Joining with you in prayer, Stacia_Lee...

Dear Stacia,

I am so glad that you went to counselling but also worried about your H's reaction. It does sound like he may have issues that he needs to deal with. I will remember you both in my prayers and ask God to soften his heart and allow him to see that he needs to deal with his feelings and communicate with you if the marriage is to continue to improve and get stronger.

When my H and I went to counselling, we had a woman at first, and he was not happy about that. It might be simply that your H was uncomfortable with the counselor and felt that two women were "ganging up" on him.

I think your 'wait and see' attitude is the right approach for now. Your H knows you are serious about wanting to make change in your marriage, or you would not have taken the step to get counselling. It might be good to let him think about what he stands to lose if he doesn't get his act together.

Don't be afraid Stacia. Continue to keep faith and trust in God. Like the song says, "I don't believe He brought you this far to leave you." My prayers are with you,
love,
heavenly

Stacia you have my continued prayers.

I am glad you're going to IC.

Sounds as if your H isn't giving the answers you want to hear yet. I pray he will soon understand what you've done for both of you to continue on together.

The fact he's counseling is in your favor.

Bless you, Stacia.

love
Debi

Stacia,

I too will pray for you and H during this time! I know that with your faith in God, and with His help, you can make it through this trying time a stronger woman(if that's possible!) than you are now! You know that I love you guys, and hope and pray for the best!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Stacia}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Love,

Tigger

I just wanted to tell you that I went through something similar about 3 months ago. We got back from vacation and there was a message on MY cell phone. A woman claimed to be having an affair with my H and she knew many, many details of vehicles we had or did own, furniture we had or did own, places we had lived, etc.
I immediately confronted my H who denied it tooth and nail. I fretted over it for days and talked with my H about it constantly.
Then I started to put two and two together. The phone call originated from a pay phone in the town of exOW. All the details that this mystery woman mentioned, our exOW also knew. Our exOW also had my cell phone number from when we had visitation...stopped in Feb...long story.
Anyway, I came to realize that this was just the workings of exOW still trying to break up my marriage. Nothing more has come of it and I have received no more phone calls at all. My H is rarely far from my sight and I check his paycheck to verify his work hours and schedule. Nothing fishy.
The only thing I can say about your situation is that I believe counseling is a great idea. I am concerned for your H not being as open to it. I will pray for him on that. My H was willing to and did whatever I asked with regards to counseling as he knew we needed to save our marriage.
I will close with asking you not to jump to conclusions either way. Wait and see, but continue to discuss these issues with your H and maybe he will see how counseling will help both of you. Best of luck!

Stacie,
I'm so sorry for this event and your pain. I hope it turns out as tryinforsainthood describes--another twisted desperate try by an evil woman (XOW). You wondered if something is up, and now something is. I think a man would act defensive in this situation whether he were innocent OR guilty, due to the shame of his previous behavior and his trying to be better.

Prayers and hugs,
J

Hi Stacia,
I am mainly a lurker here but something struck me about your story here. This woman who called you, why did she have a tape of your hubby? That sort of doesn't make sense that she would have tapes. It sounds like somebody was setting your hubby up and trying to hurt you. I don't know anybody that carries a tape recorder with them all the time or anyone that records phone calls.

I'm glad you're getting counseling and I hope things work out for you.

Hmmm.... I hated your H's answer to the counselor also but it sounds kinda like he was embarrassed and trying to use humor to lighten the mood... Maybe???

Honestly, I don't think he would have agreed to go to counseling, and come so far in your recovery if he truly didn't want to make it work. I guess that person could have gotten tapes of your H's voice from the xOW? Sounds like she was just playing games.

I think you should ask the phone company to change your number due to harrassing phone calls. In that case, they would even change it for free!

Hello friends,

What a weekend!

Friday was counseling, which I posted about already, and then that night I was on the phone with H (he works 3rd shift) and this wanna-be OW calls him, AGAIN!
I told him to put me on the line with her, which he did.
I proceeded to ask her why she was calling him again… she said that exOW was in a hotel room with some guy, yelling at a child (she presumed it to be the boy), topless and giving this guy a b***j** right infront of the child.
Why should H care? Let alone me?, I asked her.
Well, I figured that he may need to go get the baby.
The baby is here with me. I told you that on Tuesday.
Well, I was only concerned for your daughter.
My Daughter is FINE!

