I have not posted for quite a while and even then only occasionally. My H had affair which resulted in OC who is now approx 11 months old. H was extremely remorseful, we went to counseling, we were trying to work things out. H couldn't decide whether he was going to be part of OC's life or not, I said I couldn't deal with it if he was. AFter OC was born, H took a downward spiral emotionally (had history of depression) and ended up in psych ward for 2 weeks...was suicidal, paranoid, extremely psychotic. Got out, seemed a little better for a while (all the while under treatment of psychologist and psychiatrist). 5 months ago he took his own life, leaving me with our 2 young children. So, my point in all this is, if anyone dealing with these difficult issues has any symptoms of depression, please, please get to a very good psychiatrist IMMEDIATELY!!!!

Sorry, I hit the wrong button and posted before I was done.

The first person my husband saw for his depression was a psychologist and in hindsight, didn't really help him. H didn't see a psychiatrist until he was in the hospital and it turned out he wasn't very good. My gut kept telling me to change doctors but H didn't want to. Who knows, but I think that if H had a different doc he might be alive today.

Mental illness, depression in particular, is not always looked upon as an actual illness and is frequently kept a secret. It can be devastating. Don't take any symptoms of depression in yourself or a loved one lightly. GET HELP before it's too late!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I am very sorry for your loss and the loss for your children.
God be with you.

Oh Callie!!!!! I'm so sorry for your loss!
You are quite right when you state that any form of depression needs to be dealt with right away. I'm glad I was put on anti-depressants and got the help that I needed.
PLEASE take care of yourself and keep us updated on you, if you need anything, please do not hesitate to post!
Praying for you and hugs, ((((((CALLIE))))))
Twiisty

Oh Callie,
I am so sorry. hugs.(((CALLIE))))

Dawn

Dear Lord, Callie, what a tragic story. I'm so sorry for your loss and your children's loss.

{{{{{{{{{{{{callie}}}}}}}}}}}

Hug and prayers,
J

Dear God, Callie...but for the grace of God.

I am speechless...absolutely horrified. I am so deeply sorry.

I need to know, did the bad psychiatrist put your husband on any medication to adjust his brain chemistry...like neurontin or depakote?

Are you and your chidlren being looked after by family and friends?

Dear Lord, comfort Callie and her children during this difficult time of loss and confusion. Surround them with your grace and comfort. Protect them from evil and bless them with love and peace. And guide them toward Your will for them. Bring peace to the troubled soul of her husband and forgive him his sin. Amen.

Love

Catnip =^^=

Catnip,
My husband was not on either of the medications that you mentioned. He was on Prozac and one other that I can't remember. He was also on meds, as needed, for when he was in an agitated state.

My children and I have lots of friends, family and a supportive church family that has helped a lot.

Thanks everyone for your hugs and prayers.

My hope at this point is the the OW leaves me alone now. A couple of months ago she got an attorney, trying to get money from me. My H didn't leave anything to her or the OC and she's really mad about that! I don't feel I owe her or OC anything. What she did was completely her choice and now she will have to support OC on her own.

My heart goes out to you, and you'll be in my prayers. May God keep you and your family close and filled with his warmth.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by callie300:
<strong>
My husband was not on either of the medications that you mentioned. He was on Prozac and one other that I can't remember. He was also on meds, as needed, for when he was in an agitated state.

Those quacks should be sued, Callie. Shame on them for not seeing how desperate he was. Maybe I am talking out of turn and making things worse...that is not my intent, however, I easily could have been where you are right now in January 2000. Fortunately for Bipolar (my husband) he was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder and immediately put on neurontin and zoloft. He was monitored regularly and he is doing very well today.

My children and I have lots of friends, family and a supportive church family that has helped a lot.

Thank God...it is such a relief to hear this, Callie. How are the kids coping? How are you coping?

My hope at this point is the the OW leaves me alone now. A couple of months ago she got an attorney, trying to get money from me.

OUTRAGEOUS!!! Unbelievable.

My H didn't leave anything to her or the OC and she's really mad about that!

Gee, that's too dam bad, isn't it? She'll have to get a job. Did he even have a will, or if he did, had he even have the presence of mind to update it at all?

I don't feel I owe her or OC anything.

She owes YOU.

What she did was completely her choice and now she will have to support OC on her own.

That would certianly be my stance on it.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I hope you are taking good care of yourself, Callie and I hope you are doing OK financially.

Love

Catnip =^^=

OMIGOSH! How sad... I'm not sure if there is any way to really talk someone out of suicide if they are determined. I am sorry that your H's illness got the best of him. When I was a teen, my father committed suicide. He probably had some mental problems that went undiagnosed. It took me years to realize that my father's decision to commit suicide was very extremely selfish and not my fault, tho. For a long time I thought there was something - anything I could have done to prevent it, but there wasn't--it was his decision and to me, it seemed like a selfish one... My hugs and prayers are with you & your kids also.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> xOW has a lot of nerve!!! But if your H was working and paid Social Security, I think the govt might grant her OC some death benefits that are equally divided between all three kids until they are 18, or have jobs paying a certain amt...

<small>[ August 26, 2002, 02:29 AM: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</small>

Dear Callie,

I am so sorry for your loss. Your H must have been in a great deal of pain to make such a terrible decision. I have also experienced the loss of a loved one to suicide and, as BTDT says, you review so many things in your mind and accuse yourself for not having seen signs or done enough.

Please don't torture yourself that way. Unfortunately, some medications that are used to treat personality disorders and mood swings have the side effect of making the subject suicidal. There are so many different variables as to what your H was going through, you will drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out.

Right now you must be strong for your children. As Catnip said I hope that you are financially sound so that you don't have to worry about that right now. I will remember you and your family in my prayers and ask God to give you strength to cope with your situation and move forward with your life.

love,
heavenly

Dear Callie,

Words fail at times like these. I pray that you and your children find a safe place in the hollow of God's hand and that you feel his loving protection for the rest of your lives.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

My husband is very depressed right now and is talking about suicide (in sideways comments). He is not seeing anyone for talk therapy but our family doc put him on an antidepressant. I have been getting so tired of carrying him financially, emotionally and always trying to "fix him" for the damage that he did to himself with his affair. He had an upswing when we adopted the boys but he is spiraling down now as we have severe financial problems. What bothers me the most is that he seems to enjoy being miserable and hopeless. It is like badge of honor for what a "rotten" person he was to have an affair. I was getting so tired of carrying his burdens, that I was about to give up trying and say I didn't care what he did (meaning go ahead, kill yourself, it is becoming apparent that you are not going to seek necessary help and that I am unable to prevent this), but your message brought me up short. I will renew my efforts to get him to get the help he needs.

MJ

Hang in there all... Prayers & faith will get us through the tough times. Don't give up!