Well,
I wanted to let you all know…

The hpt was negative. I took 2 just to be sure. I tested on Wednesday, but went to visit my family and waited until now to tell you all.

On the bright side,
My next cycle started on Thursday, all on it’s own! No extra meds to force it!
So, we are now in the middle of the next cycle of fertility drugs!

H is so disappointed that we didn’t get pg this time.
He was so excited… strangely; I think he was more excited than I was.

Thanks to all for the well wishes…

Now, I ask that you to pray for us again…

May the Lord bless us, with a child of our Renewed Marriage!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As I have said before, we really have such a hard time with dealing with exOW.

Wednesday at the exchange, we were preoccupied with getting everything ready to go to MS…
We didn’t notice until after we were on our way… that Lil Bit had a fading black and blue bruise on her forehead above her left eye. The mark was about 3-4 inches long and about ½ an inch wide. It looked like it could have been a finger mark. Also on the right side of her face was a red handprint. Much bigger than Lil Bit’s own hand.
We didn’t have a camera handy… and we were on our way down the interstate. So, needless to say... the only witnesses were H and myself (both red mark and bruise)… and my family (bruise only).

We have finally decided to buy a Polaroid instant camera. I had suggested this when we discovered the small round bruises on her back… Now, that this has happened… H now agrees it’s the only way we can have instant proof…
It is obvious to us that it is going to take Lil Bit getting hurt badly before the court system will do anything.

Speaking of court, we have not heard from our attorney. She hasn’t contacted us since the bloodspot incident in Lil Bit’s eye. I am afraid that we may have to get another attorney.
Anyone know of any Barracuda Attorneys in Tennessee?? <jk> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
I hate this “Hurry up and Wait” Court system we have!

Thanks for letting me vent…

I am sorry your test was negative, but with such a positive attitude you are sure to have good news soon <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Having a camera is a good idea, taking her to a dr is a better idea.
Toddlers fall so becareful what that you dont think a fall off her riding toy is a bump someone gave her. Could back fire on you.

If you have not heard from your attorney, get a new one and fire that one.

As far as the state goes, you would be amased at what it takes to convince them. My daughter's bio mother pulled her hair out, broke her arm, left her alone for days at a time in a crib, and the state tried to make her a better mom for 2 and half years... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> In the mean time, the sweet baby, was abused in many many ways and given back or taken away to nine different homes before we learned about her and took her in.
The state does not always care as much about the children as they do their paperwork and money they receive.
I am not saying all state workers are bad, there are good ones and bad ones, but sometimes their hands are tied.
SAD FOR ALL THE CHILDREN

Just keep doing what your doing, make sure little one is safe and secure and happy when you have her. If it was meant to be it will be.

Thanks Mo5....
I know that making accusations could backfire...
That is why we haven't accused anyone...
we are just curious as to what these unexplained marks are on this little girl.

My biggest problem from this last week,
Lil Bit wouldn't go to sleep without me holding her. She would scream, blood curdling screams, if I set her down in the crib. H even tried to comfort her... but all she said was MamamamaMommy... So I took her and automatically she was quiet and drifted off to sleep.

I first thought it was because the bed was not her bed at home... but when we got home and it happened again... I became concerned.

She has never done this before. She will cry when she fights going to sleep...but not this blood curdling sound!

Maybe I am over concerned... but I don't think so... too much about exOW worries me... Her attitude on Wednesday night, the fact that she wouldn't get out of the truck (handed Lil Bit out the window!) and the quick way her mother drove out of the parking lot that night.

Call me an over-protective Mommy...

As you know, exOW has a history of domestic violence...
We found out recently that there is someone that had witnessed her beating the boy that was removed from her custody, just about the time that it all that happened.
She told H that exOW beat him, while he sat in his carseat, for 5 min about the head, shoulders and face!! All the while, the witness trying to pull her off the little boy!!!!
All because he was crying while she had been outside the car giving some guy a b*** j**!!!

