Just had to share this incredible news with someone who can appreciate the ramifications. The XOW called my H today to tell him that she has moved from within a few miles of us here in New England, out to Idaho and she got married!!

Since we have no contact/no visitation, there was really no way for us to know about this new development in her life. The XOW has been on state aid since OC born five years ago and I know it was due to run out (if not ended already). Not that it matters, but the XOW latched onto my H when she was divorcing her H and was looking to line up someone to support her and her 2 daughters. She told my H about the pregnancy when he ended the affair (out of guilt and because she seemed to want more than just fun & games). I'm sure it was no accident that because of my H's salary, he pays over $1200 per month for one child, while her XH pays about $600 for his 2 daughters.

She called today to give my H her new address and also said her new H is considering adopting OC and what did he think? He said he was happy for her and the OC and said he would have no problem going along with adoption -- that he would not stand in the way of them being a family. I agree.

My question is about the adoption. If the OC is adopted, does that mean child support ends? If anyone has any information, I'd appreciate it. [Somehow it would seem too good to be true if CS ended!] At least, XOW and family are now hundreds of miles away. What a relief that it.

In most states you can only end child support if someone else is willing to step up to the plate.
I think it is wonderful for The oc and OW. If there is a man out there wanting to love a child and be a parent to the child, why not go for it.
A blessing for you yes, But a huge blessing for that child. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

st,
If exOW's new H is willing to take the responsibility of adopting the child...
the answer is a resounding

YES!!!! Child support from the non-custodial birth parent ends!!

I have researched this over and over.

Once the non-custodial parent signs away their rights and the child is adopted by the custodial parent's spouse, the child support ends.

I have a stepson who's mother wanted her new H to adopt my ss... but my H didn't want to give up his right to his son.
And now with Lil Bit, the table could be turned in the other direction...
I would adopt Lil Bit in a heartbeat!
Thereby un-hooking the "ball and chain" from exOW's neck, so she may be able to "Live her Life."
(her words not mine)

Prayers for you and your H!

MOF,

I agree completely -- they are very fortunate to find someone that wants to be a family with all of them.

Maybe I sounded harsh, but as an explanation (not an excuse), my H just started a new job after 12 months of unemployment. At first, H didn't want to go back to court to get CS changed, because he assued he would get another job soon. Then 9/11 happened and month after month went by with no job. My H received only about $2,000 per month in unemployment benefits, of which over $1200 of it went to CS. While I work, my income could not cover all our expenses. By the time we were desperate enough to want to go to court to get CS adjusted, we didn't have any money for an attorney (that the Child Services Agency said was required). Luckily, my H got a job in a nearby state. He's earning $20k less than before, but it's a job!! We discussed going to back court to adjust CS (which was based on his old income), once we got on our feet again. In the meantime, we've been paying the agreed upon amount each month as we have all along.

So maybe I was excited about the CS going away, but, yes, I am also glad that they'll be a family. My husband wished her well and in my heart of hearts, I do too.

I dont think you sounded harsh I truly think it is a blessing for both.

Stilltogether, I am so happy for you. I hope this does occur, and OC is adopted by new husband.That would be a blessing for all.

On my good nonvindictive days, I pray that OW will find a new mate who will adopt OC. I pray daily for that-not so much to get rid of the CS, although ours is higher than yours, but to rid my family of this awful mess and connection with a woman who participated in ruining my life. I will hate that always, and pray daily she moves on in her life, moves away, and gets a husband. I hope my OW does the same one day. Good luck to all of you.

I'm thrilled for you! It is great that OW/OC/ and new Hubby can get to be a family!!! It gives me hope that in our situation that it could happen for us one day...not that we want to get out of our obligation, but that OC deserves to have a full time father in her life. They can be a family unit.

Man....this is like the summer of good news in some parts.....send some of those vibes over our way...we could use some more good news!!!!!

Hugs and prayers for you, and please keep me posted on how the adoption goes etc. I am interested.

Twiisty

My Gawd...you're all a bunch of saints. Personally, I want to get completely out of any child support whatever and have the OW pay me for the privelege of having what is rightfully mine and to pay me punitive damages for pain and suffering. And make no apologies for it. Hahaha & Meow

But, in your case, stilltogether, I am absolutely thrilled for YOU first and foremost, as it should be...and THEN I am thrilled for the OC to have a daddy and a cohesive family.

A hearty and deeply sincere Congratulations and Best Wishes, and I am completely delighted another Betrayed has been blessed with a reprieve from a life condemned to extortion.

Catnip =^^=

ST,
I really hope this works out for you guys. Sounds like you really need to catch a break on the financial front. A question though:

The xOW sounds like a bit of a gold digger. Why would she willingly give up $1200/mo?

For your sake I pray that the new H makes boats loads of money or is too prideful to have another man supporting a child that is undr his roof.

Realistically though it kind of doesn't make since. It sounds like she was just jerking your H's chain. Even if my worst enemy was sending me $1200/mo I don't know that i'd be so anxious to give that up.

Sorry to be the voice of doom. Like I said, sounds like you guys deserve a break.