I'm new hear and been reading a lot of post.
For a long time it was hard for me to discuss my situation because I felt alone.

My H and I are separated it's been 4 yrs now
we continue to see each other for 3 of the 4 yrs.
he meant OW I believe over the internet or one of those phone sex lines.

OW came here to visit my H with her three daughters 3 weeks after her visit she came up pregnant that was in May of 2000.

OW put up monies to buy H a Lexus. He also traded his other car in for a Infinity, I wwas devastated here I had no car.

They moved to another state I'm thinking they are doing fine. Now if this child was my H this OC would have been born the end of Feb or sometimes in March.

This OC was born in January of 2001 Ow said the child was premature weighing 6pds 5oz ( don't think so) H family friends or myself believes this OC is NOT his.

Now just last month my H left OW she was treating him very badly but this didn't come from him H painted this picture that everything was peachy.

I found out recently that was a lie, OW called my H and told him after she begged and pleaded for him to come home that since he didn't want her
someone else did.

OW called him a day later and told him she was Married , of course he didn't believe her H thought this was strategy OW used to get him back.

OW called H and told him the baby needed some things could he bring the items. OW moved back to her home state.

H and his brother and friends drove there to give OW the items she asked for and walked right into her wedding reception.

Everyone was cordual he visited his child OW and her new H, got in the car and drove away she came back, the car was spray painted JUST MARRIED
MR & MRS.

H played it off OW showed H the wedding rings
after that he drove back to the state were he was living.

I asked him how was he feeling he said he was shocked I always told him a women that cheats with you cheats on you.

He didn'e believe it up to now I told him she had to be cheating all along I told him he needs to get a blood test he said they did but I know he's lieing.

The state where he suppose to have recieve Blood test don't draw Blood this is the way he said the test was performed they only due the Buccal swab.

I have a way I can get information. I was wondering if I should get this information and wait until a later date to show H. he is in no shape for this now, after what just happened to him the other day

I hope this wan't to long i needed to get this out. Any sugestions <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

<small>[ August 13, 2002, 05:24 AM: Message edited by: MALC ]</small>

Malc,
Maybe you can get the information and tell me later of what you found.

It does sound OW is very manipulative. By what have you said it really sounds like OC is not your H. I hope he did not sign the birth certificate. You might want to find that out because there is a status of limitation for your H to file for paternity testing. I would try to convince him to get a DNA testing done.

Dawn

I'm a little bit confused. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Do you want this man back? Why are you so deeply involved in the personal life of a man who you've been seperated from for 4 years?

If you're trying to win him back I could see it. But if you're just a by-stander it sounds to me like you're over steping. He managed to get into this with this woman. Why noe let his sort it out?

I'm not trying to flame. I just don't understand you interest in his personal life.

Hi Dawn & Kathy

Dawn, I will let you know the outcome. Yes OW is very Manipulative. Yes he sign the bith certificate and the statue is over, unless there is some kind of fraud going on as far as signature.

Kathy, My husband and I have been separated for 4yrs but we continued to see each other off and on. I have my days that I say yes I want my Marriage, I want to be with him, then I have my days I say no. I don't feel as though I'm over stepping boundaries here because I'm still Married to him.

If there is a possibility that we may reconcile then yes, this would be my problem also. I want this information so I would know how to proceed further in determining, whether I feel it's worth it, and whether he is easily manipulated. These factors I need to know within myself whether you understand or not this is something I have to do for me.

I've gone through to much to just give up with out knowing the truth. Also if I find out he was this easily to manipulated by OW. I would have to think very seriouly about reconciling because if she was able to get away with it what's to prevent the next women from trying the sme thing.

If I find through my search that he's that gullable I would definitely have to rethink me reconciling our Marriage.

<small>[ September 03, 2002, 04:52 AM: Message edited by: MALC ]</small>

Malc,
I wanted to say that since OC was born in January 2001 then most likely your H still can go down to the court house and file for DNA testing. I would do this soon. I know someone else did this and the baby was a 1 1/2. So, I really do not think the status of limitation is up. Here I believe it is like 2 years. So, I would try to get your H down there to file.

