Thanks for asking about me MALC. I'm not really doing to great. Friday night I just crashed emotionally. I'd been doing a good Plan A, but honestly I think that right now I might be better off in Plan B (or a some what modified plan b). My H keeps saying he has no intention of ending our marriage, but I just don't feel like he's giving me the attention I deserve. I know that SAA says it takes about 3 weeks for any real committment to healing the marriage to take place, but with our own child on the way I feel very anxious about trying to do that now.
It's such a big adjustment to have a child, but to try & restore a marriage simulatneously is going to be even harder. Plus I'm dealing with so much guilt of "if this hadn't happened, if I didn't put him out..." and I really needed to work on putting all of that away because in the end it was HIS decision to have an affair, not mine. Sure - the climate was favorable, but I wasn't present so that's not my problem - it's his. This has just been the worse week of my life. I don't know how to best do this, but I think that I want to go to a no contact with my H until he decides to come home & fully work on our marriage. Right now, I can't emotionally deal with empty promises, I need an action. I am also very, very afraid since I'm nearing the end of my pregnancy that I'll go into labor alone and won't have the support of my H. Now he says I'm crazy for thinking that, but geez - you haven't really been here for me during it. Sure - dr appts but emotionally he hasn't been there for me since he was too wrapped up in an affair. Anyway - this is getting way too long, but I'm go to go to IC and encourage my H to do the same. He has a LOT of issues and I don't think we should continue MC until we do IC for a while. Keep praying for me as I try to rebuild what I have lost in myself.
Vee
