These are the link to the rest of my post so I won't loose anyone. PLEASE DISREGARD HTTP FILE CAN'T BE LOCATED.

Here it goes after 2 yrs of living with OW in another state, my husband has started calling me.

They recently broke up, so he iniciate the contact. I was surprised, because he was saying all the right things like...( he knows I'm a good person that's why he married me)... (He still has love in his heart for me)... (Forgive him for being so ignorant).

These are some of the things that was said to me.
I read the do's and Don'ts that was posted in this thread last night. I saw the wrongs that I did through out his contact.

The only thing that I honestly changed was my anger but the being anixious, chaseing, possibly being needy. I did this things since he has contacted me.

Even though it may have messed up my chance to reconcile our Marriage, there were things that I felt deep in my heart, I needed to say only because he had no contact w/ me or my family he acted as though we didn't exist. I couldn't understand how a person could be so cold.

I realize now that relationship talks talking adultry or quoting scriptures were all wrong I didn't know that before.

I thought it was ok to discuss those things, because he listen. I didn't say it with anger and he finally told me my faults. One of my faults were he said... ( me jumping to conclusion without hearing him out.)

Another thing he said was I was always right never wrong, and I could be very mean in the way I say things.

I know I wasn't suppose to do this, but I called him about 1:00 am he wasn't home and I called him 9:00 am this morning I know that's a no no.

My reason for calling him last night I just wanted to talk, my call this morning was to inform him that OW called me but she slammed the phone in my ear.

I feel it in my heart it was her, because the call came from the state & town she reside in. I allso called him to see if he stayed out. I'm just being honest.

I know I screwed up, I haven't talked to him but it still makes me seem desperate. I'm going through feelings of failure, do to my self
and the feelings of not being loved. I feel as though he's gone back to her.

I feel what she took him through was worse
compared to me, but he loved her enough to invest
in the relationship with her. OW also uses the baby to get next to him.

A baby that OW trapped him with. We all believe that the child is not his, because the dates don't add up. OW also told my husband the baby was premature, because OW knew that his family and I knew the dates didn't add up.
The baby weighed 6pds 5oz at birth which she said was premature.

I can't even compete with that so, I'm going in the dark, I allways felt,I never got what I wanted. I looked at myself as a failure.

The pain is not as great as it was 2yrs ago that's a plus but it hurts a little.

Just needed to vent, and get honest with self
any feedback please feel free I'm open.

I'm so glad, I found this site that deals with
infidelity and OC from spouse affairs. I thought I was alone for a minute glad to know I'm not alone.

<small>[ October 16, 2002, 12:33 AM: Message edited by: MALC ]</small>

hELLO,
Sorry to say welcome! This web site is a great place to vent.

How is your marriage going? HAve you read the priciples on this site?

Dawn

Hi Dawn

Thanks for taking out the time to read my post.
On other sites my post would lay doormaant because the members wasn't going through what I was going through.

My H and I are still separated,We just started communicateing about three wks ago, After H. & OW
broke up, he lives in another state.

Now OW just married someonelse the other day, because My husband wouldn't come back to her. He's going through alot of emotion right now. H. doesn't know what he wants to do. I tried to tell him earlier a woman that cheats with him will cheat on him he didn't believe it up to now. I told him this woman was no good.

The only thing I can do is be a friend and not crowd him. Even though he has hurt me tremendously, I don't want to see him go through this, only because I know how devasteing the pain can be because I felt it myself going through my own delema.

I also mention there is a child. I feel it in my heart this child is not my H. child. OW is so vindictive. I'm even feeling his pain.

I would like to know, do I act as if, just sit back and let him initiate conversation with me.
I've never gone through anything like this before.

Oh, were do I find the principals on this site? I did alot of reading on this site. I may have missed something.

any suggestion please feel free.