</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by mom of five:
[QB]

This is between her and her god and not any of your business.QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As long as you are on our site, talking loud and drawing a crowd, it is our business. You make it so just by your mere presence.

Don't expect to pontificate your justifications and rationalizations and insult/upset Betrayeds and not get a reaction.

BTW, your behavior is pretty sarcastic and snotty which indicates you are on the defensive rather than looking for solutions. You and another OW are a minority of two with an occasional non-regular OW piping in to give support to your camp. You really are on our turf so it would be wise to try to be gracious. Stop lamenting how you have been "abused", "insulted" and called names. I do not recall anyone calling you any names.

Catnip =^^=

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by mom of five:
[QB]I think we scare her, because she can see the ugliness about ow and /oc from bs's and she has others who have contact and deal with so much garbage.. QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oh, puh-leeze. CM doesn't seem to be a frail little shrinking violet who can't take the heat. She has a hide like a rhino and if she can dish it out, she can take it.

And, BTW, NOTHING compares to the "ugliness" of an interloper in your marriage, as you should know yourself, except of course, if the interloper spawns.

Catnip =^^=

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by heavenlybody26:
<strong>
But your habit of speaking for CM gets tiring. It is very "high-schoolish" the way you each spring to each other's defense whenever one is questioned. Unless you are the same person, neither of you can possibly know what is in each other's minds and when someone asks a question, they are generally not looking for another person's speculation on the answer.

You are an OW and so is CM</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">MO5 and CM are in fact OW, but as it's been pointed out they are indeed WS's as well, if YOUR WS decided to post here and claim to want to work on his marriage would HE be met with the same hostility that these women are? NO I think not...we'd eat that up, because it's what we want so desperatly to hear.

As far as MO5 defending CM or even " speaking for her, and explaining her feelings" I see no difference in that than when certain BS have attacked MO5 only to have other BS's rush to their defense and explain away what must have certainly been a meltdown on their part.

I think the bottom line is certain memebers need to stay away or not read other members posts that upset them...or is it that we're drawn to them out of morbid curiousity? sigh...

It is just so tiring to have the same people singled out ALL THE TIME...

Today I am making another step in my own personal recovery...I am taking Doc to lunch and am going to introduce myself to his FOW, as she's the only one in his office I have yet to meet...my stomach is in knots and I feel as tho I may throw up at any moment, but I'm tired of her being the faceless "enemy"

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CMiranda:
[QB]Perhaps if you were my MM's wife you would not be suffering as you are now. I have spared alot of people in what I thought was putting their happiness and well being before my own. IQB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You're a saint. And that Badge of Martyrdom looks great on sackcloth and ashes.

However, the BS in your "realm" will eventually discover the heart-wrenching deceit and it is anyone's guess as to whether or not she will feel your "sacrifice" spared her any pain or magnified it, although I am sure that is not your primary motive.

Catnip =^^=

JL

I'd have to tell you that you should go back and read my past posts again. I speak very highly of my H. I have said numerous times that our M is better than it has been in quite some time since I ended the A.
However, if it weren't broken in the first place, I wouldn't have looked twice at OM. If my H hadn't done some terrible things of his own perhaps my love bank would not have gone into the red.
That is really all I have to say; I know what this site is about. I have begun to query the members for answers as I find that I need them. Please go back and search my posts if you do not recall.
I do agree, it was a grenade to admit that I feel MM is responsible to his w, not me. I believe it to be a truthful assessment of my feelings today. Perhaps they will change, or perhaps not.

CM

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by mom of five:
[QB]I see people attacking when they dont know facts and out of pure meaness, just to make someone hurt because they hurt

That's preposterous and as long as you hold this "victim" mentality, you will feel "picked on" when in reality you are pretty good at hurling barbs and insults yourself, the pot is calling the kettle black. No one is being "mean", they are debating valid points and it might be making some feel uncomfortable. No one likes the truth when they are not ready for it.

but insults and people saying I belong elsewhere just because they are offended by me

Sheesh, don't you read what you write? You do this all the time to BS. No one is offended by you. If that were true, we wouldn't love, accept and respect BTDT, Ohbratti, Tigger and others that are just as much a part of this site as we are. The difference between these women and you is their compassion and understanding and their inability to make excuses for themselves. They "get it".

