Hello everyone!!! I downloaded an updated web browser and I was reading Vee's post and decided to see if I could possibly log on to respond to her. It worked! I have missed you all so very much. I have spoken with a few of you thru email and thank all of you for your prayers thru all I have been thru. I am going to recap what has happened in my marriage for some like Vee who are in similar situations...and to let all my beloved friends know what is now going on in my life.

September 14th was my 6 year marriage anniversary. It will also be my last. In Jan of 1998 I had my first daughter. When she was only 3 months old my H left. He was in the army and had to go to Az for "3 months". It turned out to be a year and a half. After only 3 months of being there he met ow#1. I didnt find out until the affair had been going on for 9 months. I loved my H very much and would have given my life for him and our marriage. I believe the only reason I found out was bc ow#1 became pg. I still wanted my family to work. My daughter had a right to know her father....or so was my thinking at the time. About 2 1/2 months after d-day my H and I and our now year and a half year old daughter moved to Georgia....far away from ow#1. Yeah right. OC was born in Oct 1999. H payed support for a few months and ow#1 created much havoc in our lifes. It was a living hell. H was on the fence constantly. He could never make the commitment to our life together. I did everything possible to rebuild our live together. He did every thing in his power to ruin it. He never seemed to put any effort into making it work. He said it was all "my [censored]". He put it all on me and "my issues". They werent his problem. Fast forward a bit and ow#1 was out of our lives along with the little girl (oc). I was under the impression that he did this for me and out marriage. Boy was I delusional.....

We moved back to Texas in Nov 2000. I thought everything was fine. I thought I was dealing nicely with things by myself. And we even had a few good moments now and then. He was working 2 jobs and gone all the time. In the meantime ow#1 had contacted me and was now married and the new H wanted to adopt oc. H signed the papers and it was a done deal. I thought I was the lucky one. How many times do we in this situation pray about such a miracle and never get it. I thanked God and thought it was time for it to all finally be overwith. This was in August 2001.

November 13th I found out I was pg. Thrilled? No, not at all. I was finally back in school and was detemined to finish so if he ever did this to me again I could walk out the door if I chose and support me and my daughter. I cryed. He comforted me by saying it would all be ok. He comforted himself by finding ow#2. I didnt find all of this out until one horrible day, Jan 7,2002. He flipped out and was leaving. I was hysterical not knowing what was going on. All I knew was that I was pg and my H had lost his freakin mind. He pushed me and slammed a car door on me....I let him leave. THat was on a Monday. His friend at the time called me the next day to see if I was ok. H didnt call until Friday...after he had drained our bank account to bail his girlfriend out of jail (which I didnt find out until later). His friend tried his best to comfort me and talk sense into H. H came home on Jan 14th (the day before my birthday) and told me it wasnt working and he wanted a divorce. I flipped out and that is when he told me about ow#2. He left again and I went thru hell.

His friend continued to talk to me and tried to talk to H and finally H quit talking even to his friend since his friend didnt approve of what he was doing. I found out he moved in with ow#2. A couple of months later he punched a window and it got infected. He ended up in the hospital and he called me. I went up there the next day and walked in on him with ow lying in the hospital bed with him. That was a hard sight to take. We fought. He told me I shouldnt have come, she was taking care of him, yada yada. There was a pro pic of the two of them beside the bed and balloons that said I love you. I was pregnant with my H's child and he was lying in a bed with someone else.

Ill spare you a few details. Fast forward. He got out of the hospital and was totally dependent on her.....her FOUR kids moved in with them in a one bedroom ghetto apartment. I continued to go to school and work. I got my AA in May. I had a beautiful baby girl July 3rd. His friend was no longer his friend which is sad for H since this guy is a real gem. He did continue to be my friend and has been there for me and my kids. Actually he was there when my baby was born. H didnt even know until that evening and didnt see her until the next day.

I have found out quite a bit about H. I found out all this time I thought he was one in the goal of putting out marriage back together he had a naked pic of ow#1 hidden that he showed off to his friends. All this time I thought he was staying late at work...at the local strip club or with ow#2 clubbing. He has since been kicked out of the apartment with ow#2 and she is back with her H. Since the birth of my daughter H has seen her and our 4 year old a total of 7 times. He has lived with various people and now has numerous tatoos and piercings. He has turned his back on everyone who ever loved him including God. It is a pretty sad situation...for HIM.

