Well, it finally happened...

My H stayed at his parents' house last night and will probably move out this week. It was his choice, because despite all the craziness I still wanted to work things out.

I have to say that despite all my crying and upset over the weekend, I went to bed last night sighing a sigh of relief that he was gone. The tension and pain just evaporated. It is hard for me to gauge how much stress I am under until it is gone, and boy did I feel better.

Of course, he called me from his parents' house at 10 pm and said he was already regretting the decision, and has called me twice today to "say hi".

I swear that man is the KING of the "grass is greener" syndrome.

I'm gonna adopt plan B, not because he is cheating (well, who knows, really), but because I need a major break from him. I'm pretty sure I want to end it, but I am a sucker for attention and he knows it.

This is not because I don't love him, or because I don't think it could work, I just think he has thus far been unwilling to do the work necessary. I am unwilling to suffer once a year, break up, and get back together. The pattern is too confusing and hurtful to me and my son.

Any thoughts?
Thanks
EJ

EJ,

Well, from all that I can remember of your story/situation, I feel that this is best at this time! You need this time to work solely on yourself, and let H do all the work if he truly wants this M!

I will pray for your strength, since you stated that H knows you are a sucker for attention! If you would like, I will be in your area soon, and you could email me your addy or phone number, if you'd like. My email is jnk89_p@yahoo.com. I am more than willing to be a physical shoulder for you to use, if you need it!

Love,

Tigger

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by EJmom2B:
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I have to say that despite all my crying and upset over the weekend, I went to bed last night sighing a sigh of relief that he was gone.

=^^= I think this is such a peculiar phenomenon. On one hand we want the marriage and our husbands more than anything in the world yet we are relieved when they leave...what is that anyway? I've felt it and I bet most of us here have felt it at one time or another.

The tension and pain just evaporated. It is hard for me to gauge how much stress I am under until it is gone, and boy did I feel better.

=^^= It's very, very difficult for me to identify my feelings at the time of the occurance. I am so out of touch with my feelings most of the time, I end up with a delayed reaction, like getting angry two or three days later.

Of course, he called me from his parents' house at 10 pm and said he was already regretting the decision, and has called me twice today to "say hi".

=^^= Oh, Honey, he can't keep doing this to you. It is so unloving of him to torture you like this.

I'm gonna adopt plan B, not because he is cheating (well, who knows, really), but because I need a major break from him. I'm pretty sure I want to end it, but I am a sucker for attention and he knows it.

=^^= Plan B is an excellent, excellent idea, EJM. And an affectionate spaniel will give you all the attention and unconditional love you could ever dream of. Your need for attention is your achilles heal, EJM, and is the reason why this is perpetrated over and over again...he knows you so well.

This is not because I don't love him, or because I don't think it could work, I just think he has thus far been unwilling to do the work necessary. I am unwilling to suffer once a year, break up, and get back together. The pattern is too confusing and hurtful to me and my son.

=^^= All that pain eventually makes you very, very wise. And eventually, you no longer pine and are relieved instead, when they leave. I wouldn't close the door to any possibility that the marriage could be restored, because this new you might be just the thing to inspire change in your husband...might inspire him into action ...to make an effort.

I would insist on some boundaries and expectations and ask him what his boundaries and expectations are too, to keep it fair. This is where K needs to make an appearance because I get off the MB track sometimes and you need solid advice and information.

Good luck and God bless, EJM...you are in my prayers.

Catnip =^^=

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