My husband and I had the long weekend together and I cried and left the house Friday night. We were talking and I just couldn't take his "I'm so sorry, I don't know why I did it" The bottom line is he has a baby daughter with an other women and I have to decide if I can live with that or not. One minute I can and the next I can't. How do you get the visuals out of your head? How do I trust again? Sometimes I feel like I can't go on any more. The mornings are the worst because I wake up to find it's still there the pain is unbearable at times. How do you go on? I feel like my whole world is crashing in around me. I don't care about anything. I don't feel like feeling! My husband wants us to work through this but I think it's to big to over come. He feels really bad and he doesn't know what to do. I just don't know how I can go on. I'm still so.... very sad.

When did you first learn of the affair? When did you first learn of the OC? Does your husband have contact with them? Do you and your hsuband have children together? How long have you been married? Are you living together? Have you been to a marriage counselor?

Just to get a better idea of what your story is and how we can help, maybe you can give us a little more information.

Marriage Builders is an amazing program. Divine intervention probably brought you to this site, so you've come to the right place.

Marriage Builders offers guidelines to rebuild and restore troubled marriages. If Dr. Harley's program is followed by and worked by both spouses, success is not only possible, but probable.

This sounds as though all this is relatively new to you and you are experiencing the raw pain of betrayal. If you are in the early stages, you are probably confused as to what you want to do about this. We try to encourage people not to loose faith and to spend time learning about the MB principles and incorporate them into your marriage before you make any drastic moves or do anything rash that you might regret later. You are too devastated right now to make any life altering decisions.

My advice to you is to begin the healing process by working on your anger and your sadness here. Begin studying the MB principles with your husband and commit yourselves to focusing on repairing the marriage. We'll all be here to help wherever we can and guide when we can.

Tell us more about yourself.

Catnip =^^=

I have been married for 22 years and we have 2 boys 1 is in college and the other last year of high school. I learned about the affair 2 weeks ago along with learning about the oc. It's a girl and she is 1 year and 8 months now. My husband said that in April of 2000 he had an affair with the ow and it only lasted a month or so, it meant nothing and it was just for sex and nothing else there is no love there. They stopped the relationship and he was told she was pregnant a few months later. He said he didn't know what to do and it was easier not to let me know the truth. He was afraid and didn't know how to handle it so avoiding it seemed the best way at the time. He went to the hospital when she had the baby because he felt he should when he saw the baby he said there was no doubt it was his.(kills me) He has had a relationship with the oc but not the ow she has a new boyfriend and he said there is nothing there. He said it is awkward when he goes over and he only stays for an hour with the ow in the other room. He has been giving her money to support the oc. Mind you when he is doing all of this I think he is fishing or going to his friends house never thinking this is going on why would I! I know he loves me and he said he will do what ever it takes but I can't get passed the liaring and how could he be living another life for so long. Our marriage is good and we do really care for each other but I think this is just to big for us to get past. He has another child!!! I called a mc but it's taking a long time to get an appointment. I haven't eaten or slept and I feel myself getting into a deep depression. I don't like how this is making me act I have always been in control and was the strong one know all I do is cry. I hate it. Will I ever have that bounce back in my step? I can't tell any of my family or my close circle of friends. I feel very isolated and the only one I have is my husband and I hate him. Not really but I think I can handle this and then those demon s come back into my head and make say and do things I would never be capable of doing before all this happened. I hate myself for not being in control of myself. I know under the circumstances I shouldn't be in control but I still hate feeling all this hate and sadness. I want to laugh again and be happy. It's only been 2 weeks for me but it has been a secret to my husband for 2 years so in a way he is past all this shock stuff. Thanks for listening. It does feel good to just write out how I feel.

Hello,
I want to say everything you said is normal. It is like you are on emotional roller coaster. This is normal. I want to say it gets easier with time!
And if you need medication to help you then do it.

I still think that your H should get a DNA test done. You never know. There are some people that thought OC was theirs and it turned out it was not!

I would read the prinicples on this site. This is so raw to you I would not make any major decisions right now.

Dawn