Dawn

Hi Dawn

Thanks for the information. Really I think my H. is to embarressed and full of shame and quilt to do anything about a DNA, because he hurt me tremendously, with his envolvement with OW. so he doesn't want to feel that his chicken has come home to roost. Meaning you REAP WHAT YOU SOW.

H. has lied about a blood test that he never had done, but we all knew he was lying.The reason for his denial of knowing the truth, because H. would have to come to terms about his oldest daughter,
that is not his also.

Now that came from a family member of his, so it's easier for him to be in denial, than to deal with the truth. My H. is very gullable he's always been that way no matter what you tell him about someone mistreatment of him he doesn't believe it.

I feel in my heart, the truth will come out. Ow will get angry at my H. and tell him, that my H. is not the father of OC that's how vindictive she is.

Married 5yrs
Separated 4yrs
Affair with OW 5/13/2002
OW had 0C 01/2001
H left OW 7/2002
H stared contact with me
7/16 2002

<small>[ August 17, 2002, 07:21 PM: Message edited by: MALC ]</small>

Dear MALC,

I know that I haven't welcomed you to the board and I just wanted to take a moment to do that.

Regarding DNA testing, there are companies that will send you the equipment to do it yourself. It is quite simple. You get a kit with eight specially treated Q-tips in it. You use four of them to swab the inside of the baby's mouth and then seal them in a little envelope. You then swab the inside of your H's mouth and seal them. (He should do this part himself so your DNA doesn't contaminate his sample.) It costs about $300 and the results are private. They, however, will not be admissable in court.

So...you could do what we did. I wanted DNA testing done so that I could be certain. H did not want to enrage exOW by dragging her to court for court-ordered testing. H and I agreed to do it privately the next time we had visitation with Precious. It came back 99.95% certain that Precious was my H's child. I am glad that I know for sure. We did not tell exOW that we had the testing done.

If the test comes back that the child is not your H's, you can then go to the court and ask for the testing to be done officially. You will already know in advance what the results will be.

MALC, I wouldn't worry so much if your H is too gullible for a long-term relationship. If I were you I would worry that he is healthy and stable enough for one. His life sounds like Chaos, Inc. Are you certain you want this man in your life? First child may not be biologically his, he cheated on you, he lives with her but continues to have a relationship with you. Is this man capable of being in just one relationship at a time? You said you worry that he might be as gullible as to believe some future woman. If you are going to build a life there needs to be no future other women.

Just my thoughts,
MJ

Malc,
I agree wtih MaryJane. You need to be sure that he won't do this again! Was he seeing you and living with OW at the same time?

You should ask your H if he wants to pay child support for a child that is not his? What happened with his oldest daughter? She is not biological his? Is he paying for child support for her?

Dawn

Hi MJ & Dawn

You know I have to do some soul searching on this one for real. My H and I where living apart at the time when he meant OW. H and I had been together 2wks prior to meeting OW. Then after meeting OW. he stop dealing with me all together it was like I was the Ow and she was the W.

I'm getting feelings just talking about this it brought tears to my eyes. H Oldest daughter was born before I came into the picture.
My H is very weak.

My H won't get a DNA test because he 'knows deep in his heart this child and his oldest child is not his. The truth would reveal how gullable and nieve he is My H would rather live a lie.

I was just told by My H stepmother that the OW is suppose to be pregnant again. My H left her knowing this, her lights are out, she was living in a shelter. Again now mind you, she just married another man 2wks ago. Since he's been with this Ow he has been having no good luck at all.

Me I went through depression. I did a lot of harm to myself. I allowed this situation to get the best of me. The self worth I had, I allowed it to be destroyed. Now I have to pick myself back up again.

I need to do some soul searching. I know what I have to do in my heart. I'm just afraid to do it.
I don't need this Drama in my life I reallly don't. I have butterflies in my stomach, boy this is something how did I get myself in this mess.

What was going on with me to attract this situation in my life. What is this situation telling me about me, that's the question I need to ask myself. But I do know something must be done.

BUMP

For those who are not familiar with my story I bump up, so you can read. For those who are interested.