She hung up.

This makes the 5th time she has contacted H AFTER telling me she would never call him again.
I had enough!

I had asked her not to call H again. I had even given her MY cell phone number so she could call me if he called her… or if she needed to tell him something… I had promised I would relay any messages between them, YET… she didn’t call me! So I was more than PO’d now!

I called her back! I said, If you are so concerned about that child, Call DCS or the cops! There is no reason YOU can’t call and report this… you apparently know where they are and what they are doing…. Call the cops! Protect that child!
Don’t let the opportunity to help HIM pass like you let it pass when you witnessed her beating the crap out of him before!
I called the cops that time, It’s because of me that they took him from her.
(Not true, not at all… the reason the boy was removed was over the dog lease incident… and exOW’s own mother reported that… its in court documents)
Well, I could care less what exOW does when Lil Bit is not with her. And Lil Bit is safe and sound here with me.
Please don’t call my H again. I asked you to call me if there was anything to tell him, but you are STILL calling him!
You have lied to me!
I lost your number. And for your information HE is calling me!
Well, by god, its on your caller id now… so don’t LOSE IT.
And if he is calling you, you need to end it. Don’t talk to him. Tell him not to call you. Do what you have to do to END THIS. END IT NOW!
(By this time, H had called me and I had him on the other phone. One phone in each ear, he was hearing only my side, and she didn’t know I had him on the phone.)
I have blocked 2 of the numbers he calls from. He is calling from another one now.
(UM… hey stupid.. he works at a BUSINESS they have a trunk line.. there is no particular number he calls from …)
Well, End it.. end it now. What happens with me and H is my business, and I will handle it. You need to move on and stay away from him. Do not call him again. And if he calls you again, CALL ME and let me know.

With that I hung up.

H said, what was that? And I told him what I had just done…

He said, NO I have not called her. I have told you every time she has called since she started this mess.
I love you, ONLY you. I am sorry that this is happening. There is no truth to this at all.

I talked to H for about 2 hrs. (yeah, a little insecure that there may have been a grain of truth… but felt much better when she did not call again)

I truly believe him, I still have some lapses of curiosity but this weekend we have pieced more of this “plot” together.
I spoke to both of the other people that were in the “chatroom” and asked some questions that lead to more unveiling that this is all a pack of lies.

As far as the taped messages, they were voicemails. I asked her to play the envelope info that would tell me when they were sent, the number they were sent from, etc… but she refused to let me hear that…
So, I am inclined to believe some of them were from 2 yrs ago. The quality of the messages was choppy and distorted, and there was no “Bye” at the end of any of them… they sounded pieced together.

Thanks for the support! I appreciate it!

Still Praying…

OMG!!!!! The gall of these women, and now I feel even more so that it's xOW planning ALL of this! If this "girl" was so worried about your H "loving" her, she would be willing to play the info you asked for, and not just the actual message! And, to call your H about a child that's not his, when she is perfectly capable! And, if what she said had been true, don't you think that DCS or the cops would believe her, and be right over at that hotel to arrest xOW?!?!?! I smell a big, huge, ugly, nasty rat!

Keep up with what you are doing! What you did with the phone call was perfect, and you showed her that you aren't one to break down easily! Yes, you had a hard time with what was going on, but you handled it like a pro, and I would see what your rights are as far as harrassment!

On a slightly different note, is your H still watching Lilbit this week? I couldn't remember when the 2 week thing started. And, other than that, how was your time with her?

I'll keep you guys in my prayers.

Love,

Tigger

Tigger,

Yes, H is watching Lil Bit again this week.
This makes week 3... where is that Sitter???

I don't care... I am glad that our little angel is HOME where she needs to be... with people that love her and will protect her.

As I was thinking yesterday and today...
it seems odd... that I got that call while exOW was at work... and that we had Lil Bit at the time...
I really feel that exOW is behind this, somewhere.

Thanks again for the support!

jmo
but it sounds as if this other person is trying to make every one involved look bad, I dont think ow woman would have someone call you and tell you she was committing child abuse at that very moment.. a little to weird dont ya think.. Not that they dont all sound like trash, but this is a little too far out. I owuld call police and cps and get a restraining order if you can.

I agree, totally a bunch of Weirdos...

