HI everyone!
I am new here. Hopefully my question doesn't sound too ignorant, but in advance, I appreciate all your advice!

I have been married for a little over 2 years. I am 26, my husband is 32. We are very happy and haven't had any major issues arise in our relationship.

Growing up I swore I never wanted children, but after being married and starting to get those "motherly" feelings I am starting to think about the possibility of a child.

My question? When do you know if you're ready for a child? I mean I love my freadom and the ability to get up and go. My husband and I have full time jobs and I am going to school in the evenings to finish getting my BA and we have 3 dogs that our lives revolve around.

Do you have children while you're still young and have the energy to enjoy the playing and keeping up with them or do you wait until your older and more stable financially and set in life's route?

Is there really a good time to get pregnant or will there always be a reason to put it off if you don't just do it? How do you know if you're made for mother hood, I mean what if I do have a child and realize I was not meant to be mom?!?!
This thought scares me.

Thanks!

Rooner,

Well, this particular board is for those dealing with a child born from an affair. And, while your question is a valid one, I don't know how much advice you may receive here.

My advice is that you need to do it when it feels right. There is never a "perfect" time to have a child. If you don't feel that you are ready for a child, then don't try to get pregnant. How much longer till you have your BA? I ask because this could cause you to resent having had a child while you were working so hard. Especially if it makes you stop working on something you've already put so much time into.

As for worrying about if you are made for motherhood, again, that's something you have to decide for yourself. Many women who don't feel "motherly" feel very differently when they are holding their new child(whether they gave birth to the child or adopted)! It's not something you should worry about if you are truly thinking of having a child, cause then you will just set yourself up for harder times.

I'm not sure what section of the forum this question would be best received and responded to. I hope that you figure out what is best for you, your H and your M.

Tigger

Hi rooner,
Welcome to Marriage Builders! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

To answer your question, if you even have to ask (whether or not you're ready), honey, you ain't ready!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Enjoy your freedom and work on your marriage. Read all you can on this site! You have come to the right place!!! Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

A woman's eggs do get old so putting it off might not be a guarantee that when you think you are ready, you will be able to conceive... Where God leads, He provides. If you are to be a mom, it will be a role that you will evolve into. Having a baby doesn't make us loving mothers, it is something we become, just like getting married didn't make you a loving wife--you have to work on it. MB is a great place to start!!! Good luck to you!

Thanks Ladies,
I really appreciate it!!!
Best of luck in life to you!
rooner

I've heard it said that nobody is ever really 100% ready to have a baby. That may be true. But once you do, you fall TOTALLY in love with this new little person and everything else pales in comparison.

My H and I wanted children years ago. Never used birth control and it took us 17 years to get pregnant! Don't know why now, it just happened. We had one miscarriage 2 years ago.

I also loved our lifestyle. We traveled, ate out, etc. But guess what? You can still do those things with a child! And there are many people who love to babysit if you need to get away.

I watched Oprah last week about how hard it is to get pregnant after 35. I believe that. Also, after 40 90% of your eggs will not be normal. Don't do what so many moviestars do and wait until it's too late.

We are thrilled and very relieved to have a healthy beautiful baby. We adore her and I wouldn't trade one second I spend with her. I quit working to stay home with her. We have very little money but who cares? She's only small for a few years and you can't put a price on that!

I wish you luck and many happy years of momhood!