I see nothing productive about constantly harrassing someone on their life as if we all had perfect live ourselves. WHAT IS THE POINT. do you think constantly bickering with each other will help any one heal,

As long as there are two polar opposites in two seperate camps, it is stupid and unrealistic to expect there will be no bickering, especially on site as volitile as this. Grow up.
The POINT is to heal the marriage, not dawdle around here, posting inflamatory remarks designed to push buttons then say "gee, can't we just get along? Why are they so mean? "You guys call me names and insult me" all the while tremendously guilty of this yourself.

The om in my life still thinks we were meant to be together and we will always be friends and he has made no bones about his feelings,

This is soemthing that really gauls me personally...when FOW go on and on how the FMM is still in love with them, still desires them but is forced to give her up for the good of their families, not because they want to be home with their wives. The FOW goes on to remark that the wife looks like a "grandmother" and acts "noble" by throwing the BS a few insincere crumbs of tolerance "for the good of all", like the FOW should be canonized for her valor and long suffering. This is where I think FOW's are in denial because the majority (not all, but the majority) of FMM thank God and Greyhound the OW is out of their lives on a regular basis. I admit your circumstances are a bit different since there is such active involvement, but by and large the FMM are not pining away for the OW's as if they are some etherial and unattainable dream that they would prefer to be with, but sacrifice their desires to stay with their families and "put up with" their icky old haggard wife who they can hardly stand to be around.

Keep on pulling those triggers but expect reactions and don't complain about it.

Catnip =^^=

BTW, Pepperband's wonderful post on Sisterhood said it all and it was not lost on me. I have always understood the meaning and find it upsetting that the only sisterhood you are willing to entertain is someone of like-mind.
QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have great admiration for the way you have tried to work things out with the OM for the sake of your daughter. You and your H obviously have very strong communication and are making it work. But, I agree with many others that you are a true exception to that rule. Most triangle or quadrangle situations don't end of the way yours did. You are truly a great example for those who want to take your path.

But I have been on MB for a long time and I must admit that you and CM have driven me into lurking for two very different reasons. CM is extremely disrespectful to everyone who does not agree with her. She does not simply answer the original poster, she analyzes and tears apart the answers given by everyone who replies. I don't even argue with my H and I love him, so it is truly not worth it to argue with a total stranger. That is why I choose to lurk and listen.

I have posted to you once or twice and I have never had a disrespectful response. But your habit of speaking for CM gets tiring. It is very "high-schoolish" the way you each spring to each other's defense whenever one is questioned. Unless you are the same person, neither of you can possibly know what is in each other's minds and when someone asks a question, they are generally not looking for another person's speculation on the answer.

Your reply to MALC absolutely amazed me. You said:

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am sure you can learn from all here but if you are not comfortable that is your choice.
but you are certainly welcome.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That sentence says it all. It explains your entire life and the reasons why you and CM are sometimes not held in high regard on this board. Both of you are making a lot of people on this board uncomfortable. While you are correct that is our problem, what you don't understand is that it is your problem too.

I have seen old timers on this board saying that you have destroyed this board. But your reply is, if you don't like it -- you can leave. That exemplifies to most betrayed spouses here the attitude of the OW who, in their view, ruined their lives. Women who knowingly go after married men simply don't care about anyone. If their wives don't like it -- they can leave.

You and CM have admitted openly that you don't consider the wives of your MM to be your concern in any way. Well, many of us are the wives of MM and you are again saying to all of us -- if we don't like it we can leave.

You can say you are a betrayed spouse, if you like. But the simple fact is that you have not discussed one situation on this board that stems from an affair by your husband. All we have heard about is your relationship with the OM and his W. You can paint stripes on a horse but it doesn't make him a zebra.

