I would like to say I am truly sorry for any one who I have offended, I would never offend on purpose.
Yes at one time in my life I was an OW.. i AM NO longer one and will not be again.
I made a mistake and am trying to move past it.
I have a marriage and I am working on it with all the mess that goes along with having another child and visitation and such.
It isnt easy for his wife to deal with this I know that, but I dont vent here for his wife, I do so for me, because it is not easy for me to be in these people lives lal the time either...
But I must for my daughter and have to continue.

When I have a complaint, I am just dealing with my issues, and yes I have triggers as well it is not easy sharing your child with someone else and , my husband and I have issues with that and we are parents we worry about our children, little things like the fact that when they fought the other night, no one gave my daughter a bath and she came home the next morning in the same thing I sent her int he day before, was I mad. YOU BET i WAS.. but did I cause a fight or start anything.. no I let it go this time, I am a mom, i do have strong feelings.

But I dont say things about my life to hurt any one here. I just talk about me, because it helps me and some have been very supportive to me.

For those that are upset because of my feelings or thoughts or dont like the relationship I have with mm and his wife.. I think we should respectfully disagree and leave it alone.
I have no desire to constantly defend my self and I dont think others want to either. if you have polite questions or thoughts they are most welcome if not, that is ok as well.

again I am very sorry I am not making light of any ones life or situation, we have all been through pain.
My situation is different than most on here, but it is life and we have to work it out.

I like marriage builders and have learned many things to help my marriage and I am working on husband to get counceling. I am not here to hurt you or make fun of your life, i dont think any of it is funny and just because your life may be different than mine doesnt make it untrue or wrong. Just makes it different.

any comments from me that you find disrespectful to your individual life, please let me know and I will apologize to you. when I make statements about my life and mmm/ and his wife, it is just that my life, I am not critisizing you or making fun, please do not take it that way.

<small>[ August 21, 2002, 10:36 AM: Message edited by: mom of five ]</small>

Mo5,

I just had to jump on here and say ... I personally was not offended by you on your thread about how to deal with the xMM's wife. You had a valid concern and i thought you got some good advise.

What i did have a problem with was CMiranda's comments to which I responded.

Now ... I was bothered with your response to my post with the scripture:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Matthew 7:1
Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">and your comments:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
ok guys I see no point in this..

DO YOU ?

This is between her and her god and not any of your business.. I think you should move on and I also think cmiranda you owe them no explanation.

Our lives are all different and we have all sinned, I see no reason to point fingers and this is not bible class and you are not God.
Lets discuss something that actually has a reason besides pointing fingers.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">because in my post I was not judging CM ... I just wanted her to acknowledge that if she was Christian she would have to answer to him for her actions.

And contrary to your comment "it's none of your business" she made it our business when she decided to post on a openly viewed forum. If she wanted it private ... she would have kept it such.

I felt your response to my thread with the verse from Matthew was inappropriate as I was addressing CM and trying to get her to think about the comments she made.

I wasn't trying to get you or any other WS riled up on the forum.

I think you often jump to her defense before she even gets a chance to digest what anyone has posted to her. As a support group we are here to provoke thought as well as support. I thought my post was thought provoking .... and not a judgement.

I would hate to think that you though I was trying to start a riot. That's not the case. I had a difference of opinion with CM, thought she was a spiritual woman and wanted her to think about what the bible said regarding what she has admitted to doing. Nothing more, nothing less.

I guess I grow weary of not being able to have a conversation with CM without you throwing up the armour and pulling our your sword.

Just my thoughts, since you brought it up. I wasn't going to say anything and let it ride, but since you asked .... I answered.

Z. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Thats fair zebra I will be aware of that from now on. thank you for pointing it out. I will try my best to srespect that.
My main concern was, that I cant vent or share if I am not allowed to say anything negative about my situation with out people being offended. I just wanted to let people know it wasnt about them , it was my situation and sometimes things are not so nice thats all.

I would like to join Momof5 in apologizing for upsetting or hurting anyone's feelings on this forum. In the time that I have been here, I have tried my best to help others and to keep an open mind about the thoughts and ideas of others.

As Momof5 said, we all have issues (or we would not be here) and triggers that sometimes bring out the worst in us. I thought long and hard before posting the other day. And, as I stated in my post, Momof5 was not disrespectful in the past. But, CM is close to her and I imagine that she tries to support her friend when there are attacks.

I usually disregard the squabbling on MB. But this time, something truly bothered me and continues to bother me.

I check every time I lurk to see who else has been lurking. I see the names of so many individuals who used to be active posters and I know still have turmoil in their lives or have the ability to truly guide and help others. Rather than post, they now just lurk. I mostly lurk because the atmosphere of this board becomes so unpleasant at times. And, there are things going on in my life that I would like to share with those I have built relationships with on MB but I don't feel comfortable to do so.

I would prefer to say to members of our group -- if you don't feel comfortable, let's see if we can make things easier, rather than say -- if you don't like it, leave.

This is not a social club and we are not swapping recipes. We are people with a unique situation that threatens to destroy our marriages, our self-esteem, our lives. Some truly need this forum to survive, and we need to be more compassionate to each other.

So, please accept my apologies. The wonderful thing about life is that every single day you have the opportunity to start over if you want it. Well, I am grabbing it and moving on.

love,
heavenly

Peace & Blessings

I enjoy reading what everyone wrote. For a minute here, I thought I was in the wrong forum. I will continue to post and just hope that I get the help I need.

To MOF

I have to ask does OM & W have a confrontation whenever he has your daughter? If that's the case I think W is having a hard time digesting, the fact her H has a child. Or do you think he could be using your child to upset her?

My H lives in another state. We talk very regular now since OW is out of the picture, he still see his OC every other weekend if he doesn't have to work he brings the OC to where he lives.

H is being open about reconciling with me, OW lives in a different state from My H. I was reading Surviving An Affair and it stated break off all contact.

It never address the issue, what to do if a OC is envolved unless, I haven't gotten to that chapter yet.

I just wonder, how will this affect me if he moves bach home with visitation and all.

No they dont have a confrontation every time, if they did They would not have my daughter.

I am sure she has good days and bad days like every one else.