sorry to have been so long getting back to you regarding your questions.

you wrote:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I agree with you on this. It can be very hard to admit you have wronged someone. I have admitted my wrongs. I am curious, was there a good chance your H was the father, and that is why she thought it was him? Did she really just blatantly lie about it? Also, how did you discover your H's A and the pregnancy? I'm just curious, I don't really know your story that well, just that the child turned out not to be his.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well you first question was there a good chance? I guess there was a fair chance. They slept together about two or three times before she got pregnant.

After d-day when I questioned her I asked her if she was sure my H was the father. She swore up and down that she ALWAYS used condoms with her live in boyfriend and only used them once with my H. She swore she hadn't been with BF during the time of conception. And that she was 100% sure with the dates Being a woman who knows her body well, I believed she did too.

Turns out ... she lied. She had slept with BF during the time of conception WITHOUT a condom.

She wanted my H to be the father so she just claimed it.

I discovered the affair from H. The day after he intercepted an email from OW to me telling the whole story of the affair and OC. He had just told her he wasn't leaving me for her and OC. She was angry that her plot didn't work. I guess she had hoped that I would toss his [censored] out after discovery. She was wrong.

She continued to solicit him for sex often after d-day hoping to draw him away from our marriage. That didn't work either. She gladly accepted thousands of dollars, food, furniture, toys and clothes knowing full well there was a possibility that H was not the father.

I'll never know for sure whether or not she knew for sure. But my guess is she did. And to this day she has yet to apologize to me. She has not offered to repay any money that was paid to her.

Selfish, yes. I can think of many times my kids did without so we could make "her" payment on time.

I hope that gives you a clear picture to my story.

Z.

Hi Z
This ow sounds exactly like Ow my H was-envolved with. My H and I was separated at the time so her plan worked. Even though my H and I was still intimate with each other it didn't make a bit of difference.

Ow wanted My H to divorce me and marry her he lived with her but didn't marry her he recently
left OW. To get even with H. she married someone else.

Ow was sleeping with someone for 6mos while living with my H. Ow told H since you don't want me some one else does. My H left but H believes this OC is his. H loves this OC so much he talks about her more so than his older daughter.

That was another ploy of OW to get H away from his older daughter so he could become attached to OC Ow had H. baby sitting while she worked knowing this would draw him closer to OC.

Ow made a statement if her marriage don't work she coming back to my H now isn't that arrogant
Ow act like I don't exist and maybe that's what she want but I do exist.

I'm glad your H had his eyes open My H eyes are closed right now they will open soon I know how prayer works.

Thanks Z, I appreciate you responding (I had forgotten I even asked). I'm sorry you had to go thru that. I bet your H considers it a hard lesson learned, that's what I am thinking of my A.

FMWB,

I think that's what the vast majority of men feel once they are shaken awake from the fog of the affair. Something about conceiving a child seems to jolt many men ... or at least force them to do some self examination.

Without the birth of the OC I may well be divorced right now, or my H would be happily romping with OW behind my back.

Scarey, but somehow it was a blessing ... in disguise!

MALC,

Yes indeed, prayer is powerful. I remember many a dark night when it seemed no resolution was in sight, H and i prayed together. Both of us crying for guidance, wisdom and the strength to see the right road. Even now we pray together for ourselves, our marriage and our family.

Keep saying those prayers ... and I know it's hard, but pray for OW too. Pray to soften her heart and that she may discover the bliss of living in God's will.

Many OW can be bears. And it takes them a long while to get our husbands out of their system. I'll post a thread later about mine resurfacing just last week at a last ditch attempt to snag my H back into her web. It took me a few days to muster the strength and supress the anger but I prayed for her. You can too.

Z.