I am looking for some good, honest discussion--pros, cons, and everything else--and I know I will find it here.

Have any of you adopted a child (not an OC) after you discovered and dealt with the infidelity/pregnancy/birth/OC situation?

A little background on me: some of you who have read my previous posts (I'm a new poster) know that I am unable to carry a child to term. I found out on my d-day, 5/5/02, that H had a one-nighter with a "mutual friend" in 4/01 and became a father of a daugher on 1/10/02.

My specific worry is the background study and the personal questionnaire that is a part of the home study/agency interview process. I also worry about the family biography that would be read by the potential birth mother. I can see this being a HUGE red flag to a agency case worker.

I have contacted a few agencies and have been totally honest with them about our situation, because I don't want to waste my time on something that's not going to happen. I will have to say that they have been accomodating and encouraging.

Anything you have to share would be welcome. TIA <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ September 05, 2002, 08:28 AM: Message edited by: MaryJanes ]</small>

MaryJanes--Got it; you can delete now.

Thanks--Farm Girl

FG,
We are in the midst of adopting internationally, but we are several years beyond the affair. We were honest re:OC (they have all the info), but our agency chose to leave out the OC in the homestudy.

More later,
Good luck!
J
in recovery 4y and happy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />