Ok -
Quick update. My H has moved all of his stuff home, so now he is technically back at home. Is he trying to rebuild the M. Not really - he's still fence sitting. He has these moments where every once & a while I'll catch him looking at me with such longing, but he gets annoyed when I don't do the same back. I know - I could try, but normallly he does this when I'm deep in thought about why he won't act like he wants to save this M.

Anyway - this weekend my H had a drinking binge. He came to bed smelling like so much alcohol I thought to myself - well who needs to do a Burning Bed imitation, heck I could light a match & he'd act as the maltov cocktail <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
This am - he did the same thing. So I asked him if this was going to be a regular occurance. His response - please don't preach to me. So I told him - look as your friend - you won't find the answer to your problems at the bottom of a glass. I told him I understand your stressed & guilt ridden, but this isn't the way to solve the problem.

What do you do when they get like this? The man is going to self destruct. I hate seeing people like this. I'd say - oh well let him hit rock bottom, but I've seen rock bottom thanks to an alcoholic step father (who I am now proud to say is much better than he was when I was in high school) and I don't really feel like reliving that. Anyone dealt with this before? He won't go to a counselor because he doesn't want to 'set goals' & feels like he can't afford it. With his behavior, I think he really, really needs to go. He is really starting to tax my last good nerve. Oh - he does notice some of the MB stuff (like he asked about His Needs, Her Needs) and some articles I printed off so I think he's interested but still to chicken to get off the fence.

And on a good note - anyone who has Columbus Day off work today - you make me sick! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> Just kidding, enjoy your day off!

Vee

vee,,,,, why don't you see if your h would consider posting here to some of the men who are on this board? he might feel better talking to men instead if fearing that the women her will beat him up. just a thought.

and to all the women here i don't think that you do or would beat anyone up. but i do know that fh doesn't post because she felt so misunderstood.

Pops -
Thanks for the reply. I'll ask him & see what he says. I'm just really concerned about his drinking. We don't keep alcohol in our house & he doesn't drink unless he is really under a lot of stress. The last time he drank like this was when he was in the military overseas. *sigh* Normally we use each other as 'ears' to vent on, so this is pretty rough on him being that he has no family here in town & essentially has no one to really talk to about it. Of course he feels like he can't come to me because he feels guilty enough that he hurt me. Hopefully I can talk him into going to a counselor. I just don't like the path he's on & I'm getting very worried about him.

Vee, would you care to e-mail me? I do not know much about the alcohol part but have a suggestion on something that could help him.
Let me know. I am up VERY late and will check in later to give you my address. I don't like to leave it up too long.
NGU

NGU -
Sure. I'll check back in to get it. Thanks!

Vee

Hey there, just got on. i 'll be here for a few hours...
NGU

<small>[ October 15, 2002, 02:55 PM: Message edited by: Not Giving Up ]</small>

NGU -
I've got it.

Vee

Hey Vee, In my honest opinion, there is no need for you or your husband to go anywhere without one another, you should have went out with him, and he should have let you. You would then be able to monitor his drinking, and hopefully have a good time as well. If he really wants to wok on your M, then he would gladly like for you to accompany him.

I used to never let my W go anywhere with me, but not anymore. The Devil is out there lerking, and will send a distraction in a heartbeat. We are in the process of becoming best friends, she is going to be like one of my fellas.

If she were my focus, then I would not be in this situation.

Good Luck

p.s.
I really wish that I could write and email to your H. I think that he and I could possibly help each other through this.

Amlo