult to deal with.

I know that when we lived closed to them, I would suggest that it was fine for her to visit as long as I did not have to. This unfortunately turned into an arguement.

The one thing that I would suggested (I did this by the way) is to tell your spouse how your in law makes you feel and that the situation is not acceptable when you feel like you are being put down or take advantage of. (In my case, my wife was constantly providing economic support to her parents, brother and sisters)

It was not until that she realized that this was effecting our relationship that she understood why I did not want to constantly visit.

Hi all

I posted a topic entitled "A rant about my mother-in-law" in General Questions II.

Lots of love