You are an OW and so is CM. You are both the ones in extreme denial who are not following the MB principles. You both say inciteful things for no apparent reason other than to upset other people.

It is truly a shame that people who need help have stopped posting here because of people who are pretending to need help. And it is a shame that new people are being driven away because OWs are telling them that the child of the affair is more important than the feelings of the married couple.

I am not making any judgements on who should or should not be here. But common sense says that if you are not following the MB principles, you simply don't belong on this board. Why would anyone want to prevent people who are seriously in pain and devastated from this situation from finding help? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You and CM have admitted openly that you don't consider the wives of your MM to be your concern in any way.
well thats not entirely true, I consider her any time she has to be around me, I am respectful of her and polite and agree to many things I dont want just to make her feel comfortable and try and understand how hard this is for her. I let her come with me for activities that I dont really want her to. It is not a comfortable place for me and I work hard to make sure she is comfortable.
But the simple fact is that you have not discussed one situation on this board that stems from an affair by your husband.

WELL that isnt true either, I have discussed my husbands affairs a few times, which one would you like to know about, many of them are posted in different places in the forums. I am to this day learning to deal with them.. and will continue to learn as time goes. which one would make you feel better to hear about I know of 18 women and can tell you when where and what happened to me because of it. I dont dwell on it, because it isnt the issue we mostly talk about. I soent years trying to figure it out and wishing it werent true, but fact is it is, and i cant change it, I dont have to deal with any of them on a daily basis so it no longer effects our lives except maybe in my mind.
It is very "high-schoolish" the way you each spring to each other's defense whenever one is questioned.

I am sorry if that bothers you, I dont see a resaon for people to be so critical all the time, high school ish, how cute, I dont suppose that is the same when the betrayed spouses jump on the band wagona nd call names and defend ever bs having a breakdown do you!? No couldnt be.. I am sure of it.


as far as the ow junk goes if you must label each and every one of us, YES at one time I was an OW, and at one time many OF the spouses on here were ow/om. They are also a ws.. why is it different because i am a woman ?
A moderator told me an ow was someone who is having an affair.. a ws is someone who is married who had an affair. SO WHAT label you apply to me, is of little significance But I have learned to use marriage builders principles at home, and do try and practice them.
I posted the other day about a problem I had and you and all others are free to ignore it. If it bothers you please do not post to me.. It was my problem and my issue. I dont understand why that is so devistating ot you.. You think because I was the other woman once in my life I should just lay down and die and not live a life any more ?

I try to be polite to all on here and If I bother a few of you, just dont read what I have to say.. what is so hard about that.

I have said before and I say again if I was your spouse that post here you would welcome the thoughts.. I cant make my thoughts conform to your ideas and thoughts, that would be a lie, why not be honest..
I didnt say I was perfect...far from it.. But neither is any one else here.
I have also tried to be supportive to other betrayed spouses. I am sorry if you dont see it that way.

catnip
grow up

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CMiranda:
[QB]Gosh ladies, this is about the 4th thread in my honor.

BBBBaby, you ain't seen nothing yet. You are a very controversial member, CM. You inspire debate.

I will give you the respect you deserve my responding briefly and truly hope this doesn't turn into some crazy hair brained twisted up mess of a thread.

Too late.

If it takes that turn, I shall ignore it for those of us who choose the peaceful route around here.
QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Impossible expectations! It can't happen as long as you and MOF say the things you do to evoke response. It isn't fair of you to hurl one then just walk away mewling how you're going to ignore the fallout. Excuse me while I cry "foul".

Catnip =^^=

ok every one I am done.. I see no reason to argue this garbage.. If my life caused triggers in any bs I am sorry for that. I was only posting my problems and dealing witht hem and no I do not have tons of nice things to say about om's wife, but I am respectful to her and try to avoid any conflict.