I am curious if there is a possiblity that exOW is about to fold.
She stated in the beginning, and many times since to others, that she does not want this child.(Plus, it is evident that the only reason she hangs on is for revenge)

I believe she may be sabotaging herself. Make someone else look like the bad guy for "taking" the child from her. Just like she did with the boy.
She does not want the responsiblity of raising a child, she only wants people to feel sorry for her for losing her children.

A pathetic way to live, IMHO.

Ok.. here's a couple of questions...

How do I go about getting a restraining order on someone that I only know their first name??
Let alone the fact that the only form of harrasment that we have, so far, has been on the telephone?
How do you stop someone from calling the place that your H works?

H's co-worker said that WannaBe called there Sunday night... but H said she didn't call last night...

I am so sick of these da*& foolish women.

I look forward to my IC session tomorrow...
I pray that this helps me move forward.
I feel like I have been sitting still for a long time.

*sigh* And then things like this take place and I begin sliding back.
But, I think this time, I engaged the brakes much quicker! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Your husband doesnt know her name ?

I am not sure what you would do if you didnt know the name, I odnt have a clue, I think they are all sick... she may decide it is easier to let your husband have the child, you just never know.

Takes all kinds.

We know exOW's full name, but not WannaBe's.

Right now, WannaBe is my big problem.
ExOW is being held in check.
At least the stuff we can see. Its the stuff behind the scenes that I have suspicions about.

Stacia,
You do have her phone number? Maybe call the cops and ask what you can do? I know there are few husbands on this board that are cops. Maybe, someone can give you some advice. I know Twiisty H is a cop.

Dawn

Excellent idea, Dawn!

I DO have WannaBe's phone #. She gave it to me the other day and I did call her back Friday night and she answered it.

I have blocked her number so that she cannot call the house.
She has my cell number and I would like to keep ANY and all contact through me.
The fact that she has the phone number where H works really bothers me.

I hope that WannaBe learns soon to stop calling him.
She may be 23, have cancer and dying; but that does not give her a license to go after any MM...
Least of all My H! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

UGH!!!!

You must feel better with your husband now declaring his love for you and reassuring you after acting so detached at the counselor's office. He could have just been embarrassed and geeked out in front of a stranger/woman/counselor...who knows?

If you feel in your gut that he is telling the truth, then forge ahead. This has been another terrible experience for you and your family and I am so sorry you are going through this. The stuff you have had to listen to is disgusting, especially about the XOW in the hotel doing the nasty in front of her little boy. I worry about children subjected to this kind of smarminess because it sets the stage for some horrible criminal life. The Wanna-Be Ow has really got to be a sick, sick person to create such disharmony and waste time chasing a MM. Where did she get the idea your hsuband wanted anything to do with her? Did he give her some kind of encouragement?

Your husband could just be really embarrassed that he went so low and has a tough time talking about it in front of someone he just met, counselor or not. It isn't exactly something anyone would want to discuss.

Oh, Stacia...what a mess. I'll keep you and your husband in my prayers...and say a special prayer for Lil Bit and her poor brother. How despicable to do this to children...I can't beleive these people are allowed to have and KEEP these kids when they are so unfit. If people stopped turning their backs on God and followed His commandments and if the media stopped promoting the filth we see on TV, maybe people would put some dignity back in their lives. So sad all that we have lost. So sad that there are no more penalties or shame connected with disgusting behavior...anything goes. There was a time when people would be ashamed for such behavior and decent people would ostracise them for trying to put a wedge in a mariage or harming children. Unfortunately, in our "anything goes" and "everything is acceptable" society, we are going the way of ancient Rome.

Catnip =^^=

<small>[ August 27, 2002, 11:25 AM: Message edited by: catnip ]</small>

Stacia,

Call your phone company. If you let them know you're receiving harassing phone calls, they can assist you with the logging and tracking of incoming calls from the party in question.

OB1

WannaBe claims not to have my home number.
I have her number blocked just in case she does.

My biggest question about that original call...

Who had me on 3-Way?

WannaBe had someone on 3-way and the chatline, "G" doesn't have 3-way, and "D" dropped offline.
Who had me connected? How was I in that chatroom?

I believe that there was another person present and listening to that conversation. Who is the real question. Who but the 2 other people in that room had my home #?

My only conclusion is exOW.