I have posted only a couple of times but read alot. A quick background, I have been married 18 years have 4 children, dday was jan 00. H had a 4 year A with ow that produced 2 oc. We struggled for along time until I found this site. It has helped my H and I tremendously. I asked H to have no contact with Ow and he hasn't since June 02, Things have been going very well with us. Now here is where I need your opinion on things. Recently OW Imed me and told me that she had decided to stop the court order for child support and that until it stopped she would send back whatever she received. I was in shock but hopeful because the money is really needed here and she makes more than H and doesn't need money. I also know that she has used the money and would say things like if you keep in contact with OC and see them and call them on a regular basis, she will even move here from her state so that the children would be closer, he could just give her 20.00 a week. So when this new proposal came up I figured it was another try at getting H involved with her and kids. She wanted H to call and answer some questions for her regarding OC and that it is not my and H decision to see oc or not that decision is between her and my H and I have no say. I told H about this and asked him again what his intentions were and he told me that the oc were better off with no contact because he could not be the father for them and the father she wants him to be. So no phone call. Tonight i was told that she will not stop order because H has to have some obligation even though the money is not needed. I told OW I understand. She says she doesn't want to hurt me and my children. I think she just wanted to play her last card and hope he would bite. Do you think I am right? What do you think? Thank you.

I agree with you 100%
don't give in. Was A DNA test done?
if not have talk to H about it.

Thanks for replying Malc, yes a dna test has been done on second oc but not first, H signed the BC. My H knows how much the cs hurts us and would rather give her what she wants so she won't take anymore, I on the otherhand would rather she take it and leave us alone.