I am sorry if you dont like the truth catnip, but this is my life and it is the truth and I must deal with it as such.. You cant speak about my life when you are not living it.. I was talking about me and you assume there must be one simple answer to all the lives on here..
there just isnt.. so If I make a thread you have a choice to post to me or not.. thaTS ALL if it offends you dont respond pretend it isnt there, I am ok with that.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by mom of five:
<strong>ok every one I am done.. I see no reason to argue this garbage.. If my life caused triggers in any bs I am sorry for that. I was only posting my problems and dealing witht hem and no I do not have tons of nice things to say about om's wife, but I am respectful to her and try to avoid any conflict.

I am sorry if you dont like the truth catnip, but this is my life and it is the truth and I must deal with it as such.. You cant speak about my life when you are not living it.. I was talking about me and you assume there must be one simple answer to all the lives on here..
there just isnt.. so If I make a thread you have a choice to post to me or not.. thaTS ALL if it offends you dont respond pretend it isnt there, I am ok with that.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">(sigh) You just don't get what I am trying to tell you, do you? Don't counter with acting like a victim or something to create a diversion away from the point.

It isn't your life that causes triggers....it all began with your remarks about your BS and other BS identifying with our FOW's saying things like that about us and acting as if we were insignificant, too. When FOW's act as though it is so good of them to toss us a morsel of tolerance while looking at BS's without any compassion or having any remorse for what FOW's have done, the denial that FOW's owe nothing to BS is what is difficult for BS's to absorb because BS's feel that these FOW's took everything from them like a thief in the night, without apology or any care whatsoever to what they did to harm their life and alter it forever.

I am glad you are respectful. No one expects you to like her or kaffe klatch with her, but any seemingly negative comments about her would cause some to identify. I did. You can vent to CM or others via e-mail what an ugly old hag she is, but since the majority kind of rules here, it would be wise to temper words against BS unless she does something horrible to your child...then everyone will jump on the bandwagon.

I LOVE truth! Absolutely, MOF....saying I am not liking the truth is a smokecreen because I LOVE truth. I hope you do, too and are not in denial or wear your motherhood like an armour of justification.

These debates we have here reveal all kinds of truths and some of which are directed to you or to me to teach, instruct, to learn, to grow, to get out of denial, to accept responsibiility, to acknowledge what we have done to cause others pain and to stop making excuses for our behavior. To understand sisterhood and have empathy...

Catnip =^^=

HB,

Your post here is to M05 but since you are referring to me over and over in it, I don't feel as though I'm replying to some poster just because I don't agree with what you have to say.

Your post takes the cake.

I've noticed that you have not been around here. If you want me to tell you that I'll leave for you to return, I'm sorry that is not what I'm going to do. As a ws, I do not like some of the BS posts. I've learned, in the 5 mths. I've been here to ignore them. If I have something to offer in a positive manner, I do it. If you can't live with that, I am at a loss for what to tell you. Because I'm an OW, I should what?.. let you push me out? I could say that is typical of a BS. As you say it is of an ow. (forgetting fully I'm here as a ws)

Oh, and did it ever occur to you that MAYBE the WS went after the OP? If it hasn't, it should. Your head has to stuck in the sand if you think only women chase men. The WS are capable of doing plenty of their own chasing. I say that because you clearly state that ow here tell you all its your choice to stay or leave..? Its typical of us "ow" since we went after some poor,helpless little man. I'm about to puke on that one.
If you only knew is all I can say about that. Its incredible, absolutely amazing. I would go into detail but then I'd be accused to focusing too much on my EX. And yes, that is what he is. An EX-OM. In case anyone missed the fact that it is indeed over between us.

When I first came here, you are right, I was in defense mode. Much like the BS are here on this thread. What got this all going is my response to M05's thread, where a BS came along and picked apart what I wrote to M05, isn't that what you accuse me of? Oh, but it is okay when its a BS doing it. YOu are stuck on labels not behavior or words or what level of MB any of us are at.
You all stick together and you justify insults as long as they are not toward yourselves.

You want me to come here and agree with everything you write. And there have been some pretty outrageous comments made about OW and OC here. Sorry, but I can not agree with it all just as you all can't agree with everything one of "us" writes.

