Warning, Warning--this is long!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I've wrote a letter to H and I would like some thoughts on whether it sounds good (any changes?) or if I should even bother with giving it to him. I'm on a deadline though so need help ASAP (H will be home around noon tomorrow). Okay here goes (I hope this doesn't sound too stupid)....

Dear H,

I would like to talk to you right now, but you're onstage working at this time. Sooo, I'm writing this letter in the hopes that you will read and try to understand--also so maybe I can get this off my chest and get some sleep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> !!

I've already apologized to you for hurting your feelings and worrying you this weekend. I understand that you were worried when you didn't know where I was and I also understand how you feel when I ask others to fix things on the Jeep for me (didn't realize this until you told me though).

I would like to highlight some of the positive things I did do that I'm proud of. I've already told you that the people at work gave me $112.00 Friday at my going away party--they also told me that I was to use the money on something for me, not to pay bills with it-just use it for something fun for me. I planned on the way home (actually started planning the minute I saw the money, lol) to use the money they gave me to buy the one tire and use the rest to get my nail repaired and get a pedicure since I've never had one. When I got to the tire place I noticed that the back tire on the driver's side was splitting. I figured quickly in my head and said I would use all the money they gave me and add about ten dollars (since I had already budgeted 65 for the tire it wouldn't hurt) of my own money to get two tires. I had them put the good one on the front to the back and put two news tires on the front. While they were changing the tire, they showed the brake pad that didn't exist anymore and the rotor where it was starting to get ruts on it. While I was waiting for them to finish, I thought, "Okay I've budgeted 65 dollars for the tire so I should be able to afford brake pads without hurting my budget." So I left the tire place and went to O'Reilly's. While there I checked on the price for the belt that's been needing to be replaced. I found that I could get both the brake pads and the belt for around $50.00 so I went ahead and got both since they were needed and still didn't hurt budget. I have the receipt if you would like to see it. I did get my nail repaired since that's a budgeted item (LOL), but did not get the pedicure since it would have had to come out of my budgeted money. I, personally, am proud of what I did money-wise and hope that you will see it too.

This next part is the hardest to convey so please listen with your heart and try to understand. I feel at this time the best thing for BOTH OF US to do when we get upset is to tell the other person what upset us and what we would rather happen in the future. Instead of arguing about it, let it go then and see if the changes are made. If not, it's up to the individual to decide if they can live with it or not. BUT we both have to be willing to stop and tell each other what is upsetting us and what we would rather happen or we'll both be walking around not knowing. All we can do is hope the other is willing to give what we need.

I want to let you know that I'm willing to give 100% to our relationship if you are. I am trying my best, but as long as I don't feel that you are giving 100% then there will always be a part of me holding back. This is for my own protection and I'm sure you can understand what I'm saying.

If you would like to discuss this, I'm willing - just let me know. I will not willingly or knowingly add any more chinks to our marriage so I will not fight with you--I will walk away to cool off first so don't get upset if I have to put myself in "time out".

I love you and have always loved you.

Your wife,
Dumplin

Okay, what do you think? Also should I type this or hand write it--if we (me and you MBer's) all agree to it?????? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Oops forgot to add the PS part.

"P.S. During all the confusion, I neglected to tell you that I got a new cell phone since the other one was broken. It will be charged (29.99) to my next cell phone bill so I didn't have to pay anything right now. I did this during lunch Friday afternoon so while we were discussing Friday night and Saturday morning I didn't think about telling you."

Didn't mention that cell phone was broke because he broke the antenna off throwing it across the room during an argument, lol. Figured he would remember that one.

I think you handled your money responsibly , I am sure your husband will apppreciate that if that is one of his needs.

When you have a husband who is away as much as he is you have to learn to do for your self or find someone who can help you, like a friend or relative, it doesnt mean you are saying husband can not do it, just that you know how busy he is and this way when he comes home instead of spending his free time doing honey do's he is spending time with you.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I've already apologized to you for hurting your feelings and worrying you this weekend. I understand that you were worried when you didn't know where I was and I also understand how you feel when I ask others to fix things on the Jeep for me (didn't realize this until you told me though).
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I would leave off the part(didn't realize this until you told me though).


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I want to let you know that I'm willing to give 100% to our relationship if you are. I am trying my best, but as long as I don't feel that you are giving 100% then there will always be a part of me holding back. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You should give one hundred percent because you love him and he will in turn see that you love him . Your making a deal, I dont think it will set well.
I ll do this if you do this, doesnt always work.
But over all, I think it is a good letter.

Hello,
I agree with mof5. I do think typing it is o.k.

Dawn

Thanks ladies.

MOF, I wasn't really trying to make a deal with him--was trying to let him see that how can he expect 100% from me when he's not giving it. Maybe I worded it wrong, but I see what you're saying and I'll take that part out. Nice to hear from you again <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> How are things on your end?

Dawn,

Thanks. I think I will type it because it's just easier on both of us. I'm a computer person and would rather type than write (or sometimes even talk hee hee).

With love,

Does this sound better?

"I want to let you know that I'm do my best to give 100% to our relationship. However, as long as I don't feel that you are giving 100% then there will always be a part of me holding back. This is for my own protection and I'm sure you can understand what I'm saying."

I think however and but are words you should not use, they will most likely be lb's and set him off to defend him self.
I see your point but men do not think the way we think

How's about if I take the However and the then out of the sentence? H should be home anytime so I have to hurry.

Dumplin,
That sounds good!

Dawn

Thanks Dawn. I'll let everyone know what H's reaction is later on.

Thanks to all of you for all your help!!

No response as of yet. I don't even know for sure if he's read the letter. I know he spent some time in his room and the letter was moved, but I don't know. I'm not letting it get to me. H has been acting strange since he got home; I don't know if it's because he's tired or what. He's acting depressed and withdrawn so I don't know what's up with him.

Oh well, all I can say is I tried with the letter.