Hi Angel I'm glad to no you are doing ok.
this is a long hard process. Especially when you want to be first.

Aimee2 Your story just touch my heart, I believe these women have these children to get the man and some are almost successful.

My H never saw the traps, and still doesn't believe there were no traps he thinks OW is innocent even though she cheated on H and married the guy she cheated with.

My H unlike yours, I wish my H was there wanting to work things out he tells me he have to get his self together H doesn't want a relationship.

I'm so angry because H seems to be back and forth in his mood swing, for real I'm dumb founded on what to do.

Sometimes I don't know if I'm coming or going. Don't mean to hijack your thread Angel I just needed to dump.

Tonight I called H we talked we were on a three way with a mutual friend. Our friend told me after we got off the phone, I was so hostile towards H she told me I need to let the anger go.

How do you do that? H has contact with ow they are buddie buddie. I don't want this we are not on the same page. A part of me just want out I'm waiting on the other half of me to catch up.

H told me he'll talk to me later he was going to take a shower, I thought he was in for the night I called back to discuss my anger no one answered the phone. I should have known the way he rushed me off the phone he was going out .

This is the kind of thing that keeps me angry and other things that he does. I feel I have no say so. I'm on the back burner, baby comes first I wonder why do I even waste my time . Just needed to vent.

I do real good not calling H then all of a sudden I'm calling again this is so sad. I'm really addicted to this person and the pain.

H told me if I divorce him he'll never marry again
we were talking about someone cheating on you Hfeels is not as bad if you are separted H thinks it's ok

My H has it in the back of his mind that I will do to him what he done to me. You can't win when someone thinks that way. I just don't know what to do he wants to be alone to do as he please no drama.

Thanks for the stories and advice. My Father just called that my Mother is dying. I will need to fly to Texas to be there. I haven't talked to my H and will call my Dad back to see how Mom is. She is on Hospice so it is just a matter of time. We are still in the process of moving. Stuff at one place and more stuff at another. Keep us in your prayers. I'll update later.

I'm so sorry about your MOM when it rains it pours. This reminds me My H left me when 2 of my favorite cousin passed I felt so alone.

Keep us posted.

Hi Angel
I was just wondering how are you?
You are in my prayers I'm letting you know
you are not alone OK.

AngelStrength,

My prayers are with you. I know you're with your Mom.

I hadn't read this thread and when I did, my heart went out to you.

Please update us when you can.

love
Debi

Dear Angel,

I would like to join Malc and Gemini in sending prayers your way. Update us when you can but just know you are in our minds and hearts this Thanksgiving season.

May He raise you up on eagle's wings,
heavenly

My Mother passed away last Wednesday night. We had music playing and my son, brother and I were there. Dad called on the phone because he felt her spirit sliping away. We put the phone up to her ear and she closed her eyes. We had a graveside service. She would have liked it, it was a celebration of life. We had a friend play the bagpipes. My H came and brought my other son. His parents drove down from Denver. H went back but my sons and I will spend Thanksgiving here with Daddy and my brother and family. H has been moving things from the house to the townhouse. He has called several times. He plans on having T-day dinner with Ow and OC's. He ask if he could use my mixer. I said only if he thought of me when he used it. What a mixed up guy. My Dad doesn't know. He thinks so much of him. He is worried about him being alone for Thanksgiving. I hope he isn't thankful this time. He said to have a good T-day but I can't say the same to him. I will head home Friday. Thanks for the prayers and concern. My mom is at peace now. She was a beautiful person both inside and out. She touched many lives.

Dear Angel,

My sincere condolences on your loss. I know exactly what you mean about your mom's funeral being a celebration of life. My own mom passed away last December 4th. The relatives who fell down in the aisles of the church, crying and lamenting about her were the ones she had not seen in years.

For myself, I loved my mom and did everything I could for her while she was alive. Although I knew I would miss her always, I was happy that her soul had been released from the daily pain and suffering of life. Our moms are both in better places. God will take care of them now.

As for your H and his request for the blender. I would have granted the request gladly and then booby-trapped the blender. I agree with you, he sounds very mixed up.

You will make it through, Angel. I hope you and your family manage to get through Thanksgiving during this difficult time.

Sending prayers,
love,
heavenly

Hi Angel
I'm sorry for the passing of your Mom. I know she will be missed. Like you said it was a celebration of life. I'm sorry you H hasn't come out of the fog yet. I pray eventually he will get there like my H, I pray for.

Just please keep us informed how things are with you OK. I'm going through some things myself
but, I'm not going to burden you with them. You have enough to deal with I will continue to pray for you.

Dear Angel....I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.

Catnip =^^=

Angelstrength,
I'm so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.
love
Debi

Thanks for your care, concern and prayers. I know my Mother is singing with the angels. I find myself rather blue with Christmas fast approaching. I'm not really completely moved into the townhouse and out of the other. I always love decorating for Christmas but with everything a mess who knows when I will get to it. I have a major birthday soon. I don't know H plans but this will be the first Christmas without him. Oldest son comes home this week. I want to make birthday and Christmas great in spite of H. I know it is hard on all of us in this unthinkable situation. All I want for Christmas is my H back.
I am thankful for great friends, wonderful family and incrediable sons who support and love me.

angel,
I'm so sorry about you losing your mom. It sounds like your family handled it well.