Really Classy, Huh???
(Where did H dig her up??? UGH)

It's times like this, I fell so angry at H.
I asked him if he fells guilty for placing Lil Bit in this possibly dangerous situation...
He can't/won't give me an answer!

Toddlers sometimes have night terrors it is a common child hood thing to happen.

I'm so sorry, Stacia...I'll pray for something "Positive" to come from your upcoming Thursday cycle.

The evidence you have been finding is so alarming to me, I urge you to write child protective services and copy your state and county government officials and the police if you truly suspect this child is being abused.

This must be so upsetting for both you and your husband.

Prayers for protection and comfort...and success.

Catnip =^^=

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Stacia_Lee:
<strong>...Really Classy, Huh???
(Where did H dig her up??? UGH)

It's times like this, I fell so angry at H...
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Pray for xOW and I will too. She needs someone to pray for her. Sounds to me like the baby might have fallen and bumped her head--but kinda hard to do when the baby is not walking yet, huh? The red hand print could have been a slap? The screaming at bedtime sounds like the baby might have been traumatized and not yet over it and afraid to be alone.

Another thing that I was wondering is do you think perhaps LilBit was crying for her bio mommy??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Well, the bright side is one day LilBit will have a voice to be able to tell you exactly what is going on in her mind and verbalize her fears and trauma.

I wish you all God's best in trying this month for a positive HPT.

<small>[ August 12, 2002, 12:18 AM: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</small>

Hi,
I've seen your posts before and I am impressed with your love and concern for Lil Bit.

To the comment on "night terror" I dealt with it with my oldest. I don't know if it is different with other children, mine didn't have blood curdling screams. He just cried and cried, there was no consoling him. They are sleeping when they do this, so they cannot be consoled. You have to keep them safe until they stop on their own or wake up and stop. Since mine was a toddler when this occured and was walking, I would have to hold him, so he would not walk into anything. He would struggle in my arms until he settled down. Lil bits settling down when you held her and screaming over the crib, is cause for alarm in my opinion. How old is she again?

Since xOW has a history of abuse, and it does not sound like she has gotten help for herself, I would suspect that you are right to be concerned. Have you contacted child protection? What does it take to protect Lil bit, if her safety is at all being compromised?

Hang in there for Lil Bit, she needs a loving advocate such as yourself.

Thank you, Sue.

She is 13 months old.

As far as night terrors, what we are dealing with are not terrors.
My niece had night terrors from 18 months all through her toddler years,
she is now 8 and N-T free. I have dealt with N-Ts through her.
Her Dr felt that the trauma from my sister and BIL's
separation and divorce were the basis for the N-Ts.

What Lil Bit was doing was refusing to go to bed.
She was fine during the day when she would take naps,
but as soon as it was night time and time for bed,
she began this screaming when placed in the crib.
She would even fall asleep in my arms, then as I
placed her in the crib, she would wake and begin screaming.

BTDT,
as far as her crying for her biomommy, I doubt it.
She will reach for me over H's shoulder at the exchanges.
During these bouts of crying, I will try to let
H handle them if he is there.
But when she is crying "mamamama-Mommy"
and reaching for me... I know its ME she wants.
The "mommy" is exclusively me. ExOW calls herself
Mama... so when Lil Bit throws Mommy in, thats me.

I look forward to the day that she is able to vocalize
what is happening. Yet, I am afraid too.
My mother gave me a book to read, A Child called It.
I am terrified to read it after her description.
My fear is that one day, Lil Bit will tell me
all that may have happened to her.
I know that much of my apprehension is my own
imagination...
but my only concern is Lil Bit and her well being.
I want only for her to be safe and happy.
That is my daily prayer.

Ooooh, okay, I gotcha (mom-my)... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I think that is a great prayer and I am in agreement with you. I believe God has listened to your concerns and He is faithful to watch over our little ones...

Hi Stacie,

Much of your concern may not be your imagination. Babies don't scream blood curdling screams for no reason. Babies have a sense of night and day. Especially when daylight, is naptime, darkness is bedtime. It makes me wonder if something happens at bedtime that terrifies her. (I hope I'm an over reactive person her). However, given xOW, history, I doubt it.