Funny how you think when Mo5 agrees with me, its Highschool, yet when you all band together like a bunch of gypsie's, its is MB. Please spare me. There is plenty of BS here who haven't a clue about MB yet they proclaim themselves the local experts.

M05 and I do understand eachother more than you seem to know. We've been down many of the same roads and I agree with nearly every word she writes here. I agree with many of the BS here as well. I empathsize with many here too. I will not be your forum doormat however. If you have been reading and lurking then you know how this all started. It is your choice to leave if it isn't working for you here. That isn't a ow attitude. That is the beauty of freedom. If you want to own this site, for yourselves to rant and rave about how rotten OW are, I have said for the upteenth time, I'm sorry you feel that way. You want to insult and have the ones insulted keep quiet all the while I can't even say that I don't feel responsible for om's W and you all go nuts. Hypocracy is breeding here like wildfire.

I never admitted his W wasn't my concern. I said his M and it's state are not my responsibility. Not my responsibility before I met him and not now. He owns that. Just as I own my M issues. You are reading much too much into this. I never said she wasn't a concern of mine simply because I stated a few posts ago that he and I didn't spend our time together talking about our spouses. I mean come on here. It seems you all are more upset because you heard some truth here, that us WS aren't sitting with our OP when the A is underway, talking about you. That is what fired you up it seems to me.
Go back and read the post on Mom's thread and you'll see this is where it completely took off and this new thread started.
A requirement of this site is not that one must be a BS by the way. Mom and I are WS and that is what brought us here. I'm not going to defend my presense here to you.
No, no and NO. I do not say anything to upset other people. Contrary, I say the truth, just as you all do,without regard for how it is received at times by me. You want to tip toe around here? No, you say? Well, thank you very much, neither do I.
You seem to want to hear only what works for you, what insults you, and from only those who you deem insulting. I can barely write a logical post because I'm responding to such nonsense it is appauling.
You are making judegement, you are trying so carefully to be political about it but you are.
I know this be taken in some negative form, one way or another, I will repeat myself here, I agree with Mom and other BS's who've had the courage to stand up and say it, this site is for those who want to rebuild their M and their lives. If you don't see that in me, I honestly don't know what to tell you or any of your cohorts here. I don't require some endorsement by you. I've gotten great advice from many BS and WS/OW here. I have read BS write that I and other WS/OW offer then insight and make them think.
I honestly don't know how else to respond to your post. I am sorry you feel as you do, I can't change you or your feelings.
Sorry this is so long but you really struck a nerve in me today.
We need to get along. It was you who said that in a post to BS and WS/OW quite some time ago. In order to do that, we need to drop the masks. We need to stop looking for reasons to be offended so often and think twice about the double standard.
CM

Folks PLEASE STOP!

I realize that CM sort of lobbed a grenade into this with her feelings about OM's W.

I also realize that CM and Mo5 are in a different situation, with Mo5 having been on all sides of this issue, BS, WS, OW, mother and the mother of OC. Personally, I think that qualifies her to come to this site as much as anyone. While the solution she, her H, OM, and OM's W have arrived at is very unusual it seems to be working. It doesn't matter that most people could not make it work it does work, and therefore is worthy of consideration and examination.

CM, I am unclear about, hence my questions. I worry that we aren't helping her. I also know that while she thinks she has said good things about her H, they are mostly that he loves the Baby. Heck, even politicians kiss babies. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> But, most of her discussion perhaps rightly is about the fact that he failed her and she had the affair and continues with strong feelings for OM.

Now, this brings me to a point I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE. Ladies (primarily) whether you know it or not you are PRIVILEGED to get to see that OM/OW's don't just vanish from the WS minds, but you are also PRIVILEGED to see that doesn't mean the WS cannot or will not work on their marriage. It also means that if your WS has stopped thinking about and dealing with OP, that you are truely very darned lucky and you should be thankful.