As for me and my kiddos....we will be just fine and dandy. It is such a relief for me. My divorce will be done soon. I have realized how happy I am without him. Ironically he now realizes what he has lost. Hes a bit too late. There isnt a thing in the world that would change my mind and I am quite content with that. We have been seperated since Jan 7th and I have developed a deep friendship with someone else. This man is the type I will marry one day. Whether it is him or not only the Lord knows. He is remarkable. He knows what a marriage should be. He has been wonderful to me and my kids. They love him and he loves them. I care for him very much and I know he cares for me. Only time will tell.....

But I know this....I will survive on my own. I do not need a man to make me happy. I do not need one to support me. I will do this on my own and never again will I be left in such a situation. More importantly I know now what a marriage should be and I will never marry someone who does not. My kids will grow up to know how a man should treat his wife and they will see what "til death do us part" really means.

Thank you to all who have supported and prayed for me, especially in my time of absense here. You all have meant more to me than you will ever know. What am I saying? Of course you know. Thank you. I love you all. Please dont let this story discourage any ones marriage....there are plenty of success stories here, including mine. My marriage wasnt a success, but I am.

Love

bw

<small>[ September 23, 2002, 05:27 PM: Message edited by: broken_wings ]</small>

Dear Broken_Wings,
An old friend reading this wishes you all the happiness you deserve.

I'm happy you've found a new friend and that after your divorce, you will lead a more productive life w/o all the unnessary grief these situations bring for YEARS.

You have my best wishes.

You are a testimony to the fact that no one human should put up with or be put through more than they can handle.

I was at the point of finally letting go of my marriage a few days after oc was born. I had an appointment (which I kept) with a divorce attorney. I somehow believed H's cries that he would be the best H ever, that he'd never hurt me like that again. At the same time I knew I'd be alright if he WASN'T the best H and gave it a shot.

I want to tell you how happy I am you and your babies are doing ok.

Perhaps this friend will be what God intended for you all along......

peace.
love
Debi

Dearest Broken Wing....It sounds like your wing has mended itself along with your heart.

I love happy endings, BW, especially for someone who deserves it as much as you do. You have had your feet held to the fire and not only survived but transcended the trials.

Congratulations on your degree, your lovely children and your outstanding attitude. Please stop back occasionally and give us updates on how things are going for you and how things are progressing. In the meantime, you are in our hearts and prayers...and remember, we love you, too.
Catnip =^^=

BW -
Thank you. In my heart I know I'd be ok, but part of me still so much wants this to work. Maybe part of me isn't ready to let go yet. But I know that when that time comes, I hope to have found the success that you have found.

Vee

BW,

I, too, am happy to read this new post! I have often wondered how you were doing, and am also happy to hear of your strength that you have always shown under the surface! It took guts, newly pregnant, to continue school, and live life w/o an abusive H! You and your kiddos will be in such a better place! I am saddened to hear that your stbxH has pulled so far away from those who really loved him, and is just figuring it out, a little too late! If this new friend is all he seems to be, I know that you will be happy with him, if that's what the Lord has in store for you!

I'm glad that I got to see your post before we move! I look forward to seeing more from you now!

Love,

Tigger

Dear brokenwings,

What a wonderful surprise! And what an amazing ending to such a sad story. I remember you so well when you first came to MB. You were truly broken. Now you and your girls are soaring on eagles' wings!

God bless all three of you and may He continue to bring you peace and happiness in your life.

Much love to you and your daughters,
heavenly

Wow, BW, talk about lemonade out of lemons!! Congradulations!

God bless you and your girls!!
J

BW,

I knew you could do it for those babies. I was wondering why you didn't respond to my last email. I'm so happy for you. Congrats on moving forward for you and yours.

Luv Ya,

Tee

You are a strong woman of faith and determination. You already have your mind made up that you will make it and those kids will need your strength. Too bad your stbx didn't realize what he had. How come sometimes we can't appreciate someone until they are gone??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I'm so glad that you realize that you are a success regardless. It's not what happens to us, it's how we take it. I'm very happy for you too! Thanks for sharing such encouraging words. Single parenting is not easy, but it sounds like you are totally up for the challenge! You GO!