DUH!!! It just hit me! OW's H wants a divorce and doesn't want to pay child support, but he's saying he can't get a divorce unless Breanna's H is paying CS.

Well, let me run this by y'all...maybe OW's H figures that having her call Breanna's H and telling him that she wants CS, then Breanna's H will insist on the DNA test and PAY FOR IT!! Geez, it seems to me that maybe OW's H just doesn't want to have to pay for the DNA test!

Breanna, I'd still sit still and let OW and her H do whatever it is they're gonna do.

Ohbratti,

Your stab is right on the money. Unless someone else steps forward, he is considered the legal father. Breanna's husband is off the hook so to speak unless he comes forward and initiates a claim of paternity himself which is probably what the ow and her dh are trying to get him to do. Her dh has probably been told this and he is looking for a way around it.

I stand by my advice - DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING!

I know it isn't fair to her dh but who knows, maybe this will help them stay together and try to fix their marriage and hopefully remain a family and raise those oc themselves. A little time with the oc may open his heart and accept and love them.

Breanna,

I guess sometime in the future, if you see things are failing with them then you two can decide together on how to handle it, ie: leave it be or start paternity action yourselves to relieve her dh of the financial aspect of it all.

Melissa

Well, we are meeting with a lawyer today to find out something more definite. H called OW last night, and she said that she is going to ask for CS from my H because she has to in order to get a divorce from her H unless her H is willing to pay CS, and he isn't. He has already threatened my H on more than one occasion about that. We are also hoping to find out what is a realistic expectation in regards to custody. OW is definitely planning to leave the state as soon as her divorce is final. I just can't help thinking that we could provide these children with a much more stable home. I know that probably doesn't carry much weight though considering that she is the mother. Any thoughts? Please keep this positive, my stomach is in enough knots as it is.

Breanna,

I would listen to what your attorney has to say, but still not sign anything or agree to any DNA testing until xOW's H has been tested first! As it has been stated before, getting a D and getting CS are two seperate things! They may be determined at the same time by the same judge, but it is considered two different cases with the court. Not to be morbid, but it's similar to someone in criminal court for the murder of more than one person. They are all seperate, and the person can be found guilty of two, but not the third. It is not all bunched together until sentencing, and then it's just one put on top of the other. Anyone can get a D, and CS and custody are often determined shortly thereafter. I would let xOW deal with her D, and let her H get tested before your H goes in for testing. JMHO

Tigger

PS Let us know what your attorney says!

Breanna,
I was just wondering if you know if OW's H got a DNA test done? I remember you stating that OW's H said that the twins might be his?

Honestly, OW can't go after your H for CS until OW's H sign's a denial in paterinty and gets a DNA test done first. So, I would not volunteer anything.

Dawn

<small>[ August 14, 2002, 01:55 PM: Message edited by: Dawn71 ]</small>