I think that Mo5 should be here for she deals with many of the same issues from the other side and she has to deal with OP just as some of you will if you maintain any contact with OC. It can be done apparently because Mo5 is doing it.

CM is in my mind problematic because she doesn't really seek help and yet seems to have opinions that are contradictory to her very actions or to be more specific lack of actions. But, no one really knows her or her situation and she seems to like it that way.

Yet, even here is an opportunity to learn. Personally, I would like CM to discuss her feelings, plans and thoughts more, so that a true discussion could take place, not the answer she gave me which was simply a defense. She doesn't have to defend herself to me or anyone else, but it would be a pleasure to discuss with her, her problems, dreams, and goals. It is what this site is ultimately about.

I was around here when this portion of MB was formed. I thought it abit exclusionary, but it seemed to work. Yes, it was formed at the request of the betrayed W's, not betrayed H's and not WS's. Yes, it took on the form of sort of a long pity party. Yes, it was attacked periodically by OW trying to justify their thinking and their deeds. But, it seemed to help and people seemed to learn from one another. I would like to suggest that the presence of Mo5, CM, and many others enrich this portion of MB, because it brings out the uncomfortable. Yes, I know many want to come her for comfort, but most people don't learn well in comfort, they tend to stagnate.

So there is my opinion. I would like to see more of Mo5, and CM not less. I would love it if we could discuss, debate, yup even argue about points of view or simply approaches to things and yet recall that everyone here is here for help and to help. That is really the point isn't it?

And yes it is why CM sometimes gets grief, because while her posts are no doubt truthful they are often delivered in a manner that suggests that she doesn't care if someone is hurt by them. It is probably not her intention, but I know it happens. That is why I commented about her posts earlier in this thread. Perhaps, that is the one thing we can help her on. Perhaps, it will help her marriage if she learns a bit more sensitivity.

But, even then I have not seen any overt attempts by her to hurt people her. She is not like the OW that occasionally drift by with nothing more on their minds than to inflame and hurt people her. I see her as a young lady in a terrible situation trying to figure things out.

OK, end of sermon. I will step down from the pulpit, but I do expect the collection plate to be passed and I will let you know where to send the proceeds. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

God Bless ALL of You,

JL

Ok so I am not always thinking happy thoughts of his wife , But I did go to her and apologise and she told me and her husband it was the first step that she was able to recover and move on and accept my daughter.. did I like it!? Hell no, I hated it and didnt want to do it, but felt she deserved to hear that from me,.. when she becomes insecure and wants to ask me something I let her,a nd I am kind in my response and try to be truthful, but never say anything that would hurt her.

She even wrote my husband and told him, her husband should come to him and say he is sorry, however pride of om wont let him and my husband says this bothers him. But SHE cant make her husband go to him.. so nothing we can do. I have empathy for her and If I have a bad day and gripe I am not talking about you or any one else on here, I give her no reason to feel she needs to defend her self to me, she doesnt need to.. But I cant go on saying I am sorry for ever.. I have to move on and she has to aswell, they decided how they wanted exchanges to be and I went along, she thinks her husband and I need to talk alone and decide things for daughter and sends him for god sakes. But I dont think I need to include her so much in my personal life , why does she want to be around me all the time, it must be a trigger for her, and i always drag kids along, It isnt pleasant for either, I dont think she should do it, and yes i was griping because it was driving me nuts..

HAving her email me all the time, and call all the time, is nothing but putting all the reminders back in our life and my husbands and he isnt comfortable with it. I think it should stop, but I will continue to be nice and work it out.. I have already given her an apology for my part, by letter and in person.. I was sincere and she accepted it.

Myabe some comes from so many years of hearing him tell how aweful she is, I dont know, but I dont I am being rude or mena to want her out of my life as much as possible.

I am tired, and defensive,so I am sure this does not make sense.. Husband flew out of state today for a funeral, I miss him already.
By the way hope the hamster thing didnt offend you either, but my little boy loves his little pet, and i hate for the children to be hurt.
besides my original thread served no purpose any longer.

