I WANT TO DO SOMETHING THAT WILL MAKE AN IMPACT.

I had a conversation with H the other day he promise to call back he also gave me his word
but he didn't return my call until the next day.

H apologize, for not keeping his word. Something that is out of the norm for him, H said he was out drinking until he got extremly intoxicated he and his brother.

H said all he could think about was me, and the things I said to him about me filing for a divorce, me wanting too move on to see other people.

I belive this shook him up a little, my conversations all ways been about us. H went as far as aplologizing, for all that he put me through. Something he has done but not to the extent he did this time. I knew he was sincere.

He has apologized befor but not to this extreme.
H said he owes me for the rest of his life and mine, whatever I need if he has it I will get it no matter what.

H feels that I will never forgive him. H ask me a question, what is the worst thing a person could do to me, that I wouldn't be able to forgive them? I told him I will get back to him later with the answer.

Our conversation was nice, but I feel he doesn't know what next steps to take because he is unsure about me being forgiving.

So now what, I have started no contact he has told me over and over there is no other relationship. Xow calls him using OC as an excuse these are my feelings.

Really, I believe there's not to much I can do. H lives an another state from me. Xow live an another state also. Where H lives is closer to Xow than where I live.

I want to do something that will make an impact.
Any sugestions, something that will gult him, Something that will make me look more attractive then Xow.....any suggestion please

<small>[ September 17, 2002, 01:42 AM: Message edited by: MALC ]</small>

Am I hearing you correctly? Are you saying that you want to use guilt to manipulate your husband? How come you want to manipulate him with guilt? What about a more positive approach such as "detaching with love." (Do a search for BrambleRose's post on GQII--it's excellent advice, IMO!!

It seems like you have already done a little of that and it has been effective, why not keep on going down THAT path??? Keep improving yourself, keep forgiving him and her daily and that (forgiveness) will make you look more and more attractive to ANY WS!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

But seriously, I think being positive will make you attractive, not being manipulative or trying to make your H do something you want him to do through guilt or any sort of negative emotion like that. Leave the "guilting" up to the Holy Spirit. I think that would make more of a lasting impression, otherwise, he's just doing whatever he is doing to please you and I don't think it would be a permanent change. God can make permanent changes in your H. AND in you!!! Through forgiveness...

Hi BTDT


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I wanted to do something that will make an impact. Any suggestions something that will guilt him, something that will make me look more attractive. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm so sorry I meant shake him up, not make him guilty. I meant gilt, but that wasn't the word I was looking for. What you said made a lot of sense

I know being kind to H inspite of is making a big difference, even when he was trying to push me away. I understood why because of his guilt. Not taking it personal like it's was me. I would like to know, when do I draw the line? Not go over board and come out smelling like a rose in the same process.