Does you attorney recommend you contact child protection or does he recommend you keep documenting these situations? If so, has he given you and you H any idea how much more this needs to happen to keep her safe (assuming xOW is causing this)

I will pray for Lil Bit, she deserves a happy life.

Thanks again Sue.

Last night was her first night back home with us.
She has been taking her naps in our bed during the day
as H has watched her every day this week.
He cannot get her to go into the crib whatsoever, now.

Last night, she fought going to sleep in the crib.
I let her cry for a little while, but couldn't take
the screams.
I brought her into our room and let her lay next to me.
She was very still and quiet. We both fell asleep together.
I woke in the middle of the night and moved her to the crib.
She was asleep so deeply that she barely knew she was in the crib.

She was still sleeping when I left for work this morning.

I hope that we can get her back to being at ease in her crib.
She has never had this problem before.
Even when we moved apartments, she did perfectly.

We did get the camera.
Our attorney did tell us to take pictures of any
suspicious marks. She also said if it was anything
major to call DCS. But after the way DCS treated us
over the last time, H is leery of calling them again.
BUT, if there is another mark such as we have seen in the past,
DCS and the police will be notified.

Thanks again everyone.

Stacia,
I just thought of this. Maybe OW would leave her in the crib for hours and not go get her when she was crying. Maybe she is afraid of the crib because she has been left there all day.

Dawn

Dawn could be right.

What happened the last time you called DCS? It is their job to check into this stuff.

The last time we called DCS the baby was 2 months old.
H was watching her everyday back then so that ExOW could work and not have to pay for daycare, as he is now.
We had been having tremendous trouble with the baby coming every day and not having been bathed and having feces crusted within her privates and within the folds of her skin in the diaper area.
H called DCS and the caseworker that came to check out the baby was the very same caseworker that had removed exOW’s 4 ½ yr old son from her custody.
The child had been beaten with a chain dog leash. ExOW told investigators that she had done this horrible thing, then when told she would be facing prison time, she laid the blame on her then boyfriend. Currently the exBF’s case is in the hands of the Grand Jury.

Anyway, exOW’s son was removed from her custody for ‘Failure to Protect’ and placed in the custody of exOW’s mother and Grandmother, where he is to this day. He is now 7 yrs old.
Because of her knowledge of this woman and her son, the caseworker claimed that she was not going to take chances with this little girl (Lil Bit).
She went and had a long talk with exOW and they entered into a “Safety Plan” which would place the child in a SAFE place while the investigation into the referral (call from H) took place.
The safe place was with us. There was court scheduled on the following Thursday, this all took place on a Friday, and the CW said that Lil Bit would stay with us at least until the court date. She had stated that exOW was “TRASH” (direct quote) and she should not be allowed to have children in her presence until she straightened out the problems that cause her to bring harm to children.
Well, on Sunday the CW called and said, “The mother is no long comfortable with you keeping the baby. Bring her to the office.” They took Lil Bit and placed her in exOW’s mother’s home. ExOW then moved back in with her mother. Her mother had KICKED HER OUT before the baby was born, because she was not going to raise another of exOW’s kids.
We searched through all the DCS policies, which so happen to be accessible to the public ONLINE, and were completely unable to find where it was a part of DCS policies to allow the person being investigated to live with the child that was allegedly abused or neglected by them. (Our lawyer was livid… she was even more amazed that I had found the DCS policies. She had no idea they were online and was rather proud of me.)
The CW was totally out of line to allow this to take place, even the Judge made the statement IN COURT that this was a rather strange placement and the FATHER should have had the child NOT the grandmother.
The CW completely did a 180 on us. She changed her story… made up things that NEVER took place. Used exOW’s accusations about H and myself in her petition, even allowed exOW to keep Lil Bit away from us for a month… It was DCS Legal that actually forced exOW to abide by the Parenting Schedule that was established by the Judge. Up until that point, we had 4 counts of Contempt of court on exOW and her mother.