<small>[ August 21, 2002, 11:47 AM: Message edited by: mom of five ]</small>

JL ... PLEASE post a sermon on my "confidential" thread!!!

Pretty please!!!!!!!!!!

Catnip and company,

The sisterhood post by pepperband is lost on you all as surely as it is lost on me. You do not practice what you preach. You all are mean and vengeful. That ain't in the sisterhood book of rules.

cm

This is sad&#8230;so very sad. Sometimes, we (me included) get so caught up in making our point and being heard, that we forget to be considerate, compassionate and just plain ole polite. We rack our brains to come up with the &#8220;perfect&#8221; answer&#8230;often packed with double-talk, hidden meanings, veiled barbs, insults, accusations, etc. etc. Debate and disagreement, when done with strict adherence to the rule of respect, can be fruitful, inspiring, eye-opening, and an all-around pretty wonderful learning tool. Whether we like it or not, we must remember that there are rules that ALL must abide by. I try never to forget that. While I have carved a little place for myself here and feel as if I &#8220;belong&#8221;, this is not MY home, per se. I am a guest and MUST follow the house rules. It&#8217;s kind of like when my brother wanted to come stay with me. We had to come to an understanding. My house. My rules. It was simple. He was a guest and would adhere to the rules of my home for as long as he stayed. If he didn&#8217;t like them, he could leave. It wasn&#8217;t open for negotiation. I didn&#8217;t care how much he pissed and moaned about the rules. He had agreed, and darn it, he would live up to that agreement, or pack it up and go somewhere else. Out on the sidewalk, he could say and do whatever he wanted, and I had no say so, but inside the walls of my home, it was a whole new ballgame. Leave the crap at the door or don&#8217;t come in.

This is not directed at anyone specific. It's more of a vent. This drama gets so old. I see the pretty words, but also see the ugliness cleverly hidden behind them. It's an insult to my intellect when someone takes a jab at another and then claims we misunderstood. I didn't misunderstand nothin'. It really saddens me that one would resort to such dirty tactics and then try to excuse or defend them. The dripping sarcasm and antagonistic word play is churlish and so unnecessary. We ALL are guilty of this. STOP IT! Like I said before, leave the crap at the door, or don't come in!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by catnip:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by mom of five:
[QB]

This is between her and her god and not any of your business.QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As long as you are on our site, talking loud and drawing a crowd, it is our business. You make it so just by your mere presence.

Don't expect to pontificate your justifications and rationalizations and insult/upset Betrayeds and not get a reaction.

BTW, your behavior is pretty sarcastic and snotty which indicates you are on the defensive rather than looking for solutions. You and another OW are a minority of two with an occasional non-regular OW piping in to give support to your camp. You really are on our turf so it would be wise to try to be gracious. Stop lamenting how you have been "abused", "insulted" and called names. I do not recall anyone calling you any names.

Catnip =^^=</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Your turf my butt. Oh, my, what was that oh righteous one catnip you had said about how the sisterhood post wasn't lost on you. Please. You are in the minority, you and a few other bitter bs's. Here to #itch and moan all your life about how some little woman chased down your man until she caught him. Its sickening to think you even can believe it. Maybe your H had a 3 weekend A and that surely is not comarision to my 6 1/2 year stint, but nonetheless, you hate and you are breeding hate here.
You are in the minority sister **
This aint about OW/WS v. BS
Get over it why don't you. Move over and stop whining already.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Just Learning:
[QB]Folks PLEASE STOP!

I realize that CM sort of lobbed a grenade into this with her feelings about OM's W.

JL...............
I WAS ASKED AND SO I ANSWERED. I DIDN'T COME ALONG AND JUST TOSS IT OUT THERE FOR FUN.

IF THEY DON'T WANT THE ANSWER, WHY ASK THE QUESTION?

ITS IRRATIONAL. I DON'T GET IT.

CM

you guys do realise the other forums are reading this and thinking.. we are a bunch of emotional women who have lost their mind.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

just food for thought, I am out of here, going to do something constructive.