And sorry your H is still in a fog--gracious! So much grief at once! Is he still active duty? If so, does anyone at work realize what he's doing? Some branches of the service punish adulterers...

Prayer for you, your family, and your marriage,
J

My H retired this summer and then moved out. At the ceramony he expressed his appreciation to me and gave me a dozen red roses. So, he got out because he knew what could happen and he was tired after 27 years. He was a Col and well liked and respected. OW works for the Department of Defense and they worked on a project together. He has not gotten a job and takes care of the babies. I will get half of his retirement pay but without work he needs all that to pay our bills and help with college. I have may own account. Today is a very bad day for me. Good news, our oldest son comes home. Bad news I mentioned the fact that our sons don't like their father when we were arguing about money. Now he says fine, he will stay away if that is how they feel. He doesn't understand why there has to be hatred. H and OW are going to his parents for Christmas. That is a low blow! This as always been a special time for our family and he will not be there. So, I'm at work, school, trying to hold it together when I'm unraveling. This is too much for me to stand! I will talk to my friends, counselor and sons. All are supportive.
Keep praying I can't take much more.

hi Angel
I'm really sorry you are going through this. By the holidays being around the corner it doesn't make it better.

I'm just feeling for you and your sons. I pray your H comes out of the FOG before it's to late there are consequences for his action.

When last I wrote in this forum things were bad, well now I feel worse. My son came home from college, that is good but husband left us for Christmas. He left with OW and OCs with no goodbye to me. He has built a wall around himself. My birthday was the 17th and oldest son was sick. H didn't acknowledge my birthday. My friends were wonderful and the kids at school celebrated along with my co-teachers. But it was a low point. Now we are out for Christmas. My house is still filled with boxes. My sweet son put up the tree and decorated it. I usually go all out decorating but not this year. Also, my dad fell and broke his hip. I will be going to see him after Xmas for a week. I've been told by my therapist I need to find out about a divorce. H shows no desire to work things out. It really hurts to have his little family celebrating with my inlaws. I wonder whose idea this was. We never visited them. They always came to see us. H never wanted to go. I guess I need to move on. Friends have told me that I need someone better than him and that I have a lot going for me. It is hard when you love someone so much. I don't think I can take much more. Keep me in your prayers. I really need something good to happen.

Hey Angel
Sorry you are being treated this way, to cause you to feel this way. My H didn't acknowledge my birthday neither, he used an argument we had as an excuss. I really believe he had no intentions on getting me anything.

Yesterday I was feeling as you were I started Plan B.as of 12/15/02 This is my start for me. I haven't had any contact with H. I feel good about this for the first time I'm doing something about how I'm treated.

To be truthful we teach people how to treat us.
If we tolerate disrespect we are reinforcing how they treat us, so we are teaching them to disrespect us on all levels.

Angela you are going to have to take a stand for yourself.I would never tell you to divorce your H. I will tell you please don't tolerate this any longer. Have you done Plan A Plan B?

I believe Plan B is better worked when there is NC at all. If nescessary use a mediator this way he know's you are serious. You H needs to know and feel consequences for his action. Please don't wait to late like I did to make a difference, start now.

I know it's hard right now being the holidays and all. I found myself missing my H wanting to talk to him. I played my tape back all the disrespect I been through. I had to tell myself I'm setting myself up for hurt if I initiate contact.

I'm giving myself the best present, I can give myself. Taking my power back not allowing myself to be a doormat. I really feel your pain I will keep praying for you.

Thanks for your advice. My sons and I are going to make the most out of the holidays. I am being supported by my friends. They tell me they love me and are there for me. I have to move on. I will look at plan B again and see what I should do. I wish you a Merry Christmas and I hope the New Year will find us stronger and better than ever. If our Hs don' get it then too bad! Maybe they will get a wake up call before it is too late. I hope they don't have a good holiday and are filled with guilt remembering the wonderful celebrations of the past.

Thank you Angela for the Holiday wishes.
I pray we all have a safe holiday. I pray we make the best out of this holiday season, inspite of our situation. One day we will be able to look at our situation, once we overcome them and see how we have grown from this. I'm glad your friends are supportive of you that's a blessing within itself.

YOU & FAMILY HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS & A HAPPY NEW YEARS.

I guessed I survived the holidays. It may have been the worst but it was the prettiest. The snow was falling and my son said it looked like we were at a travel lodge with the snow on the pine trees and the forest. H called when he opened the pictures of the boys and thought they were fantastic. He thanked me for getting their picture made. He asked what he could do to help while I was gone to be with my Daddy. My dad is in rehab now and should be released in two weeks. His dad was put in the hospital after Christmas with an infection in his knee, the one that was replaced last spring. He has other problems and is looking at a 6 month recovery. Since they were up there, H and OW came back later than expected. I have been in contact with his family about the health of my Dad and Father-in-law. H remains distant with few calls only to ask about my dad and tell me about his. He came back and has been with the boys a few times. I have told more family and friends about my situation and all have been so wonderfully supportive. My circle of support,love, encouragement and prayers have continued to grow. It shows me how much I am loved and cared about.
Since H hasn't gotten a job and hasn't given me half of his retirement pay our financial situation is bleak. He is living with OW, who I believe gave H the trip to Denver to see his parents for Xmas as a way to get him away from us at this time. Money is a problem! Please pray for this. Continue to pray that H comes out of the fog. This year has to be better than last!