We had attempted to have this CW taken off the case. But that couldn’t be done.
Finally the case was closed. The adjudication came back that “The child HAD been at risk of abuse and neglect at the time of the petition. All accusations made by the mother against the father and stepmother are unfounded.”

That was basically all that was said. DCS is no longer involved with this case, but the case involving exOW’s son, is still open.

As you can see, H is rather leery of DCS. Especially if they were to send the same CW.
She doesn’t like us… We showed her the policies and asked her to show us where ExOW had the right to change the Safety Plan. She refused to show us. She said that she knew her policies and she didn’t have to explain anything to us at all.
UGH.. Don’t father’s have any rights????

Anyway… that is the Last time we called DCS.

<small>[ August 15, 2002, 07:28 PM: Message edited by: Stacia_Lee ]</small>

Oh my

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The CW was totally out of line to allow this to take place, even the Judge made the statement IN COURT that this was a rather strange placement and the FATHER should have had the child NOT the grandmother </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I was going to ask about this. I thought the father has the right to the children when mom is not ablet to take care or are found unfit. Not mom.

You know, I think the CW is wrong. I don't think the xOW is allowed to live in the same home with a child that has been removed from her, even if it is temporary. CW is trying to cover her butt, she knows she messed up.

You probably don't know this, but why does first child live with Grandma and not dad? He should have custody, unless he is bad too or didn't want it.

Since this CW cannot be trusted, if you need to make calls to DCS, always involve the police, so it is documented by them also. You can also take the child to a Dr when warraned, and they have to document. That way, it is not just your word agains CW.

Normally I do not believe what I am about to say, but because of women like xOW, sometimes I wonder if mandatory sterilization is not in order. (I know, this is not right. Anyone who could hurt a childe just makes me see RED)

The father of the boy took off when he found out that exOW was pregnant.
According to what I have been told by H, exOW was married to him. I don't know if she ever got divorced or not.

The father pays no CS, has no visitation... has absolutely no contact with exOW or her son.

ExOW is supposed to have "supervised visitation" with the boy, as charges are still pending on HER for the abuse of the boy as well.(All that hinges on the outcome of the case against the exBF.)
Yet, her mother and grandmother allow her to take him unsupervised ALL the time.

During the A, she would take the boy to see H at his place of work. He works 3rd shift, so the boy was being carried out at 2 and 3am to visit with H.
She had even told the boy that H was going to be his Daddy.

Our lawyer is now in the process of trying to find out of the Supervised Visitation has been lifted, which we all doubt.

Heck, she even brought him to the exchange Wed night.
H said she was trying to show him that she, her son, Lil Bit and H could all be a happy little family if he would just leave me.

I was thinking that... but it was H that actually called it like he saw it, and when we got home he hugged me and told me how much he loved me.

It sure is nice, knowing that no matter what cards exOW plays.. H is seeing her for what she really is.
Manipulative.

Her Mother and grandmother are violating the terms with the child. Boy, what a piece of work they are. They should not have custody either, they care more about her than his safety.

If the Terms of the Supervision has not been lifted, what does that mean with regards to the boy or things for you with Lil Bit. Other than they have total disregard for court orders.

That boy needs to be placed in a home where they will truly love him and protect him.

"H said she was trying to show him that she, her son, Lil Bit and H could all be a happy little family if he would just leave me."

OH MYYYYYYYYYYY. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> What a sick woman and mother. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Stacie, as you sound Christian, I feel free to recommend a Christian book I've enjoyed: "Mending Your Heart in a Broken World" by Patsy Clairmont. It's a study of Nehemiah, and describes the ways evil attacks us, and what we have to "combat" it. It really helped me after I got a very nasty email from XOW, as this book's description of Satan's ways completely dovetailed with her twisted words. Reminds me very much of your XOW. What she is doing is evil and wrong. I hope justice ultimately prevails for the sakes of these children.

Prayers,
J
in recovery 4 years and glad <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />