A few thoughts to share with you....

1) My post on MO5 thread came in in the middle of chaos and all I was trying to do was bring some calm to the middle of the storm. I do not see how saying what I said constituted being the "occassional poster who chimed in for their camp" as you put it.

2) No, I dont post EVERY DAY as some people do on here, but I read it daily, and I only say something when I feel I have something postive to contribute to any particular thread. But I am a MEMBER... not a junior member, or occassional poster as you put it. So I dont post every day so that doesnt give me a right to say something when I have something to say? I think not.

3)I am a BS... and I am a FWS. Therefore I do belong on BOTH sides of the fence thank you very much. My H is a BS and a FWS and he post once in a blue moon on here but reads it daily also. He belongs here too. This board does not belong to just the BS.. for every BS there is a WS and they belong here too.

4) I am always as polite as I can be when post and I try not to trigger anyone or set anyone off. Not that I havent had triggers from BS on here either. It works both ways, we equally trigger each other. But the bottom line is we ALL can learn from each other.

5) WS are not a minority on here, you can tell that much from the responses to the polls asking the various WS's questions. And if someone is asking questions of the WS then there is obviously something they are wanting to know or learn. I know that I have learned many things from different BS on here and I appreciate their honesty.

6) I am sorry to single you out on this thread in the misdt of all the chaos that has been going on here for the past few days but it seemed that a few things were being directed my way, in a round about way with a few things you said. If you have a problem with me, then just come out and say so. We can deal with it OFF the board in email as to not take up anymore space arguing over all this.

7) If what you were saying was not directed towards me with your "occassional poster posting for your camp" then please disregard this post all together. It just seemed it was directed towards me since I made the "make the peace" post on that thread.

Anyway.. thats all I wanted to say. Just wanted to clear the air in case it needed clearing.

Ann
a_points@yahoo.com

Hey,
Was just reading your thread and I could be wrong, catnip is perfectlly capable of speaking for her darn self <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> but, I doubt if she was referring to you. I think she was more referring to the OW who are sort of "drive-by" posters... You know, they just jump in on threads, don't ever share their story, kinda inflammatory and you never hear back from them again... That sort of thing.

I see from your screenname that you are a MB "member" so I really doubt if catnip was addressing you personally. It still takes time to develop the thick skin we all need to keep hanging around here and trying to help others tho, I must admit! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Dear ALC

BTDT is exactly right...i did not mean you specifically at all. In fact, I didn't even think of you in relation to this issue and was referring to the "drive-by's" (great analogy BTDT)

I do understand that you have the ability to see things from both sides of the aisle because of your life journeys and trials. I admit I am just so frustrated that sometimes in order to create some kind of shake up to shock people out of their denial or malaise, I will intentionally pick a fight when I have seen that common dialogue and the offering of advice continues to be ignored and dismissed.

I want healing for all...and if means being a jerk to get a response, make someone mad enough to look at the situation and possibly speed up healthy changes, then call me guilty as charged.

One of my nicest traits is that I have never cared much what people think of me which gives me the freedom to say things other people want to but are too nice to do so, for fear of huering someone's feelings. My philosophy is to not coddle and to be honest, but to give support and empathy when obviously required. I mean, there are tiems when the demons get so bad and you feel so sad and heartbroken, you need to be treated sweetly. But, if all we do is treat each other sweetly and never confront the demons, the demons hang around much longer than they need to, retarding recovery.

I am sorry if you thought I had you in my crosshairs. I can see where you might feel that way, but I assure you, I did not mean you. I think you give great advice and I know you are a bonafide member of this site and belong here.

You know, I sit here and read all these well-meaning posters say "Let's stop this bickering and just get along". Those are great intentions and something we would all like, but the high emotions, ddeep passions and volitility of this site pretty much makes that an unrealistic expectation, especially with so many strong personalities. It's gonna keep happening from time to time, and I am just going to accept the fact that that is part of who we are and the nature of the beast. I believe that a lot of good can come from these difficult and sometimes nasty debates.

CM is having a difficult evolution and I understand her more than she knows and have deep, deep compassion for her. I absolutely disagree with her on so many, many levels, but despite the juxtaposition of our stances, I like her fire. In time she will come to terms with her situation and when she stops feeling victimized and sees that even I, probably especially me, have nothing but her best interests at heart because I know she is suffering deeply right now and this whole thing is a living hell for her but she is trapped in fear and denial. For me to ignore this and just go along with everything she says and not challenge her is a great disservice. If she hates me, that's fine. I certainly don't care, this is not a popularity contest...this is survival. And sometimes we have to say and do things to shake things up, like it or not.

OK...have a great day ALC.

Catnip =^^=

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